They call it the clean disease. Like it is neat, polite, and easy to understand. As if you could fix it with a new sponge, a better list, a scented candle, and a good night of sleep. People say, I am so OCD about my closet. They say it with a grin. They hold up color coded sticky notes like trophies. They think it is a style. I laugh with them sometimes. I laugh because expl...

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You again.
Of course it’s you.
You never knock.
You just crawl back in through the cracks in my calm.
I can feel you before I hear you—
like static under my skin.
Like a thought that pretends it’s mine.

You always come when I’m tired,
when my hands ache from the washing,
when my mind is raw from rewinding the same memory
over and over
until it bleeds truth or rel...

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Hello.
It’s me again.
I didn’t mean to intrude—
I just wanted to check.
Did you lock the door?
You did?
No, I know, but… are you sure?

You can call me habit.
Call me careful.
Call me the voice that keeps you safe.
I’m the reason nothing bad has happened yet.
You’re welcome.

I like patterns.
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
There’s comfort in rhythm, isn’t th...

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I have this indescribable need to be heard,

like I’ve never whispered a single word over the course of my life,

like I’ve never uttered an incoherent syllable under the light of the dying sun,

like I’ve never looked into the eyes of another and truly felt seen. 

Am I alone? 

Am I floating here, lost in the waves of a turbulent sea,

waiting for a lifeboat that will never...

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When we die,

We'll be forgotten,

But what can we say when

We're forgotten

While alive?

What am I to think

When I am invisible?

When I am cast aside?

When I am the problem?

Who is there to see me for me?

Does death then hold no meaning?

Is death even worth fearing?

Or is it rather embraced

As a means of escape

From those who

Don't care

At all?

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On a vacation I need to travel

Into the unknown annals of Hell

Seeking a date with Mr. Devil

Conveying him that I’m on peril

It’s him who rescued me back then

It’s him whom I obeyed back then

He is the one who can help me quell

When I’m there in the annals of Hell.

Eyes moisten often when they see

The small shrub has grown into a tree

The stem swelled up with dee...

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cling-clangs against my brain

feign solutions but they’re all the same 

feasts for frantic fissions 

unbridled, undeniably out of 

control

the drug I’ve always craved

but can’t do a thing other than

think

did I say it wrong?

did they hear me right?

I’m sure of it 

So unsure of it

I may be wrong

maybe all is well

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Have you ever thought of ending it all?
Facing your fear when your backs to the wall?
Crossing the bridge and paying the toll?

Nobody know's the feeling better then me
I fantasize while in bed, rest assured I can't sleep
Knowing it's me I fear murdering me

Drowning my face in my own reflection
Disconnecting myself from other's connection
Removing my head from self-loathing dejection

...

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O, they can drive us really mad - our peculiar obsessions.

Are you cleaning all the time or are you buying too many possessions?

Or perhaps you are being miserly and keeping all of your savings.

Or may be you need to do or see something in order to satisfy your cravings.

Is your obsession so odd that no one else can understand?

Has it taken such a hold that it is getting o...

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I will paint a picture
of my life with a border
a perfect picture of obsessive compulsive disorder
imagine inside a house  above a fire is a
framed painting
the painting is of a scene
inside a house with a painting on the wall
above the fire
and smaller again the painting on the painting
on the painting and it just gets smaller until it's a dot
A single dot left on the chalk board
the t...

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Beige walls stand empty where original artworks once hung
A woman, beyond her years in mind and body, sits at her desk
Staring at a screen that, despite vast knowledge at her fingertips
Is empty
The cloud of cognizance that enveloped her has cleared
Ridiculed by those she trusted
"Over medicated"
No more pills
No more gange
Nothing to help control the demons within her mind
There is no f...

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O-C-D-C

1-2-3;

D-C-O-C

4-5-6;

Must touch once, twice, thrice!

Otherwise I must pay the price!

Penetrating thoughts that won’t go away,

Compulsions that haunt me day by day,

Anxiety comes, anxiety goes,

Got guilt, depression and so much obsession.

O-C-D-C

1-2-3;

C-D-O-D

Please leave me!

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Pure O

Light On

Light Off

Light On

Light Off

Go to the door

Oven

Switched off

Oven

Switched off

Go back to the door

Go out

Turn key

Turn away

Go back

To lock the door

Sit down

In car

Get out

To check

Locked door

Four pens

In line

Adjacent

Squared off

Did I Lock The D...

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