HayzTee

The "C", forever with me.

Saturday 17th October 2020 3:43 pm (first posted Friday 10th August 2018 2:16 pm)

Once you've been touched by the "C"
You'll no longer ever be free
It stains me, sticks with me
I just want to be released
But I'm haunted by this vicious disease
That aims to end lives, make me deceased
We may halt it, but it never truly leaves
It's tangled within me, lingering in my bloody Genes!
You never know what's lurking underneath
Not everything is always as it seems
It steals your body and your dreams
You'll never hear our silent screams
Or see the internal tears that stream
But trust me, we just want to finally be free
But it sticks with you till you're deceased
That's the bitter truth of this vicious disease.

🌷 (6)

bowel cancer Cancer cancer in your genes cancer never leaves disease endless worry free genes pain

◄ Meant for Me

Many sides of the truth ►

Comments

M.C. Newberry

Sat 11th Aug 2018 14:31

Certainly, the "inherited" aspect of this disease seems
wayward and cruel.
A number of my mother's elder sisters suffered, one dying
young with two others living to a good age, and she was
stressed that she too would suffer their fate - but never did,
passing away at 90 from the medical expectations
associated with her advanced age.
Thank you for the enlightenment and your positivity about
your own situation.

HayzTee (Hayley)

Sat 11th Aug 2018 14:04

Thankyou Ferris. I hope so to. Literally just doing everything I've always wanted to accomplish, within reason, so that helps. I want to actually live my life leave a good mask next to my name if I was to ever go. So I've been writing, doing art, baking and venturing put more than I used to.... so it has benefited me. Stopped me being as much of a hermit haha.

But here's to hoping I am fortunate in the rest of life

HayzTee (Hayley)

Fri 10th Aug 2018 21:40

Thankyou Jane I shall do!! ?

<Deleted User> (19836)

Fri 10th Aug 2018 21:11

Your words are deep and from the heart; very moving. Thank you for sharing!

With all do respect...if I may suggest - please research the benefits of "Rebounding". A form of exercise which is being used in the US for Cancer Rehabilitation. Rebounding dramatically improves the circulation of lymph which is key in preventing the onset or the return of cancer. IT'S ALSO LOTS OF FUN!!!

Thank you! Jane?

HayzTee (Hayley)

Fri 10th Aug 2018 19:34

as lovely an idea that may be, we currently do not have such thins so my perspective is one that is made up without those. if we get to a point where such things exist, perhaps a lot of my anxiety will be eased ?

Big Sal

Fri 10th Aug 2018 19:29

Maybe not a "cure" for cancerous genes, but perhaps a "cure" for cancerous polyps that grow in the large intestine and a "cure" that allows them to shrink without invasive surgery. Or a "cure" for many common genetic ailments that people suffer from today. The human race may actually one day survive long enough to learn how to manipulate those genetics. Who knows? Until then here's hoping.

HayzTee (Hayley)

Fri 10th Aug 2018 19:10

there is NO cure for a cancer gene. If you have IVF treatment for children and have the cancer gene in your DNA, you can get the eggs tested for the gene and only have eggs without the gene inserted into you. That is as 'curable' as this gets for us. Which is basically ridding ourselves of 'bad eggs' so we don't have to have children who will get cancer. So if we wanted to stop our future children having cancer |(but not grandchildren or future generations because the gene will still lay dormant somewhere) it would cost us stupid money and lots of not nice procedures.

HayzTee (Hayley)

Fri 10th Aug 2018 19:05

to put it blankly, of all the extensive research and following of lots of people with the FAP gene (the one responsible for INHERITED bowel cancer) people that have this gene WILL have a run in with cancer BY the age of 40. Very few are fortunate not to. Thus the reason we are checked yearly. It is very aggressive when it starts to act so they have to check very frequently.

HayzTee (Hayley)

Fri 10th Aug 2018 19:02

Brian please read the comment I just wrote. This poem isn't about the lottery, it's about having poisoned DNA. Thus the line, it's in my bloody genes.

HayzTee (Hayley)

Fri 10th Aug 2018 19:01

M. C. Newberry, although if it isnt genetical you can aid in staying clear and keeping healthy, if you have it through it being a gene, like my FAP gene being passed down from my mum through my DNA... you can't prevent it. If it becomes active or mutates, it isnt something you or doctors can stop.. they can only monitor and hope for the best that is doesn't become active and start forming in your body. then if it does they can try to get rid of it or help control it as early as possible through routine checks throughout your lifetime.

I am talking from the perspective of having inherited the genes through DNA passed down from a parent. Not people who develop cancer that may or may not be linked to their lifestyle or just terrible luck.

For instance I was a very healthy and active child. I rarely ate fast food, rarely had fizzy pop, really disliked cordials so always drank water, wore sun cream, had a relatively good diet, had a positive mindset etc, didn't smoke, yet it didn't stop it coming after me. Why? because its my genes not things around me. I'm under geneticists for that reason.

Sometimes you cannot control or prevent things, only hope and keep your fingers crossed they stay away for as long as possible. For me, that is the case. If I was to sugar coat it to myself, and the next day I was to find out it had come back, it would destroy me. It's better to live with open eyes, than in ignorant bliss. I learned that when the day I found out what my tests were actually for, I was also told it was getting a close call to them turning to cancer in me soon, and that I would have to have 2 operations, one in 4 weeks time, being only 12 years old.

If i expect it, I am mentally prepared for it. Someone who suffers from the mental health issues that I do, preparation mentally is the best we can do to prevent ourselves from breaking and losing hope if the worst case scenario happens.

<Deleted User> (18980)

Fri 10th Aug 2018 18:50

I tend to side with the sentiments of MC. I don't take any 'anti' supplements but believe that a good balanced diet with sensible alcohol intake and no smoking/drugs must help to combat any sort of disease or condition. However, I do accept that cancer can be a complete lottery.

BTW I have been at a beer festival all day and have had a skinfull so have broken my own rules.

HayzTee (Hayley)

Fri 10th Aug 2018 18:42

thank you for all the likes and comments. this was written from the heart after a bout of anxiety regarding this issue

Daemon Cantrell

Fri 10th Aug 2018 15:37

I had family touched by this disease and I travel with every word of this poem very deep.

Hugh

Fri 10th Aug 2018 14:55

Writing and sharing will C you through,definitely the right way to go.And sharing with W.O.L.a caring community will make you feel better.A brilliant insight into the C factor .Well done.

M.C. Newberry

Fri 10th Aug 2018 14:54

There are foods and supplements (polyphenols) that are
actively "anti" and well worth checking online, not least
for their supportive aspect in their mind over matter value.

Big Sal

Fri 10th Aug 2018 14:48

I'm of the mind that there is a cure for anything - we as humans just have to find or make it first. The possibilities for longevity we as a species have yet to come across are baffling. We've come a long way from eradicating certain diseases to making cures for other diseases that have festered for thousands of years.

Not that many people care to know, but carvacrol, an ingredient found in many plants including oregano, Dittany of Crete, and even rosemary has been found by several studies to cause apoptosis (cell death) in multiple types of cancers. It does not harm normal, living cells as far as the people studying could tell, but cancer cells are not so lucky. It may not be a cure for it, but hopefully some day a real cure can be synthesized and widely manufactured. Especially to children hospitals.

HayzTee (Hayley)

Fri 10th Aug 2018 14:46

I feel you, I had the same, had my large intestine removed because it was trying to start, then will be tested the rest of my life. Statistically I'm likely to come across it by the age of 40 again, and my children with an active gene (if any do have it) will also have it by 40. Thankfully we will have checks to try to prevent ? still sucky haha. Besides this one's a real nasty gene that likes to mutate into various other cancers we won't be checked for until it's likely done damage.

Think it was easier before I saw geneticists because I was blissfully unaware. Currently trying to vent through the bad in hopes I can put it behind and out of sight until it may occur or not hahah ? writing helps. Few weeks from now I'll be all optimistic again?

Taylor Crowshaw

Fri 10th Aug 2018 14:39

Saying I liked this poem would be wrong.
Wonderfully written, relevant, upsetting, I absolutely get every word. Thank you for sharing.
I appreciated it.
Thank you.
?

M.C. Newberry

Fri 10th Aug 2018 14:23

Some family members have been victims and I'm tested
at intervals for a specific sort so I feel a connection. That
said, I also believe in pro-active behaviour - helping the
body to help itself via sensible self-care through diet and
behaviour. That can also bolster the mental attitude to
enable a coping mechanism to click in. In short - positivity!
The Big C originates in damaged cell reproduction so it
seems logical to confront the process at source - with
the essential aim of prevention rather than cure.

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