humor (Remove filter)
Ms. Hush Hush
Hush hush
She started it,
With her forefinger placed as a guard in front of her lips.
She forbids my laughter from unraveling,
Commanding me to remain focused.
She tells me about ghosts,
She wants to catch one,
Hoping to have a friend among them.
Hush hush
She starts to speak again,
Still with her forefinger guarding her lips,
A sign to forbid me from laughin...
Saturday 5th October 2024 2:01 pm
My Elixir
I will make an elixir now.
Will you ask me how?
It’s such a simple science!
A bottle of reliance,
Another one with love and peace,
One more of trust the love to increase.
I’ll mix all that with a magic spoon,
My elixir is going to be ready soon.
And…to complete this picture
I’ll sing a song to my mixture.
How will you take this elixir?
Five drops a day will be enough,
As it’s the stron...
Tuesday 21st May 2024 4:15 am
B'Jangled Tourette's
Bah ratcha tas contavalaz
you rase-neflapher’d wagicaud!
Condaver haufin polysnip!
I’ll tell you just where you can stick
your pi-calogin traginine!
You heard me right you doboline.
Go rosigate your dodgisnap
you traginated jollipap!
Xysnerf neflected nillidip!
Take that YOU LILLY ARKABLIP!
COE SNAZE I-CAVIN WAJALLAY!!
BI-ROPKI LISHNIF DOBIKAY!!!
FLANT-AG-LACATE...
Saturday 16th March 2024 10:29 am
PASTIMES
Yes, a mandatory retirement age in Congress
I believe it's time has arrived
We will base the age on FDR's fireside chat
And if you heard the broadcast live
Friday 28th July 2023 7:05 pm
IT'S THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT
The earth's temperature will increase 1 degree this century
For climatologists this is the sum of all their fears
It was 15 to 18 degrees hotter on earth for the dinosaurs
Then again, they only lasted 200 million years
Friday 21st July 2023 6:17 pm
TRIPPED UP
Made arrangements to go away for my anniversary
Which then did render a thought
Does my wife really enjoy vacationing with me
Or am I her last resort
Friday 16th June 2023 7:46 pm
AN OLD FRIEND
At age 80 Harrison Ford makes another adventure movie
I guess the storyline is acceptable
Although, Indiana Jones can now only enter caves
If they are handicap accessible
Thursday 8th June 2023 3:31 am
STOP SIGN
Georgia, when submitting digital driver's license pictures
Please wear clothes when due
The word mirror should be the only time
We use phrase, rear view
Wednesday 31st May 2023 7:00 pm
HARD TO KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT
Displayed on my dentist office wall, "A smile is a whisper of a laugh"
I quietly sit there in intending doom
It is meant to be a soothing thought
While screaming seeping from another room
Wednesday 24th May 2023 8:28 pm
SIT STAY REST
Bobi the oldest dog in the world just turned 31
Still his favorite thing to do is to ride in the car
Also loves to bark at children to get off his lawn
And he'll fetch bones if he remembers where they are
Thursday 18th May 2023 2:52 pm
OVER THE HUMP
Great Britain has a terrible squirrel problem
Now animal control blames budget cuts
British scientists working on a contraceptive pill
Since trying to neuter them, is just nuts
Wednesday 10th May 2023 8:19 pm
ATE FEET AWAY
Did you know that octopus can run on land like a cat
Now I know people like their taste
But what ablout betting on them in a speed contest
Now that is a real arms race
Wednesday 3rd May 2023 8:10 pm
ROUND-UP
The Flat Earth Society is looking to grow in popularity
Althouigh their ideas you may scoff
Going to the ends of the earth to find supporters
Since membership has fallen off
Friday 21st April 2023 2:51 pm
NOTHING TO SNEEZE AT
Unfortunately, there is a large doctor shortage
New medical students, just not there
Especially proctology, gynecology, ears, nose and throat
There are several openings here
Wednesday 19th April 2023 3:44 am
Hobo
*
He came into my life
with his fuzzy mustache clown smile,
sorry and happy at once
he was running, just running
down that road by himself,
singular --he seemed
bent on self-destruction
then he flashed his look at me
as I was driving home in my new car
at first, I didn't know what he was
it was raining, mucky, with poor visibility
he was matted thick with mud
but I saw those eyes,
...
Friday 12th February 2021 3:43 am
I wondered into the British Museum
I wondered into the British Museum
Accidentally.
I had no business being there.
“It is free admission,”
You reminded me.
“Free? There cannot be such thing.
When visitors enter artifacts
With their minds,
They carry pieces away
Like a colony of ants.
It is destruction
Invisible to the naked eye.
Envious, greedy visitors
Stealing a precious collection
With ...
Saturday 6th February 2021 10:21 pm
A Gorilla Wore A Tutu.......
A Gorilla wore a tutu,
while he baked a giant pie,
and watched a bright pink Cuckoo
doing backflips in the sky,
a Monkey stroked a Llama,
a Zebra drove a bus,
while eating three bananas
because one was not enough,
a hippo flipped a pancake,
while he watched tv,
then there came a flying Snake
dancing with a Bee!
Monday 18th May 2020 12:37 am
GSOH
I would not say this heart is hungry
I dare not say this heart is heavy
I only know now, a surer sense of all I want
a clearer description of what will fire
the drive, the rush, the love in me
If we're not going out tonight
then can we just sit and giggle
at each other, at the TV, at the others
can she laugh with me, make fun of me
until we have tears in our eyes, can’t breathe
When ...
Tuesday 26th June 2018 12:48 am
Diametrically Opposite Mentality
Mother
My son is late to night
A bit drunk
He may be staggering
In the dark.
God please return him back
Insulating him from thug's attack.
Wife
My husband is late to night
In a bar bewitched by enticing eyes
He may be inviting a tart for a dance!
Please devil throw him to hell
He is enjoying himself
Under a spell!//
About the author
Alem Hailu G/Kristos
In The V...
Thursday 19th April 2018 3:33 pm
The Fine Guilt of Physics
Can starlight fathom the distance it has traveled?
Does it count the time in hours, parsecs, even knots?
If I turn on my DVD, will I thunder through the
Cosmos as another wave of noise until the hand
Of time comes to switch off the hearing-aid of God;
And then, even as the webs of interwoven disruption
Traverse the galactic heavens, the only ears to hear them
Will have been deafened by the ...
Friday 13th January 2017 11:35 am
The Transcendentalist
So the scents of pre cornflake sex
And post energy drink breath
Pervades the carriage like a squid squadron infusion..
Acrid lemon bleach musk cologne
Tinkly-plink-thud beats effervesce from earphones
She leans arching on the glass pane knackered
Eye-liner Rothko remastered
Her groin marine satyr
Not so lucky a bastard
She receives a sext from another torpedo piece of spam with pecs
Ni...
Tuesday 27th September 2016 7:02 pm
Tycho (Deviationist Astronaut And The Zany Karmic Architect)
I'm rushing below the firmament in a submarine
Pulled up by balloons
Rocket thrusters won't work in a vacuum
The torrid plasma liquid washes over the viewing screen
And the Hubble telescope cannot anywhere be seen
This periscope doesn't recognise the space handed to us it seems..
Am I floating beneath the epidermis of a prison planet scheme
I fear this is way beyond my theosophical steam
...
Monday 29th August 2016 11:39 am
I Had To Write This Poem
I had to write this poem
because I thought of this one great line,
What do you think -
will it stand the test of time?
Well, I had to write it down
to deter other poets stealing this idea;
You know lines are clutched from the atmosphere,
Or they fall like apples, spill over like beer.
I had to write this poem,
Because I thought of this one great line;
Like a beat messiah,
My acid m...
Saturday 20th August 2016 4:03 pm
Duty Of Care - Extreme Combat
Dear all
Please take this refresher advice as a friendly reminder
Of our protocol for calling in sick
Which is
In the first instance call the shift supervisor
Inform them why you are unable to attend your shift
Be as clear as possible
The more information the better
We don't need to hear a blues lyric
Only the truth
This information will of course remain ...
Friday 12th August 2016 1:23 pm
In-Love Doggerel
You're a starship powered on Xanadu nectar;
I'm a pogo stick on coal.
You're a majestic arc of the milky way;
I'm a quark in an unsold cheese roll.
Your eyes launch songbirds and sonnets;
Come fly with me on my crackling comet.
Your hair evokes the erotic scents of perfumed night bazaars;
I exude burning tyres on torched, smashed deisel cars.
Beside you a pulsar is like a sorry matchstic...
Thursday 4th August 2016 8:30 am
Poem of the Week
(Inspired by Write Out Loud's discussion thread: Poem of the Week)
So
This week
It can be announced Gong-Ka-Bong
That this poem
Is Poem of the Week
Art
Love
And a celebration of the communing with our etheric higher sense
Amen
So
Let us join together
And let the blood-letting commence
Observe the cowering bastards sit on the fence
Poets can be a vicious breed
Almost as obnoxiou...
Saturday 9th July 2016 9:43 am
Forest Gate Mystery Train (Spoken Word)
I'm on the Forest Gate Mystery Train,
With my burgled geranium eyes.
I'm on the Forest Gate Mystery Train,
Sighing goldfish clock sardine spies.
Spammed atomic; trolleyed marine,
Frost-buckled arms glow margarine,
Slender dolls slalom offside knees,
Capsules backslide into the stalagmite City.
Tutankhamen consortia;
Shoulder-penguins soggy cadge the dap...
Wednesday 15th June 2016 4:04 am
I Am The World's First Selfie Poem
I am the world's first selfie poem,
Held aloft by the world's first selfie poem stick,
A look-at-me wordsmith pic,
Here I am fluttering beside Tower Bridge.
So here I pose on the left bank;
Here I'm by the Eiffel Tower,
Here I selfie seductively next to the shower.
Ignore the bidet -
Admire my framed parchment hanging above a plastic flower
pot.
Here I am analysed by a poet I barely ...
Monday 13th June 2016 4:54 am
Newton Fourth Law
The back and forth motion
Will produce a lotion!
Tuesday 11th August 2015 10:11 am
I've Lost My Mind
Where did I put my mind?
This is going to drive me nuts!
I retraced my steps, back to front,
Checked my pockets... several times,
Looked around where I'd been outside,
And even rummaged through the garbage!
Where did I put my mind?
This is going to drive me nuts!
I've been everywhere thrice,
Even places I'm sure I never was,
And I've run out of places to search,
And, yet, it's nowhe...
Monday 30th March 2015 11:41 am
F.U.C.K.
Forging of firmness in frail frigate
Unision is unlikely to happen
Cranky & cruel words spew at will
Kicking down walls of decency and etiquette
Monday 23rd March 2015 2:51 am
Poem: Dust (Humor)
Those disembodied remnants,
Earthly remains of unknown souls,
are now assembled at my doorstep.
Having piqued my attention,
who are these unwelcome houseguests?
Loved ones or Nordic heroes
who were consumed in funeral pyres?
How old are these molecules
that have been forever scattered
during these past centuries?
Unwanted leftovers of human containers,
eaten by microscopic mites,
nibbl...
Thursday 21st August 2014 6:18 pm
Deep Down Inside
Deep down
inside,
I have
no pride.
Deep down
inside,
I've taken
the slide.
Deep down
inside,
my soul
the demons
have fried.
Deep down
inside.
Shirley Smothers
I wrote this poem a few years ago. I wrote it to be bad on purpose.
Someone rec...
Wednesday 16th January 2013 9:18 pm
Fidelity
Lemon brightness in my eyes
to warmer climes in winter he flies
it’s in his nature to choose his wife
instinctively choosing to mate for life
fidelity causes some men to flinch
they could learn a thing or two from
my finch
Photography by Lisa Milligan
Tuesday 16th August 2011 5:04 pm
Recent Comments
TobaniNataiella on Different Hand
33 minutes ago
Tom on I Hear Nothing
48 minutes ago
Tom on First Class
50 minutes ago
Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh on I Am Paint
1 hour ago
Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh on I'm Sixty Six Today! (5/12/24)
1 hour ago
Hélène on FROM THE SINK
1 hour ago
Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh on Breathing
1 hour ago
Hélène on First Class
1 hour ago
Hélène on I Am Paint
2 hours ago
David RL Moore on I Am Paint
2 hours ago