Poetry Blogs (Anxiety)
Brian Maryon on (1 hour ago)
Speaking can feel like your swallowing
So, you may as well swallow instead
Or it’s giving,
Giving and giving
Fingers down your throat,
Will I be stronger tomorrow?
Or just hollow tomorrow?
So, you end up filling up on someone else’s dictionary
I am disarmed without my language
But my language is disarming
Words do break your bones
Saturday 2nd November 2019 3:40 pm
We Had a Big Argument Because of Continuing Problems Related to My Mental Illness and I Did Not Have Time to Take a Shower, I Love You and I am Sorry
I am itchy
My scalp is itchy
I cannot stand how itchy it is
My whole body smells
I cannot stand how smelly it is
I feel slimy
My feet and groin feel slimy
I cannot stand how slimy I feel
It is my fault
The whole situation is my fault
I cannot stand how this is my entire fault
I made you upset
I continue to make you upset
I cannot stand how I f...
Wednesday 16th October 2019 1:58 pm
I am a battering ram
Undulating forward with a willful lack of grace
Constantly pushing, pulsing
Headlong into an uncertain oblivion
Taking pleasure in the pain
Destroying what once was beautiful
Tuesday 15th October 2019 4:25 pm
its tail around my neck
its name is
Saturday 12th October 2019 8:16 am
Therapy’s been fine but it’s not fixing my problems.
Each week talking about something new, but we never actually solve them.
Mr. Joyce tells me I need to let my emotions pass through me.
But my emotions make me who I am, so I know I need to disagree.
My identity has always been important and, honestly, I identify as depressed.
That as well as anxious, lost, and always stress...
Sunday 29th September 2019 3:02 pm
The master behind my own downfall,
A slave to my eerie thoughts.
Wondering if I can break free and stand tall.
The side they never talk about in sports.
The minds weathered to achieve anything,
But fear clouds my whole being.
Disappointment builds up and the storm starts readying,
Now caught up in the cyclone of my own cynical thinking.
Saturday 28th September 2019 9:06 pm
In that book, Nausea, Jean-Paul Sartre’s
Antoine Roquentin gets kind of freaked
Out just looking at the root of a chestnut tree.
I thought it was pretty weird at first,
Because how can you get through life
If you freak out every time you see a
Tree root or some fool thing like a tree root?
You couldn’t go on, could you? It’d just be
One crisis after another until you went
Insane and did...
Saturday 28th September 2019 7:06 am
I carry a kettle in my head
And I'm turning up the heat.
Turning up the pressure,
self doubt, and insecurities.
Tumultuous clouds forming
High tension that won't subside.
I'm the one who's created
the storm raging inside.
Tuesday 27th August 2019 7:20 am
I'm sorry for inviting myself I just wanted to spend more time with you
And if I'm in your way I'll stand in the corner and wait for you
Now I'm sorry to be a bother but do you think I can have some water
To wash away my insecurities but I know you'll give them back to me
I don't know what you want from me but I just want your company
Find what you're looking for and take it all from me
Wednesday 21st August 2019 1:45 pm
Searching for you
You’re the word
On the tip of my tongue
- tip - tip – tick – tock
You’re the face on my clock
You’re the catch in my breath
Like if I was to cough
Words of you
Would just tumble out
Like if I was to shout
Words of you
Would just rumble out
You’re built into my skull
You’re the clutch over my brain
You’re running through my veins...
Monday 1st July 2019 1:27 pm
Nervous wreck In self defense
saying you feel the water up to your neck
all the things you can’t forget
washed up memories of what’s left
burning in the fire to resurrect in the flesh anxious cigarette breathe
never mind the burning in my chest
Sunday 7th April 2019 4:06 am
As I took a breath, this morning
I wondered what it'd be
To be a body without life
and a body without feel
What feels like such a trauma
is also a reason to live
Cuz this is how we learn to fly after a fall
and how we dare to dare
I've known a lot of stories
and eyes that would tell more tales
But not every soul would speak up
nor every silence would stay put
I longed to take a step fo...
Friday 22nd March 2019 9:09 am
When you start to see the bottom
Of those leering orange bottles
Threats of existance are especially bleak
Vertigo next to prostration
Electric synapse undulations
All the retching is leaving me weak
Ceaseless verge of trickling tears
Insignificance from past 6 years
Squatting rent free inside the mind
Over social reservations
Dependence on ties that we bi...
Friday 22nd February 2019 8:33 pm