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Georgia, when submitting digital driver's license pictures

Please wear clothes when due

The word mirror should be the only time

We use phrase, rear view

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humorfunnyshortnews

Heyday

On those days when the news was slow,

Editors of a bygone age

Would hold the paper’s front page till

A tasty story reared its head.

You needed nerves of steel to bet

On beating deadlines with a splash:

A murder or a bank held up,

A bishop, caught in flagrante.

It was what the public wanted:

Big pictures, tearful confessions,

Have-a-go heroes, raffish cads,

Embitter...

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News

Even Old Fools Get The Blues

we used to walk in the canyon

talk of a future that never came

gasping at the beauty round us

Selina was one hell of a dame

 

its a movie playing in my head

just pictures without the sound

a neck-lace of images inside a

cold tomb on hallowed ground

 

called to New York for a movie

turned your head with ambition

left me doubting your standing

fearing you inten...

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bluesfoolsambitionnewsautopsymoviestardomashes

Growing

On hearing the latest study from RHS on how effective gardening is for boosting your physical & mental health....

 

A boost for the body

A balm for the soul

Go grab your shovel

Take up your trowl

Dig up your past

Remove all the weeds

Moving on fast

By planting new seeds

Reach for the sun

As you grow 

Your success

New life has begun

A gardener is blessed

...

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newshealthnature

November 2020

A plane crashing that never seems to hit the ground to explode

into pieces.  A frozen moment in time.

Distraught, but then cleansed.

Broken again, only to mend.

Our lives - a computer graphic having a glitch,

repetition of the same sold narrative,

and then static.

Fading out with no soft cushion for landing.

Volume being culled.

A big brother house of Covid guest stars.

...

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Covid lockdownUncertain timesNews

Coronamas

On hearing we should start getting excited about Christmas now

 

Santa's bringing tissues

Santa's bringing masks

Santa's bringing I Miss You cards

Bulging from

His sack

This year he's got less reindeers

In his festive bubble

Cos if they spread the virus

We're in for worldwide 

Trouble

Angel's there all distanced

Right at the top 

Of the tree

So build up...

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earlychristmasnews

Good news, bad news, your telephone calls.

When I sit down to day dream in the wishing well of life,

it calls

“Madeleine McCann: German prisoner identified as suspect”

When I write on my laptop,

it calls

“Premier League: Clubs to meet to discuss premature finish options”

When I lift a cup to my lips,

it calls

“Rather cloudy with showers for most, but some bright or sunny spells too. Cool and breezy”

When I muse a...

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TelephoneCommunicationsnewsmobile phonescell phones

New Normal

Gone in a glimpse

That life you once knew

Convinced it's a nightmare

"This can't be true"

Then keeper of dreams

Declares

"You're Awake"

You cry " It's not real

Must be a mistake! "

But weeks became weirder

Hair growing long

Some of those beards

Are seriously wrong

No more

Are the handshakes

There's limited hugs

We're all masked up now

Not just the...

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FunnySeriousNews

The "Tourons" Great Day Out

Touron........A tourist who unfortunately also happens to be a moron!

 

The “Tourons” made up a picnic of all their favourite food and drink,

they brought along everything from home except the kitchen sink.

Bags bursting with goodies, enough to see them through the day,

but they left behind the empty packaging for others to throw away.

 

So much effort taken to pack everything...

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newsrubbishlittercountrysidebeach

It is Rubbish

 

It really is so rubbish, to see all the rubbish

left in parks, on the beaches and everywhere

What gives people the right to think it is right

to leave it behind without consideration or care

 

I just do not understand people who leave litter behind

I just can not comprehend what goes on in their minds

 

The “Tourons” made up a picnic of all their favourite food and dri...

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newsrubbishTourons

Battles with broken shields

Invisible blindfolds

Are what we're now wearing

Law of the land

Almost past caring

At a crossroads we stand

Courageous but frightened

All of our senses

Incredibly heightened

Take care of yourself

Make your own choice

Never ignore

Your own inner voice

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Uncertain timesNews

Human

Some like to wear black

It makes them look slim

Yet want to attack

When it's colour of skin

They go on their travels

Wanting a tan

To be naturally brown

Is to sometimes feel banned

All hearts beat the same

Whatever the race

All tears still run clear

As they fall 

From a face

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NewsHumanity

Behind The Mask

Muffled speech

Behind a cloth

How she wished

He could take it off

Though his voice

Not clearly heard

Instead his eyes

Spoke every word

Little creases

Revealed a smile

Undefeated by

Life's new style

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FacemaskNewsKeepSmiling

The "Corona" Special

So we all know this is bullshit, this thing called Corona Virus,

My friends and I don't wear masks and now people won't stand beside us,

Damn it's crazy that people still watch the news,

All they do is lie and it's owned by the Jews,

That doesn't make me a racist so please just relax,

Just look up the definitions and make sure you know your facts,

Can't you see this virus is one ...

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americabrainwashingconspiracyCorona viruscorruptiongovernmentlieslock downmedianewspropagandatruthtyranny

Spring!

​​​​​​Call the trade descriptions police...we've been sold the wrong spring this year!!!!

 

Like a metal coil

Compressed

In a tense, uncertain

Rest

And when the pressure is

Released

Many mere mortals, by then

Deceased

They thought that

Spring

Was daffodils

Now life has fallen

Almost still

Invisible, silent, viral

Attack

The question is

Do we 

...

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SpringCorona virusNews

Earthling Evacuation

Maybe moving to mars is the only way to escape the virus!

Fingerprints of the sun

Upon the face of mars

New life has just begun

Way beyond the stars!

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Life on MarsEscapeNews

Friday 13th just got serious

It's usually the day

To steer clear of ladders

Blacks cats

If only they'd avoided

Those random 

Flying bats

Nobody really understands 

Exactly what we should do

Just got to keep

Washing our hands

Buying extra roll

For the loo

Good luck and

Hand sanitiser

Both in such short supply

Borris seems none the wiser

So do your best and

Try not to die

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Freaky FridayNews

Artists & Critics

She doesn’t sing to win awards,

she sings to breathe life to her soul,

connect with spirits tuning in,

let them know they are not forgotten. 

 

She knows she will have critics

that judge her art lacking. 

Their negativity is nothing she hasn’t

overcome from herself a million times

on her rocky road to freedom.

 

She smiles as the ivory tickles her left palm,

sur...

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artistsconfidencecriticslifemusicnewspassionpeacesoulunity

Sussexit

Ordinary people

(With titles)

To them

Their freedom

Was vital

So nice

Then turned 

Mean

When they

Let down

The Queen

Now off

On their

Bike

They have 

Cycled!

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News

Pizza

It's not working

In Woking

Serving 

Deep fake pizza

Do they 

Deliver

Liver salts?

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News

Gaming Addiction

On hearing that the NHS are setting up new clinics for teenagers who are addicted to playing games online

N H Chess....

A different

Game to play

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Newschessgames

Maui on my mind

A little farewell to a package holiday company

 

A paradise trip

I was trying 

To find

A place

Like Maui

Was on 

My mind

Beautiful beaches

Rolling waves

Then

Mr Cook

Took the

Money

I'd saved

 

 

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News

Mixed Messages

It was reported in the news a few weeks ago that those people who use more emojis than words are sexier, going on more dates etc....

 

 

Him-You don't need to read this

I don't have to speak

Let me just send emojis

To make your knees weak

Showering you daily

With heart shaped kisses

Showing I'm the one

To fulfil 

All your wishes

I'm being so romantic

Never ob...

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Poetry jokesNews

Letting off steam

A Local Earthquake Today Inspired Me...

 

Fracking caused the earthquake

Lacking caused their heartbreak

The Magnitude of their

Solitude

Hit the Richter scale

Yet molten heat's

Release

Showed more

To them

They still made

The earth move

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Newsfunnyseriousrelationships

Giraffe

I heard that Giraffes have been protected from being slaughtered for their body parts for the first time this week....So a celebratory poem

 

It's Wonderful to have 

A long neck

It reaches up

To the sky

I can nibble leaves 

On treetops

And smile at

Birds

As they

Fly by

It's just

Great 

Having this

Long neck

I can see

For Miles around

I always k...

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Animalswildlifenaturenews

Contusion Blues

Have I caught a cold?
I can feel it in my bones
this hollow sense that I can’t shake
when I gauge the current state

Newspaper, newspaper
you’re not paper anymore
and it’s not news
just the inevitable unfolding
an unstoppable rolling
towards flag waving
a dismantling, dividing
dis-united kingdom

This news, this news
gives me contusion blues…

Politics is broken, democracy’s a jok...

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bleakcolddemocracymodern lifenewspoliticssicknessukus

Perception

What if the hyperreal really isn’t real,

And the news never happened?

 

Our perceptions are just pixels, photons,

Bits and bytes scattered on a screen.

 

Gods and monsters both just

Misapprehensions of a troubled mind.

 

But whose mind is responsible for

The anxiety provoking representation?

 

Surely some eternal consciousness

Has not conspired to create in y...

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poempoetryconsciousnesshyperrealnewsrealityephemera

The Almost Child

I remember exactly the spot

the place I sat

when she told me

I remember the cooling coffee

forgotten

when I was told

I remember the uncertainty

in her voice

when she told me

but

I remember how I smiled

the joy I felt

when I first knew

my almost son

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Babiessonspregnancyparentsmothersfathersnewsjoydelight

And Now The Weather

And Now The Weather

 

Rain drops smudge the inky page,

snowflakes on the talk shows,

the sun bakes hard the daily news.

That’s the way the wind blows.

 

Lightning strikes the gossip columns,

thunder rustles print rows,

All Hail the brave reporters.

That’s the way the wind blows.

 

Sleet and mizzle obscure truth,

pressure builds in highs and lows

from dull ...

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common sensenanny statenewspriorityreportingweather

This Is The News

This Is The News

 

You know that there are statistics

waiting to be displayed

when a BBC reporter

stands to the left of a brick wall -

and when the report’s about finance

and they’re stood out in the rain,

you know they’re going to make a pun

about saving for a rainy day.

 

When did the news become a vehicle

for cheap shots and sound-bites?

Where young report...

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newsnews reportingliescelebrityfake newsnone newsreporters

Today's News Game

Today’s News Game

 

The woman who read the news smiled

and got excited by the prospect

of what was to come.

 

He proudly watched over

the seeds that he had sewn

in the name of his culture.

 

She said

“Don’t point that thing at me,

I had enough of it last time”.

 

They watched on with blank faces

and clapped in the right places

and some were secretly ...

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newsroyal babynorth korearocketsickexpensive

Revelation

The shock was solid as a punch

That left me breathless, faint, unmanned;

So obviously lost that chair and water came

And it was I – so very briefly – nursed

Until my mind began to grasp the truth it had shunned.

 

How could I not have guessed or known

The woe, the pain, the destruction?

After all these many years, my failure to feel –

My hiding from the very possibility ...

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Lossnewsrevelationillness

Circles

the world awakes most mornings
and the news is always black
the newsreader is commenting
on another violent attack
another poor soul's been murdered
in search of another cause
it's always religion or politics
that starts the numerous wars
all in the name of religion
it makes my blood run cold
how can people do this?
how can they be so bold
spouting ideologies
they never seem to pause
...

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Newspoliticsreligion

Better for my soul

Days have gone till I've felt something strange,
would I feel like that again?
Will my life be with the sweetness I haven't known yet?
One can do so much,
one can feel too much.
I admit I ache for something,
something unknown.
One thing is for certain,
I might feel it again.
Might not be the same, 
maybe more...
Better of this ache,
better for my soul.

-G.N.D. 

    

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real liferomancelovenews

The Chocolate Poetry Club

I am delighted to take up the position of poet in residence at The Chocolate Poetry Club in London. It is exciting to be part of what is happening in Camberwell, which I know will be bubbling over and beyond. Many thanks to all Chocolate Poetry lovers and to Paul for believing. xxx
 

Hello friends of CPC,

Over the next few months we will be makin...

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chocolatepoetrynews

FoxNewsFact

Fox News got an expert in

to tell them about terror

he said he had some beans to spill

and then he made this error

if you ever needed evidence

his analysis is cracked

he told them Birmingham’s gone Muslim

it’s a #foxnewsfact

 

he’s seen the Mecca Bingo halls

and put two and two together

then come up with 5, or 39,

he’s really not that clever

he thinks Aston’s...

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fox newsbirminghamnewscomedyislamwest midlands.

The Communications Trilogy Pt:1 Television

Hi everybody

 So I have written a trilogy of poems based on the subject of communication. I have rather inventively decided to call them The Communications Trilogy.

 The first on the Trilogy is Television, whilst I am someone who is generally pessimistic about the media and government and don't really believe a word of what we are told, I do suffer from a subconscious paranoia. Beaten i...

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ParanoiaTelevisionnewsmediacrime

Worldwide News

 

Default in Greece,

In Iceland – peace,

Protests in England,

Evacuation plans in Scotland,

Brace’s bakery success in Wales,

In The Sun read the details.

Italy is under water,

In Twee Ribiere it’s getting hotter.

Riot is in the USA on Wall Street,

Moscow is in the sleet.

Soon or right on time for Christmas shopping?

Asked King of Prussia,

Coll...

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