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Barista Blues

I lost my girl to a barista
He’s taken all I’d got
Wrote her name on her cup, then he kissed her
While she necked an espresso shot

I thought that I could trust her
But this is no minor affliction
Her love for the bean’s robusta
It’s a terminal addiction

I’m a has bean on the cafe scene
You could say at this juncture
Since I lost my Costa Coffee Queen
My Nespresso capsule’s punctured

By the grinder’s where you’ll find her
Shaking, serious, pale
Where there are single origin roasts to stir
And aromas to inhale

She shivers at the respiratory hiss
Of steam injected cappuccinos
They’re her idea of perfect bliss
And he’s taught her all that he knows

Kilimanjaro coffees from Kenya
Hand picked, fruity, ground
Freshly milled misto from Venezuela
A tropical Paradise, Found

She spends her mornings surfing
On cafe latte waves
Arabica and Java
Supply the hit she craves

In the Grand Bazaar in Istanbul
I once lost her for a while
While she sipped an Ethiopian brew
From the hills of the Upper Nile

Now she’s a squeeze for that sleazy barista
I wish he’d been on a shift that missed her
We’re finished since the bastard kissed her
And we had the perfect blend

No longer am I her Starbucks A-lister
I’m her addict, I can’t resist her
She’s gone, my Blue Mountain soul sister
It’s the bitter, empty end.



satirecoffeelost loveinfidelitysocial satire

◄ Socially Perfect

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R A Porter

Thu 23rd May 2024 22:13

Crikey JC, had to look that one up!

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John Coopey

Thu 23rd May 2024 22:03

I'll never be a bard, so
I prefer cortado
(It keeps my nudger hard, though)

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R A Porter

Thu 23rd May 2024 10:54

Thanks Stephen, so pleased you enjoyed the cappuccinos, it’s almost that time of the morning…☕️

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Stephen Gospage

Thu 23rd May 2024 07:40

Yes, I liked 'cappuccinos' and 'he knows'! Another great read, RA.

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R A Porter

Wed 22nd May 2024 14:26

Glad you enjoyed it Graham - I nearly called it "The Has Bean", maybe I should have done!

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Graham Sherwood

Wed 22nd May 2024 11:43

A very innovative rhyming scheme here RA, brilliant stuff

'a has-bean on the cafe scene' made me laugh, well done G

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