angst is what keeps me going,,
fears hoist me up like bones
nought more live to my ears
than the dirge dread intones
yes, I've read those books on
the dark influence of stress,
yet, which school to follow?
I'm more confused, not less
finally I plumped for Sigmund,
he uses my curlers for a perch,
common sense is his forte and
he saved me years of research...
Friday 9th April 2021 11:02 am
I don’t wanna be here
and that may be hard to hear.
I’m sorry for always letting you down
because when I do, it makes you frown.
It’s become second nature to fake a smile,
because being happy is the new style.
I hate it when we argue and fight.
I hate it so much, it makes me cry at night.
I think I’ve run out of tears
from crying all these years.
I cry in the car...
Wednesday 17th February 2021 3:56 pm
in the middle
on the edge
I am so much
so much in the middle
the middle of being
of being on the edge
the edge of things.
And I think
These are the worst
places to be
The middle and the edge
Or is it?
Or is it
knowing where we are
is the wrong kind of knowing?
in the middle
of being alive
on the edge
Wednesday 10th February 2021 1:57 am
Oh there's a change, there's a change a-coming
Oh no there's a change, something won't be the same,
There's going to be some blame a-coming.
Begin the breathing, there's that sinking feeling.
No. No, surely we can swim, maybe we can win
We can float or find a boat, or keep the water under chin...
Oh there's a change, there's a change a-coming
Another source of pain, each time they're ch...
Saturday 30th January 2021 1:19 am
Being too sensitive is not for the faint-hearted
We all peer at life through individual prisms
I know now when my thin skin started
It was watching your peculiar mannerisms
Your peculiar mannerisms are legion
The way you chew your food is a sight
Your body language is a whole religion
Those facial expressions a thing of the night
You've left me wide open to the el...
Tuesday 14th April 2020 1:06 pm
Speaking can feel like your swallowing
So, you may as well swallow instead
Or it’s giving,
Giving and giving
Fingers down your throat,
Will I be stronger tomorrow?
Or just hollow tomorrow?
So, you end up filling up on someone else’s dictionary
I am disarmed without my language
But my language is disarming
Words do break your bones
Saturday 2nd November 2019 3:40 pm
Therapy’s been fine but it’s not fixing my problems.
Each week talking about something new, but we never actually solve them.
Mr. Joyce tells me I need to let my emotions pass through me.
But my emotions make me who I am, so I know I need to disagree.
My identity has always been important and, honestly, I identify as depressed.
That as well as anxious, lost, and always stress...
Sunday 29th September 2019 3:02 pm
I see creatures in the dark
Are they monsters?
I whisper lie
And they whisper truth
I open my eyes
When did the tears come?
I lay awake, dreaming of light
All I see are shadows
The creatures wait
I hear screaming in the dark
Is it me?
I want to say monster
But instead I close my mouth
Can anyone hear?
My sound is trappe...
Wednesday 24th October 2018 8:32 pm
Canaries in the mine.
Kids that cut themselves.
New mums on Prozac,
Calpol poured down tiny throats.
Twelve year olds try ketamine
(already smoking weed).
ask to drink girl’s pussy juice.
‘Mum, what does he mean?’
A teenage girl has overdosed.
Everybody’s glued to screens.
Can anybody see
canaries in the ...
Friday 8th June 2018 1:11 pm
I rely on sleep
It’s the only thing
To keep thoughts at bay
Hours when my mind
Releases its grip
That strangles my sanity
Now, in its own
Sick and twisted way
Keeps sleep at bay
My mind is evolving
Tightening its grip
And slaughtering my sanity
Thursday 3rd May 2018 1:03 pm
Stress is a gun to your head, even tho I'm dead inside, I'm not after that lead, got too many problems to dread, too much going on, and still nothing right has been said.
Friday 3rd November 2017 8:37 am
Feel Like I'm Crazy
The doctor tells me "it's Fibromyalgia"
I've never heard of it before
But I think finally I have an answer
For all of my pain
But it doesn't take me long to decipher
It's something that they can't explain
Do they think that I'm insane?
They don't understand it
There is no cure
It's a curse not an answer
And I don't know how much more of this I can endure
Friday 22nd September 2017 5:04 pm
standing there silent, feet on the ground
in a world of my own whilst folk rush around
in every direction, this seething throng
is it just me, am I in the wrong
am I the only one in this crowd
not making a noise but wanting to shout
and scream at those that are nearby
I shrug my shoulders, let out a sigh
all going to the office, a corporate ideal
sterile surroundings, same look and feel
Thursday 20th July 2017 1:48 pm
This one comes from some older stuff of mine, written whilst dealing with what i didnt realise was a depression / anxiety disorder at the time. Thankfully now its under control, but reading this back makes me remeber just how black things were back then.
Darkness; continuous, deep, perpetual darkness.
Constant. Soulless. Empty dark space.
It laps at the edges, frayed edges of my c...
Saturday 15th October 2016 11:56 am
5th grade was my downfall
Anxiety coupled with A.D.D
Made for the perfect broken marriage.
6th grade was calm.
I had everything under control
And I was taking medication
But 7th grade was morbid.
One only the devil could produce,
Had arrived with the diseased name
8th grade was the year Depression made friends
Wednesday 13th April 2016 4:30 pm
Don't let this life pass you by,
Seek the Lord, break down and cry
He'll lift you up, He'll fill your cup
Yes even though the heart's corrupt
He'll change you from the inside out
Now isn't that what it's all about
God changing us from day to day
Like a figure from a lump of clay
The choice is ours to obey
The choice is ours to kneel and pray
If only we would trust His...
Thursday 31st March 2016 5:56 pm
I've been lying to my friends and family for a few weeks now.
Monday 29th June 2015 12:57 am
A crowded room
is such a lonely place,
wear a fragile mask
upon a weary face.
but there’s nobody there
and there’s nothing to do
except sit and stare.
The distant sounds
of joy and laughter
drifting like echoes
in dusty rafters.
As you slowly subside,
sinking way down low
and you're silently wondering
how far you can go....
Tuesday 19th May 2015 12:08 am
Wish I could turn it off
Voices echoing around
Wish I could reboot my brain!
I keep it all inside
All my worries
But I'm scared Scared I'm going to crack up
There's only so much I can think about
Keep it bottled up
Even though it's not healthy
I need to release the cork
Don't want to be in that dark place again
Friday 13th February 2015 4:03 pm
The Union man gets up to say that rights he fought for day by day
Are quickly being snatched away. Hurrah the Union man!
He’s calling out to you and me to show some solidarity
And march beside the TUC. Defend the Union man!
The low paid worker makes a plea to call upon our sympathy.
The state affords him subsidy to make a living wage.
When public jobs are privatise...
Monday 1st April 2013 4:49 pm
Here is a link to my poem about a day at IKEA
Wednesday 2nd January 2013 2:28 pm
YOUR FAMILY AND I
Well, here we are having a great time thinking
of Christmas and times gone past. We’re so happy
having a laugh and some beers.
I liked the meal you made but I hated
what happened next. It all started over some stupid fags.
Accusations are flying around, it isn’t my fault that I know.
If it’s all arguments and bad feelings, I’m off!
Tuesday 10th January 2012 9:51 pm
Once-upon-a-time, a barman worshipped the Sun.
Worked nights so didn’t see much of it
but in his head he’d got stories of
the Fire God supreme,
vanquishing monsters who'd eat out your dreams.
He called the Sun ‘Hero’,
believed it had six pairs of arms,
giant wings of flame
and the handsomest nose in the galaxy.
Made moons blush
Friday 17th December 2010 1:38 pm