All I asked and from my heart
was to give my children the best possible start
You are not a mother unless you experience guilt and the need to be better
To do this I need to get better
I try to seem brave and tough
But inside crumbling like I'm not enough
I love them deeply my heart it aches
Filling the cracks of past mistakes
Angels help me I'm lost my boys need me you see
Help me be the...
Wednesday 3rd February 2021 3:36 am
When you’re born in the shadow of a mountain
You know the warmth of the darkest of shade
You know nothing will ever rise above that mountain
In whose image and shadow you were made
When cast in the shadow of a mountain
Your caste can feel defined before birth
Your path may seem predestined and written
As your feet struggle to impress in the earth
But there’s a com...
Wednesday 10th April 2019 8:26 pm
I remember exactly the spot
the place I sat
when she told me
I remember the cooling coffee
when I was told
I remember the uncertainty
in her voice
when she told me
I remember how I smiled
the joy I felt
when I first knew
my almost son
Monday 12th November 2018 12:16 pm
This old farm cottage of mine
keeps all my years safe
for it knows my secret ways
There are shadows in the shadows
but in some rooms
my sons have hidden smiles
to lead me in
There is more solitude indoors
but here and there
she has retained a past caress
to warm me
The old mirror we found at market
still retains her ghost
Tuesday 16th January 2018 4:05 pm
Were you not my watch tower, erect above the chalky cliff
Stone guardian against all, high over the rough tides of my youth?
Was yours not the bastion, planted secure on the high turf:
Whose high walls embraced us and protected?
But that was then, now I am the ascended man -
Now I do not see your turrets from my farther shore
Black waves broke on your defences, your mortar crumbl...
Sunday 10th December 2017 4:05 pm
no man should know
no child should hear:
to be spared.
as he sat with his sons at home
and struggled to find
she will never return to us
she is too ill
In a time when she was strong
as her body weake...
Wednesday 20th September 2017 3:36 pm
Who knew such joy before they were born
Who knew the joy they'd bring
As an only child no knowledge of this sibling thing
But life with my two boys became my greatest experience
Brought me endless days of pure joy
They're so close, so different, so very much alike, the very best of friends
My best times ever are when we're all together
Just sitting, eating and chatting, natu...
Thursday 3rd August 2017 7:36 pm
When Merle died it was a sorry affair.
After hating us all her life
she wanted to be close with us in the end.
Lol, who had always seen the good in her
brought her back to life briefly on the last day,
which had shown how much he meant to her I suppose.
But cats are only meant to last a certain amount of time-
less than what should be a life time,
more than some marr...
Wednesday 3rd August 2016 11:31 am