Funny (Remove filter)
A Dog And A Frog On A Spoon
a dog and a frog
who stood on a spoon
and went round the town
in their dressing gown
said the dog to the frog
oh lets spoon to the moon
so they jumped up and down
and the spoon left the ground
look look oh look at the moon
how truly exciting said the dog
spoon spoon we went on a spoon
would you believe it said the frog
to the moon to the moon
t...
Sunday 20th October 2024 7:17 am
Old Woodbeard
argh
the wooden pirate
with a real leg
‘pon his left shoulder
not a parrot but a peg
argh
his ship inverted
sailed ‘neath the wave
and in his treasure chest
was a craggy cave
argh
he roared with rum
empty barrels were full
his flag was white
black bones and skull
argh
the flag though ripped
caught on his hook
but not for a hand
...Friday 18th October 2024 8:29 am
Darn Owl Not Barn Owl
I swallowed an owl
I didn’t mean too
it flew in when my mouth was open
as I stood admiring a flowery garden
its feathers tickled making me cough
and scoff
a lot
panic and shout
and a little while later
then the darn thing flew out!
Thursday 17th October 2024 7:26 am
The Crazy World Of The Fruit And Veg Folk
mr onion with his mad mad hair
miss pepper with her smoothen skin
mrs lemon looking so so fair
master cauliflower’s complexion
the long long nose of sir carrot
the red red face of dame tomato
the velvet touch of lady apricot
the rustic charm of lord potato
father pumpkin’s autumn face
grandma asparagus’ spring fingers
mother strawberry’s summer grace
gran...
Tuesday 15th October 2024 7:23 am
To Sea You See
I packed my worth on a dinner plate
and walked afar out to sea
you see
I reached an odd little island
shaped like a banana and pea
you see
I met a blue polka dot creature
with a hot pot of honey and tea
you see
I was poured a mug and we talked
such a charming and wise pigmy
you see
I realised the hour was late
better get back to home said ...
Monday 14th October 2024 2:51 pm
Ostrich Learning To Swim
an ostrich learning to swim in the sea
his neck like a stick floating vertically
swirling and rounding
and bobbing a wave
an invisible hand stirs a big cup of tea
Sunday 13th October 2024 9:45 am
Shrew In A Shoe
o shrew in a shoe
shoo shoo
but he wouldn’t go
chew through the shoe
shoo shoo
chewed from heel to toe
nurse a poor tum
shoo shoo
he belched and was ill
greedy old shrew
shoo shoo
you’ve eaten your fill
find a new home
shoo shoo
one you can’t chew
its pair you jump to
shoo shoo
o shrew in a shoe
Monday 7th October 2024 7:26 am
Old Bazzam - The Gallu-Gallu Ghost
begroan the ghoul who floots the floor
it sidles wodely rombles
and seen by some who vallacate
the hotel rooms it froodles
midnight is the time they say
the gallu-gallu grumbles
shrumbling in the corridors
and shrooning down the stairalls
intriguers flock from far and foyle
to witness Old Bazzam
and stay a night at their behowl
to see the ghoul then scram
...Sunday 6th October 2024 11:04 am
Something Oddly Familiar About This Nonsense
“Abe, easy Dee, effigy, eight chives, Jake, ale, Em,
any hope, peak you, arrest a ewe, feed other ewe”
ex-wife said
she certainly SPELT it out!
he then went on to reCOUNT
“When, too, furry forks, fave socks sieving, eat known tin”
and there was something oddly familiar about it all
when ex-husband and ...
Saturday 5th October 2024 7:33 am
Lists
there's something intrinsically poetic about lists…
1.
bread (wholemeal)
twelve eggs
solar panels
occasional frogs
corporate lawyers
steam
2.
onions (red)
tomatoes (finely chopped)
garlic (four cloves)
fireman's ladder (aluminium)
disparity (secretly hidden)
mildness (abundant)
gluttony (almost definite)
mozzarella (abridged)
3.
clean sink
dirty sink
point un-necessar...
Friday 4th October 2024 7:18 am
The Bug Chronicles - A Field Guide To Creepy Crawlies
the spider
he, with cotton in his bottom
for the silken manufacture
dressing flies he likes to capture
in the evening wear for dinner
oh the spider, what a spinner
the wasp
he, with a pin for a sting
and the flailing arms he causes
people run like wild horses
from their summer barbecues
oh the wasp, such afternoons
the ant
he, having friends in the thousands
how the picnic blanke...
Thursday 3rd October 2024 6:56 am
The Ravenous Witch
the ravenous witch
famished with greed
tummied and toothed
in scoops could she eat
pickles and pockles
and piggy trough trays
gorging, gullooging
and munching for days
she went picking parcels
and morsels of stuff
jiggleberries, hockleberries
but never enough
apples and hopples
pebbles and pears
the horribliest fruit
even one covered in h...
Wednesday 2nd October 2024 7:02 am
Gulp! What Did You Swallow?
gulp!
ahurr ahurr ahurr
“I swallowed a cricketer”
he shouted with a cough
but, we asked, in a joking scoff
“do you not mean a cricket?”
then to our amazement
and in the very next minute
he regurgitated a bat!
which promptly flew back to its cave
and that, it seems, was that
Monday 30th September 2024 7:10 am
At At
there is a place at at at
it is by by by
which is near near near
not too far from from from
you can get there via via via
and to be honest it is nice to stay at at at
it’s up to you really
but if you do stay at at at
you might visit visit visit
from there go to to to
then, if time, see see see
not so scenic as as as
reminded me of of of
but again it’s up...
Sunday 29th September 2024 7:16 am
The Parrot Cooked A Dinner
the parrot cooked a dinner
the dinner he cooked was a carrot
when the swan burst into song
and the thrush told him to hush
the starling asked for more food
more food he asked for starving
when the owl then sang out loud
and the crow told him to go
so a meal of interruption
ruined this fine carrot luncheon
then all was quiet, nothing heard
u...
Friday 27th September 2024 7:12 am
The Donkey Set The Table
the donkey set the table
but the table set was wonky
when the crane brought the game
and the mice brought the dice
the horses cooked the food
and the food they cooked in courses
the deer brought the beer
and the koala brought the cola
so an evening full of fun
promised fun for all the evening
then the tiger turned up later
but unfortunately...
Thursday 26th September 2024 7:29 am
The Jingly Jib
you know he’s a Jib
the way you can tell
he jingles and jingles
like a jingly bell
but sometimes their jingle
mysteriously goes
then Jibs cry all day
and why, nobody knows
being a Jib
can often be tough
expected to jingle
and jingle with love
then on the days
where love is not felt
Jibs lose their jingle
and Jibs will then wilt
so...
Wednesday 25th September 2024 7:23 am
The Hapless Toad
the hapless toad
who croaked a verse
and moved the trees around him
did sway the branches
sway the leaves
at the most profound of meaning
and too did cry
the birds above
at so beautiful a stanza
and soon to history
rose the toad
recited oft' thereafter
Tuesday 24th September 2024 7:42 am
oo's
noop
boo troon
frooing soon
noop
too woon
drooing hoon
noop
shoo shoo
oon
Monday 23rd September 2024 7:15 am
Uncle Ned, Fung And Poke
Dong was a song
that Fung the dog sung
Moke was a joke
that Poke the pig spoke
the Ked, a book that was read
is what Uncle Ned said
so Uncle Ned
his dog Fung
and his pig Poke
did Dong and did Moke
for the Ked that they wrote
Sunday 22nd September 2024 9:49 am
Hey Ho Does An Octopus Know
hey ho
does an octopus know
how to juggle with eight cups and saucers
and the fish watching him
while the elephants swim
then he juggles with a turtle and tortoise
then ho hey
does the octopus say
I can do this all day round in circles
but an ache in my arm
in my arm, in my arm
and so on through all eight tentacles
so hey ho
let the octopus go
...
Saturday 21st September 2024 9:29 am
Packedy-Pack I’m Packing
I went on holiday
so I thought I’d pack
I put in my head
I’d be needing that
I packed my arm
because where’s the harm
so too my toes
not forgetting my face
oh, my other arm too
went into the case
better take my legs and feet
they’re important indeed
I added my hips
and my ‘you know what’
well you never know
I might need it or not
...
Saturday 13th July 2024 10:14 am
Road Rage
The bike are riding two by two
Hurrah hurrah
The bikes are riding two by two
Hurrah hurrah
The bikes are riding two by two
It’s the Highway Code, but I own the road
So Ill just keep driving on
The bikes are now riding three by three
Oh shite oh shite
The bikes are now riding three by three
Oh shite oh shite
The bikes are riding three by three
As ...
Tuesday 5th March 2024 11:01 am
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