You lay in bed at night with thoughts that bring you down
You thought that you were strong, but you were wrong
You relieve the moment when you lost it and went into the dark
You lay there awake wondering if you could have done anything different
Could you have made her stay?
Could you have shown her that you lost your way?
You lay awake because you haven't forgiven yourself
Friday 22nd October 2021 12:41 am
This old and gummy English lion
Feeding on the tears of little girls.
Finding its bravery in packs
Of like-minded scavengers
Who prowl and growl
And claim a foul
For every perceived slight
We won a contest
Prejudiced by racist taunts
And sieg-Heil accusations
By the Nazis
Towards the reconciled....
Friday 2nd July 2021 3:12 pm
Kneel before the rich black mud
the minty plants smell when bruised
she sees the double backed burden
spouting eggs into the brown tea water
shame gathers with the loaches at the bottom
as the dragonfly larvae pounce
and eat those who have just been born
the shadows hold no magic to her yet
Hands fly, she captures a creature
pulling its leg to keep it safe
Monday 15th March 2021 9:28 pm
To the floor
For sick notes
Saturday 9th January 2021 11:47 am
Then the photos appear
I never see them coming
That need for revelation
Emotionally so numbing
Image of ex-husband
Faces of cheeky kids
This woman has lived
My life hit the skids
Tales come with the pics
Stories of her family life
Domestic ups and downs
How she fared as a wife
All I feel is hot shame
Angry at what I missed
Wife, kids, annive...
Wednesday 14th October 2020 11:03 am
I have been here before,
and yet it is a strange repetition:
this not going out;
this hording of food and handwash.
And then there are some familiar foes.
No use insisting on social distancing,
I am already caught betwixt twin sisters:
Vigilance and Anxiety.
Spanish Flu? Or Swine Flu?
Please, God, not Ebola?
No, none of the above.
This pandemic provision,
Monday 12th October 2020 11:04 am
For many years I walked in shame
With my head bowed down not looking anyone in the eyes
Shame for not being good enough
Shame for not being wanted nor loved
I sat in darkness wondering if I would ever be able to find light
Sat there wondering, if I would ever be worthy or enough
Then a voice whispered in my ear, " I am here."
The voice got louder and yelled, " I am here."
Tuesday 25th February 2020 5:46 pm
I only want young, thin, pretty girls
to look my way.
I don't care if they have anything
intelligent to say.
I just want them to ooh and awe
at my game.
Of course I have no shame,
my past is to blame.
Yes, this dance could drive
the thinker insane.
So, leave with your dignity,
while I toss back another one,
and twirl my ring.
# # #
Thursday 12th September 2019 4:03 pm
I heard about life where we were equal
I dream about that time every day
They say people are all the same
so what depends on their names.
Every night I go to bed
I lie down and close my eyes
I see people and all that hate
I bow my head in shame at them
I remember that all the time
You were lying by my side
You held my hand and kissed my lips
Tears are sliding down my cheeks.
Friday 28th September 2018 4:07 pm
In a warehouse, in a cage a child sits
Clinging to her only comfort a blanket of foil
And whilst we all recoil
at the horror on display
Theresa May declares although it’s not ok
She will wait and chat in her special friend’s ear.... only when he is here
Whilst umbilical cords of family ties
Are severed bleeding out amid cries ..............................
Tuesday 3rd July 2018 12:03 pm
Beige walls stand empty where original artworks once hung
A woman, beyond her years in mind and body, sits at her desk
Staring at a screen that, despite vast knowledge at her fingertips
The cloud of cognizance that enveloped her has cleared
Ridiculed by those she trusted
No more pills
No more gange
Nothing to help control the demons within her mind
There is no feeling o...
Tuesday 28th November 2017 10:23 pm
Your words are hollow,
your words I swallow,
time and time again
action did not follow,
I still swallowed
and in return
every piece I gave,
my soul, my heart,
my disturbing brain
and you just left me
standing in the rain
carrying my pain
so dismayed I caved
The rage a blunt stain
upon the page.
Sunday 20th August 2017 2:20 pm
It was surprising that after work, on Thursday,
she wanted to meet and share her bed with a man, again.
Maybe men, even, she thought, suddenly indecisive and guilty,
but for society, men, peers, their judgment, their pursed lips and nods of disapproval.
Now that she was almost home, her fireplace and Scotch seemed dearer, as usual;
the icy blanket of her acceptance of undesired celi...
Friday 21st July 2017 9:10 pm
Express yourself, they said.
Somehow I knew, but went ahead.
And as they recoiled, in shock
At the horrors under my bed
The fear and shame upon their faces
I've added to my box of haunted places
I join them, as me they mock
and hide my words when in their spaces
Thursday 29th December 2016 7:33 am
Some thoughts on body shaming of Olympic athletes - the most ridiculous nonsense I have heard!
Thursday 11th August 2016 9:55 am
Been working hard loving
working hard chances way too many, many
you’re foolish not to let me go
you helped me walk when i was off
you told me this was the last time
i’m sure its nice to change the bloody razors
maybe turn back the clocks
those where the days
I know i fucked it up
I know i was the clown, banana peel
you come around, you hear the sounds...
Thursday 28th January 2016 10:03 pm
Breasts are something to be ashamed of, something to hide,
Yet something that a kid will suck on just to stay alive!
Something everyone once depended on once in their life
Yet something evil, something I must hide
A man's nipples are useless and yet just fine
The woman's are lewd tho to a hungry baby divine
To wear one layer of clothing!
A sin God forbid despite the sweltering heat
Friday 22nd May 2015 7:09 am
Glass sides tip away the hope of perception and cameras flash away any hint of reflection
at this hub of metal minds and stiff bodies.
This soft grey raven digs for existence among the steel nest of discardment.
Every sip a taste of us, our residue his everything.
Around me, gold fingered bird-watchers with their fogged up binoculors,
tasting their uncessary glory.
Molten pride down th...
Thursday 20th November 2014 3:30 pm
are we recording?
with that the withered concierge told me
“we don’t want your type around here
regardless I made love to a cultural icon
away from the conference table
out of sight of the knowing grins
I made her smile
and as ziggy played for time with no
reason nor rhyme
there and then I decided to hide this story in a
Thursday 30th May 2013 11:00 am
Shame - the greatest shambles; a sham
sex and guilt, beauty and modesty; molest
pitted in the stomach like acid,
spat swallowed pity, feeding starvation, an unquenchable famish, unsensibly sore
malnourished habits die hard, and lonely, resentfully
twisting and turning and diving, deprived
Lies for eyes, for ears and the nose; twitch
flies on the flesh of ...
Friday 25th January 2013 5:48 pm