Wonka land 

Have you seen the land of chocolate 

Just £35 from your own wallet 

Promises of wonkas factory delight

But actually it’s a cooperate warehouse of shite 

Ompa lumpars are large not tiny 

I look and stare and think christ almighty. 

Is it not Wonkaland? but another place 

As I think of an excuse to this disgrace

Willy Wonkas now here and he’s complete dick 

To be honest hes better than Ant or Dec 

There’s a witch or dementor behind a screen 

But all my kids produced was a silent scream.

Was this a dream that Scotland could deliver 

Or should it just sail down a human chocolate river