Too many nights, too many times

I've woke in sweat and had to find

a way to push you out again,

and pray once more that this will end.

That from my heart you'll finally leave

and not come back into my dreams.

For I am old enough to know

the years have made our love run cold.

And I am wise enough to see…

I only love your memory.

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An old porch swing made once for two.

Cool night breeze calling out to you.

Ten thousand memories rise above,

the sunset waters of our love.

Just like the day slips into the night,

the love we had that was oh so right

it slipped away. It slipped away,

like day slips into night.

Was our love doomed to come and pass,

one day as fire, one day as ash?

Night afte...

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The torn remain

of what was plain

waves now ore frozen ground,

in winds that blow

cold ice and snow

and other feelings down.

There isn’t much

left in a touch

to calm the trembling hand.

For winter’s chill

falls colder still

in cloak across the land.

The settled dust

and cankered rust

guard safe against the grain,

while fading dim

from deep ...

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First note chimes,

long silence gone.

Like breath again

or light at dawn.

Pure joy to hear,

healed by each note.

Lost in the melody,

finding hope.

With new life comes

new eyes too see,

and ears to hear

but eventually…

the song winds down,

fire fades to smoke.

For each song has

a final note.

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I design my flow of life in my own way
Never built regrets;
Only keep on building memories!!!

Made my way through hard rocks enduring all the pain;
But still enjoy my tracks!!!

'Ll seem quite and beautiful,
'Ll reflect what you desire;
Don't dare to test my threshold,
Or else 'Ll sweep out all d darkness around!!!

You help me carve and pave new path
Helped me see the world in diffe...

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The I, me, pajama striped shirted,

Ignorant, stand alone, shout-out nutcase,

nonsensical words blurted,

staggered with burp and belch

under caustic breath;

ale breath, shot breath.

He gives a show of

none stick comedy,

and imperfectly performed

puerile knobbery.

“Huh! Huh!”

Pint, betting slip, kebab

“What’s that? Yea,

I'll be home soon, Bab”

Tells her t...

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I hear the hounds whine. The dust rises as they stomp and claw the dirt before me. Eyes made of moonlight and their breath, the stench of pain. I am no longer their mistress. Forsaken them for a heart. Oh wretched beasts forgive me. Allow me one more day's light above the shadows.

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I feel it itching under my skin
clawing away deep inside
I thought i could be myself around you
now i am just sorry that I ever tried

I find myself bending over backwards for you
trying to leap through these flaming hoops
Still, it isn't a choice that you choose
For that wouldn't ever, benefit you

We're winding down this endless road
neither of us can find any hope.
Still we hold ont...

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I think of you, chastise myself, 

And press your name away

Ignoring, stubbornly, the fact, 

You’re present every day

I don’t ask why I cannot help 

But seek your commentary

On every task, or smile of mine- 

A wish I cannot bury

I say, embarrassed at myself, 

That this affair ends now. 

This fantasy, this made-up game, 

I cannot keep allowing

After...

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You don’t want to fail

I don’t wanna let you down 

But there always a time which makes us doubt 

Fighting each other without making sense 

Why can’t we find A melody between us 

I hope to find a middle ground between us 

Where we can be proud of ourselves 

Hoping on the bed made by our faiths

Where we can be at peace 

However we suffer we can be at ease

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The production commenced 
with actors on stage 
portraying the love we once had- 
the grasp of her cheek, 
the look in her eyes, 
as he folded over himself 
to make her swoon his way. 

Amongst an empty crowd, 
the curtain’s now drawn, 
the actors have gone home, 
the final act is done, 
it’s time to get on. 

Hanging on for an encore, 
hoping for another show, 
relishing in the me...

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Images and words 
suddenly appear, 
words longed for 
hitting deep 
as they wrap around 
and envelop me,
overwhelming yet satisfying.

Since our last meeting 
your ghostly presence arrived 
in the oddest of places: 
romantic restaurants, 
quaint cafes, 
art galleries, 
long car drives, 
concert halls, 
walking in a park, 
every room of the house, 
and late at night in bed. 

Da...

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Telepathically, your thoughts race over me

They strike during the early morning hours

It’s that time again

But we won’t talk about that now

We’ll say so much that will fit in

The space between the silence 

But those days where we lit up the sky

We won’t talk about that now

But the fantasies creep in

Some days, or most days,

On what we’ve done behind locked d...

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Her fingers tracing mine
Lily danced me out of the garden
those green eyes brimming lively 
with purest abandon
Then barefoot on the boardwalk
her summer dress riding high
she leapt onto the jetty 
and gestured to the sky

We let our tanned legs hang below
as we bottomed up the bottle
the air was hot and heavy
the sea around us peaceful
There was lust upon our minds
as a veil upon a ...

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Entreaties

My gums are bleeding again.

There’s a stack of papers that need attention

But I can’t find my glasses.

My truck is making that funny noise.

I sleep too late

Because no one wakes me.

I don’t write

I feel it’s all been said.

I find I’m repeating myself

No one takes me seriously

Your point’s been made:

I am selfish and fickle,

Say whate...

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Michelangelo said the work of art awaited him beneath the slab of marble, merely for him to uncover it. In my own small way I understand that as I write these days. The poem I know is possible waits patiently at the other side across a murky divide and with luck and patience maybe I can reach it, reveal it.

Here is  one I wrote about a barbecue years ago in the small town where I lived.

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A Bracelet Of Daisies

She made me a daisy bracelet

And twisted the stems round my wrist

We swore we would never forget

the sun slowly set as we kissed

And for a short while that was true

love blossomed like that daisy chain

but those white petals never grew

the green shoots were twisted in pain

It hurts when you’re given a heart

that unnourished withers and ...

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I was living certain and sure
of the future I desired
A house by the water
sea air kissing my eyes
before I brave the morning paper

A figure framed in a gaping doorway
watching freighters skim the horizon
Rest my coffee cup on the fence
slide a nail down this foriegn envelope
draw the perfumed letter from within

The paper see-through 
like her summer dresses
My fingers beneath it
...

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I stand in front of a crowd
I’ve prepared for this night
I speak of you, us
I sing of you
The stories describe how we loved
And then how you left, 
How your ghost tormented me
And left my heart a wreck

I’m done crying over you
And hurting
Over and over again
Our story is done
Finally at night
My peace has come 

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Is it better to have a love lost

Not knowing about the other side

To have a deep hole in your heart 

To keep what was lost in the past

And always wonder ‘what if’

Or to have it come back,

Haunt you

And realize it was true

Always has been

And he’s thinking of you, too

With thousands of miles away

You both have commitments

There’s no future

Only the p...

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We met there in the bar
most nights
the same drink
the same table
conversing over troubles
we leaned on each other 
in those long nights 

This night
I sit and wait
at the same table
with the same drink
you hadn’t arrived yet
and I linger for hours
wondering 

Nights like this pass
was it something I said
was there someone new
what was it keeping you

Then you arrive one night...

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Walking down Lovers Lane on that cool October evening 
We stopped and lingered there
Stood only inches apart
There wasn’t anything more to say
I wasn’t one for small talk anyway 
We both knew what we wanted
I asked that fateful question,
‘What are you waiting for?’
You kissed me
All I can remember is that time stood still
I lost my breath 
I lost feeling in my legs
I crashed to the gro...

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I saw your face after 8 months of absence

Could have avoided it by taking another path

But I pressed on

Faced the challenge

Saw your smile

And I felt nothing

No joy

No pain

No love

Only the regret that I gave you more than you ever deserved

I relived the moment a hundred times

I could have said so many things 

I could have taken the high road and be pleasan...

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Meet me in the rain

So I can explain

The sun’s gone 

And it’s been too long

I look at your pictures on the wall

I shouldn’t keep them up for too long

I miss the sound of you down the hall

So I avoid the sound of you at all

It’s as if the flood gates of heaven opened up from God’s weeping

Deep down I know it wasn’t you I should be keeping

[2016]

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One by one counting memories:
an old photograph of us at the beach,
a sweater that won’t rid itself of your scent,
books and CDs that you lent,
I’ve packed them away
They won’t see another day

I’ve packed the boxes, 
made the plans,
the rooms are empty
but I am motionless

Is it that familiar look?
Is it the morning glow
that paints itself through the window?
No, it’s the memories ...

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I’m not the man for you,
this is true
but does your man, Henry,
make you tremble like I used to?
Does he do things to you like I used to?

He may look nice in his suit
and treat you to dinner
but does he deliver?
Does he cross your mind late at night?
Does he give you butterflies?
Does he bring you your favorite flowers?

I was too much of a coward
I should have loved you
I should h...

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We circle as sharks
on the Hyde Park winter rink
our eyes like lasers
I audibly bleep when they meet

We both go forwards
not getting anywhere
we pass with differing intervals
I only breathe when we pass

Some laps are flawless
some laps are clumsy
some laps I nearly take some sucker down
some laps I kiss the ice

I feel your eyes lift me to my feet
I feel them brush the slush from...

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Lit by the distant sun 
in a backyard beer-garden 
overlooking the meadow
my swimming brain spins out
through adventures of the past
forgotten journeys 
by coach, by plane
through unfamiliar landscapes
to the desert 
in California

We rode the Greyhound 
between the sun-drenched cities
your head lay on my lap
and when we could tear 
our eyes from one-another
we'd watch the world pa...

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Attic window open in the night
as hinges creak
it's a dim swell of light
from the page, I raise my pen
is that your laugh, your voice I hear
blowing through the years

Is it you, is it you
or a song of the wind
it is you, is it you
well, I never know

I see the miles of white tiles
that infinite airport floor
where you left me statuesque
our future time without a date
that never ca...

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He loves her but, 
she loves him,
but he loves the mirror 
like his lost love loves selfies.

Adoration, pointing every direction, 
like weather vanes in a hurricane.

Each unware their 
love affair 
is bound to end. 

Love lessons often repeat 
until we understand that 
real love begins within, 
then overflows to others, 

making the circle of love 
complete. 

###

https://...

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They were the deciding factor

Of a good or bad day

Of whether I was okay

If we were okay

They could change my mood

Stop me in my tracks

Jumble my mind

Blind me from the truth

Like heroin

I was their addict

Ephemeral pleasure

Everlasting poison

By the end

I was weak

Lost

Stripped of all identity

And they appeared

In my dreams

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I still loved you but I walked away.
I know you still love me, but I'm not comming back.
You still try to reach me, I know you do.
Every text you send I read, never ending your silent plead.

I know you're hurting I'm too,
but I know I can't be with you.
You were my everything I hope you know.
now I can't give you roses of red colour.

I was hurting, my heart was bleeding,
I didn't let ...

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Watching, listening, waiting

An endless unmoving time

Pain thriving within her

Her heart is far from fine.

Feeling, hurting, crying

An endless stabbing pain

Giving up on trying

Her heart so full of strain.

Retching, whimpering, head swirling

An endless wrath of terror

Her fingers clasping, curling

Her heart forever slain.

Calming, numbing, unfeeli...

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The snake

It slithers around me

Putting on a show

As if I'm in control

But little do I know

It's charming me

Hypnotized

I give myself over

Allowing the fangs

To pierce my flesh

The venom

Paralyzing me

Smiling proud

At the feat

Begins the retreat

Into the grass

Disappearing

From my vision

I thought this

This was the test

To ...

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Did you ever think

As you slandered my name

Did you ever feel a thing

While you were slithering

Were you ever authentic

While I wore your scarlet letter

Thank God I found my shades

To block out the sun

Blinding me from the truth

I see you puffing your chest

Showing your bright feathers

Like I have no self control

As if it’s biology calling

Now watch...

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Emotional fortress built with broken stones,
Battle ram rushing a chill down my bones. 
Forecast rain and mist, 
Cutting down my sight, 
Loud cries followed by their echoes,
On this battlefield of love.
Throwing spears and arrows, 
Shaped as yelled sentences,
Directed at my heart,
Even the quiet whispers are able to do their part.

As the gates came crushing, 
You just stood still. 
S...

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Lost in thought I sought and sought in a jungle of memories, which with every passing second fades into the distance but struggles to disappear. I walk through the foyers of my mind- on each side open doors all except one – closed & unmarked. I edge towards it anxious and afraid, turn the lock but it will not budge. The memory of u is trapped behind a closed door. I bang and kick and shove and ki...

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Saint Valentine’s Day Mascara

She cried when I forgot.
She cried when I remembered,
her tears like silver arrows
to my heart,
her eyes black-lined with sorrow.

The ink, barely dried,
smudged with liquid joy.
A big wet splash on the ‘o’
turning ‘love’ into ‘live’
and crowning my name
like a liquid tiara
for a princess
in a cruel land.

Granting wishes
like kisses.
So I wished s...

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Fragments of my heart began to scatter like narrowed tears,

Foraging the pieces to corrade together, 'till the very near.

I frech as I hear the boastful brontides approach

Agonously attempting to grasp on to my unconvienent hopes.

My eyes are discerpted, bleeding tears of remorse

Time had fleered me from its natural habitat

Balefully, it mocked my optimistic ways

Pirating...

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dust

dust settles

dead skin

I trace my finger

through you

wishing you

were here

not gone

in a cloud

of dust

not spread

across my

furniture

like winterfall

and so

I don’t clean

I sit and stare

at the places

you have been

the places

where you

touched me

kissed me

before the rage

and arguments

...

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Deadly Nightshade

touching you

gently

kissing your neck

feeling

your heartbeat

synchronise

with mine

the grey clouds

on a Tuesday

in September

spill

their leaden

tears

twilight

seeps

between

heavy

curtains

slowly

ebbing

into

darkness

time

slows to

a strum

s...

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Jigsaw

They say you cannot live without me,

yet I am happy lying here alone –

adrift on an ocean of Axminster.

You didn’t miss me until you were finished

and by then it was far too late.

I was just one of your many pretty pieces,

inconsequential to the scheme of things,

until I was the only thing you needed.

By then I was safely hidden away,

f...

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The Clown

This make-up’s dried upon my face,

gone cracked with age and wear.

I can’t remove this absurd mask.

You’ll never know how much I care.

The girl with pretty eyes will smile,

the clown, so sad, will sigh.

Another chance has passed away.

Another star lights the sky.

You see the clown and laugh at him,

I turn away and cry,

‘cos...

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LANDSCAPE OF TEARS

I sense that you are near me,

close enough to touch, right now.

In my mind.

No one else can see you next to me

but I do. As we are now,

we once were in reality

at some time in our history.

Your spirit never leaves me

and your ghost forever haunts me,

your love is my saviour intertwining

me in your spiders web of hearsay.

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