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;

I try, try, try as I might,
But every time I use a semi-colon;
There's a 10% chance of it being right. 

(How did I do?)

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Funny

PASTIMES

Yes, a mandatory retirement age in Congress

I believe it's time has arrived

We will base the age on FDR's fireside chat

And if you heard the broadcast live

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funnyshorthumorhistorycurrent news

IT'S THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT

The earth's temperature will increase 1 degree this century

For climatologists this is the sum of all their fears

It was 15 to 18 degrees hotter on earth for the dinosaurs

Then again, they only lasted 200 million years

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shortfunnyhumorscience

TRIPPED UP

Made arrangements to go away for my anniversary

Which then did render a thought

Does my wife really enjoy vacationing with me

Or am I her last resort

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funnyshorthumorfeelingsthoughts

AN OLD FRIEND

At age 80 Harrison Ford makes another adventure movie

I guess the storyline is acceptable

Although, Indiana Jones can now only enter caves

If they are handicap accessible

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shortfunnyhumormovieshollywood

STOP SIGN

Georgia, when submitting digital driver's license pictures

Please wear clothes when due

The word mirror should be the only time

We use phrase, rear view

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humorfunnyshortnews

HARD TO KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT

Displayed on my dentist office wall, "A smile is a whisper of a laugh"

I quietly sit there in intending doom

It is meant to be a soothing thought

While screaming seeping from another room

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Shortfunnyhumoremotions

SIT STAY REST

Bobi the oldest dog in the world just turned 31

Still his favorite thing to do is to ride in the car

Also loves to bark at children to get off his lawn

And he'll fetch bones if he remembers where they are

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humorshortfunnydogs

OVER THE HUMP

Great Britain has a terrible squirrel problem

Now animal control blames budget cuts

British scientists working on a contraceptive pill

Since trying to neuter them, is just nuts

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shortfunnyhumoranimals

ATE FEET AWAY

Did you know that octopus can run on land like a cat

Now I know people like their taste

But what ablout betting on them in a speed contest

Now that is a real arms race

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humorfunnyshort

ROUND-UP

The Flat Earth Society is looking to grow in popularity

Althouigh their ideas you may scoff

Going to the ends of the earth to find supporters

Since membership has fallen off

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FunnyShortHumor

NOTHING TO SNEEZE AT

Unfortunately, there is a large doctor shortage

New medical students, just not there

Especially proctology, gynecology, ears, nose and throat

There are several openings here

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shorthumorfunny

Tuning Fork

I lay the knives, sharp, on the table, flat. 
Notes of cinnamon and spices should keep the tempo light,
As I conduct the kitchen, for my dinner party tonight. 

 

Knock knock, they melodically rap upon the door,
I go to greet my fine guests, yet moments before,
I turn back from the handle, for I'm not so sure,
Which of the four seasons should delight my decor?

 

To choose only one,...

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light-heartedMusicfunny

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