Poetry Blogs (Anxiety)

Speaking can feel like your swallowing

So, you may as well swallow instead

Or it’s giving,

Giving and giving

Fingers down your throat,

Retching

Searching for…

Will I be stronger tomorrow?

Or just hollow tomorrow?

So, you end up filling up on someone else’s dictionary

I am disarmed without my language

But my language is disarming

Words do break your bones

Voca...

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I am itchy

My scalp is itchy

I cannot stand how itchy it is

I smell

My whole body smells

I cannot stand how smelly it is

I feel slimy

My feet and groin feel slimy

I cannot stand how slimy I feel

It is my fault

The whole situation is my fault

I cannot stand how this is my entire fault

I made you upset

I continue to make you upset

I cannot stand how I f...

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Capricorn

I am a battering ram

Undulating forward with a willful lack of grace

Constantly pushing, pulsing

Headlong into an uncertain oblivion

Destroying myself

Taking pleasure in the pain

The anxiety

Destroying what once was beautiful

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the cobra

                  w

                      r

                        a

                     p

                 s

                    its tail around my neck

its name is

                     anxiety.

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Therapy’s been fine but it’s not fixing my problems.


Each week talking about something new, but we never actually solve them.

Mr. Joyce tells me I need to let my emotions pass through me.


But my emotions make me who I am, so I know I need to disagree.

My identity has always been important and, honestly, I identify as depressed.

That as well as anxious, lost, and always stress...

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The master behind my own downfall,

A slave to my eerie thoughts.

Wondering if I can break free and stand tall. 

The side they never talk about in sports. 

The minds weathered to achieve anything, 

But fear clouds my whole being.

Disappointment builds up and the storm starts readying, 

Now caught up in the cyclone of my own cynical thinking.

https://www.tumblr...

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In that book, Nausea, Jean-Paul Sartre’s
Antoine Roquentin gets kind of freaked
Out just looking at the root of a chestnut tree.
I thought it was pretty weird at first,
Because how can you get through life
If you freak out every time you see a
Tree root or some fool thing like a tree root?

You couldn’t go on, could you? It’d just be
One crisis after another until you went
Insane and did...

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I carry a kettle in my head

And I'm turning up the heat.

Turning up the pressure,

self doubt, and insecurities.

Tumultuous clouds forming 

High tension that won't subside.

I'm the one who's created 

the storm raging inside.

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I'm sorry for inviting myself I just wanted to spend more time with you
And if I'm in your way I'll stand in the corner and wait for you

Now I'm sorry to be a bother but do you think I can have some water
To wash away my insecurities but I know you'll give them back to me

I don't know what you want from me but I just want your company
Find what you're looking for and take it all from me

Walk...

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Searching for you

You’re the word

On the tip of my tongue

- tip - tip – tick – tock

You’re the face on my clock

Yes!

You’re the catch in my breath

Like if I was to cough

Words of you

Would just tumble out

Like if I was to shout

Words of you

Would just rumble out

You’re built into my skull

You’re the clutch over my brain

You’re running through my veins

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Nervous wreck In self defense 

saying you feel the water up to your neck 

all the things you can’t forget 

washed up memories of what’s left

burning in the fire to resurrect in the flesh anxious cigarette breathe

never mind the burning in my chest

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As I took a breath, this morning
I wondered what it'd be
To be a body without life
and a body without feel

What feels like such a trauma
is also a reason to live
Cuz this is how we learn to fly after a fall
and how we dare to dare

I've known a lot of stories
and eyes that would tell more tales
But not every soul would speak up
nor every silence would stay put

I longed to take a step fo...

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When you start to see the bottom 
Of those leering orange bottles
Threats of existance are especially bleak

Vertigo next to prostration 
Electric synapse undulations 
All the retching is leaving me weak 

Ceaseless verge of trickling tears
Insignificance from past 6 years
Squatting rent free inside the mind

Heart palpitations 
Over social reservations 
Dependence on ties that we bi...

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Just when it looks like

I'm making progress,

  I fumble

an hour and             start to         sp  lit 

                                                   (just like that)

and the other                                half

turns pretty                                      ugly

very fast. 

Then it's me vs.                          me

all weekend.

      ...

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