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Costa Lot

Costa Lot

 

Always complaining I have no money

Is not in the slightest a little bit funny

Spending sixty quid a month on a cup of coffee

Aroma wafting up my nose that’s a little bit toffee

 

A snob you say!  

 

That’s a little bit strong for a flat white guy

I say, It is up to me exactly just what I buy

Bloody scroungers, freezing outside the door

With me sat in...

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costa coffeehumorscroungerstoffs

GSOH

I would not say this heart is hungry
I dare not say this heart is heavy
I only know now, a surer sense of all I want
a clearer description of what will fire
the drive, the rush, the love in me

If we're not going out tonight
then can we just sit and giggle
at each other, at the TV, at the others
can she laugh with me, make fun of me
until we have tears in our eyes, can’t breathe

When ...

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gsohhumorhumourjokeslaughterlifelove

The Fine Guilt of Physics

Can starlight fathom the distance it has traveled?
Does it count the time in hours, parsecs, even knots?
If I turn on my DVD, will I thunder through the
Cosmos as another wave of noise until the hand
Of time comes to switch off the hearing-aid of God;
And then, even as the webs of interwoven disruption
Traverse the galactic heavens, the only ears to hear them
Will have been deafened by the ...

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guilthumorPhysicsScience

The Transcendentalist

So the scents of pre cornflake sex
And post energy drink breath
Pervades the carriage like a squid squadron infusion..

Acrid lemon bleach musk cologne
Tinkly-plink-thud beats effervesce from earphones
She leans arching on the glass pane knackered
Eye-liner Rothko remastered
Her groin marine satyr
Not so lucky a bastard
She receives a sext from another torpedo piece of spam with pecs
Nigh...

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humorhumorous poetryhumourlyricspost rockpost-rock poetrysatirical poetrySuki Spangles

Tycho (Deviationist Astronaut And The Zany Karmic Architect)

I'm rushing below the firmament in a submarine
Pulled up by balloons 
Rocket thrusters won't work in a vacuum
The torrid plasma liquid washes over the viewing screen
And the Hubble telescope cannot anywhere be seen
This periscope doesn't recognise the space handed to us it seems..

Am I floating beneath the epidermis of a prison planet scheme
I fear this is way beyond my theosophical steam
...

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humorhumorous poetryhumourlyricspost-rock poetryscience fictionscience fiction poetrySuki Spanglessurreal poetry

I Had To Write This Poem

I had to write this poem 
because I thought of this one great line,
What do you think -
will it stand the test of time?

Well, I had to write it down
to deter other poets stealing this idea;
You know lines are clutched from the atmosphere,
Or they fall like apples, spill over like beer.

I had to write this poem,
Because I thought of this one great line;
Like a beat messiah,
My acid milk ...

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humorhumorous poetryhumourlyricsperformance poetrypost-rock poetry

Duty Of Care - Extreme Combat

  Staff Notice  


Dear all
Please take this refresher advice as a friendly reminder
Of our protocol for calling in sick
Which is  

In the first instance call the shift supervisor
Inform them why you are unable to attend your shift
Be as clear as possible
The more information the better 
We don't need to hear a blues lyric
Only the truth
This information will of course remain co...

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humorhumorous poetryhumorous versehumourparody poetrypost rockpost rock poetrysatirical poetrySuki Spangleswork

In-Love Doggerel

You're a starship powered on Xanadu nectar;
I'm a pogo stick on coal.
You're a majestic arc of the milky way;
I'm a quark in an unsold cheese roll.
Your eyes launch songbirds and sonnets;
Come fly with me on my crackling comet.

Your hair evokes the erotic scents of perfumed night bazaars;
I exude burning tyres on torched, smashed deisel cars.
Beside you a pulsar is like a sorry matchstick ...

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humorhumourhunorous poetrylyricparody poetrypost rock poetrysatirical poetrySuki Spangles

Poem of the Week

(Inspired by Write Out Loud's discussion thread: Poem of the Week)

So
This week
It can be announced Gong-Ka-Bong
That this poem
Is Poem of the Week
Art 
Love
And a celebration of the communing with our etheric higher sense
Amen
So
Let us join together
And let the blood-letting commence

Observe the cowering bastards sit on the fence
Poets can be a vicious breed
Almost as obnoxiou...

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humorhumorous poetryhumourPoem of the weekpost-rock poetrysatirical poetrySuki Spangles

Forest Gate Mystery Train (Spoken Word)

https://youtu.be/Qov_y6PMrw8

I'm on the Forest Gate Mystery Train,
With my burgled geranium eyes.
I'm on the Forest Gate Mystery Train,
Sighing goldfish clock sardine spies.

Spammed atomic; trolleyed marine,
Frost-buckled arms glow margarine,
Slender dolls slalom offside knees,
Capsules backslide into the stalagmite City.

Tutankhamen consortia;
Shoulder-penguins soggy cadge the dappled...

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gonzo poetryhumorhumorous poetryhumourlyricspost rock poetrysatirical poetrysongSuki Spangles

I Am The World's First Selfie Poem

I am the world's first selfie poem,
Held aloft by the world's first selfie poem stick,
A look-at-me wordsmith pic,
Here I am fluttering beside Tower Bridge.

So here I pose on the left bank;
Here I'm by the Eiffel Tower,
Here I selfie seductively next to the shower.
Ignore the bidet -
Admire my framed parchment hanging above a plastic flower
pot.

Here I am analysed by a poet I barely know...

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humorhumorous versepost rock poetrysatirical poetryselfieSuki Spangles

Newton Fourth Law

The back and forth motion
Will produce a lotion!

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a record moment of happinesHumorLaw of motionPhysicsthe joyful occassions in life

I've Lost My Mind

Where did I put my mind?
This is going to drive me nuts!
I retraced my steps, back to front,
Checked my pockets... several times,

Looked around where I'd been outside,
And even rummaged through the garbage!
Where did I put my mind?
This is going to drive me nuts!

I've been everywhere thrice,
Even places I'm sure I never was,
And I've run out of places to search,
And, yet, it's nowhe...

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humorlight verserondel

F.U.C.K.

Forging of firmness in frail frigate

Unision is unlikely to happen

Cranky & cruel words spew at will

Kicking down walls of decency and etiquette

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happinesshumorLifepoetryspring

Poem: Dust (Humor)

entry picture

Those disembodied remnants,
Earthly remains of unknown souls,
are now assembled at my doorstep.
Having piqued my attention,
who are these unwelcome houseguests?
Loved ones or Nordic heroes
who were consumed in funeral pyres?
How old are these molecules
that have been forever scattered
during these past centuries?
Unwanted leftovers of human containers,
eaten by microscopic mites,
nibbl...

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breunigdusthumorpoetry

In Soviet Russia...

Aissur Teivos ni,

even the punchline is backwards.

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funnyhumorIn Soviet RussiaIn Soviet Russia gagIn Soviet Russia jokejokejokesjokinglaughterone linerpoetrysillySoviet Russiawitty

Deep Down Inside

entry picture

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deep down

inside,

I have

no pride.

 

Deep down

inside,

I've taken

the slide.

 

Deep down

inside,

my soul

the demons

 have fried.

 

Deep down

inside.

 

Shirley Smothers

 

 

I wrote this poem a few years ago. I wrote it to be bad on purpose.

Someone rec...

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Bad poetryhumorSilly

Fidelity

entry picture

 

Lemon brightness in my eyes

to warmer climes in winter he flies

it’s in his nature to choose his wife

instinctively choosing to mate for life

fidelity causes some men to flinch

they could learn a thing or two from

 

my finch

 

 

Photography by Lisa Milligan

 

 

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fidelityhumor

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