Poetry Blogs (2020, cancer)

i am a lucky girl.

just recently i read that

on average

people take around 24,000 breaths 

everyday 

in between words

and laughs 

and running late to their jobs.

today i watched an old

PJ Harvey concert on tv

she was singing and

screaming and

breathing 

all over the place-

it was great

i bet i took a thousand breaths 

just sitting there watchi...

Read and leave comments (1)

I can feel you,
thick in my throat,
threatening to consume me,
slithering through my mind and body,
wielding your alpha power, 
making me weak. 

I curse you, drown you, 
in sunshine and sweet elixirs,
but you refuse to leave.

I am stronger than you think.

I order you and your invisible army 
of pain, heartbreak, misery,
away from my cosmic energy. 

I did not manifest you.
You...

Read and leave comments (3)

A song I wrote a while ago, I played the guitar when I still could, arthritis in my hands has ended that, My cousins son sang and played the Harmonica and clapped.we never sat down and played it just sent stuff back and forth on the internet until we had something he could mix at his studio. Its about my son who died of a rare bone cancer, Ewings Sarcoma at eighteen years of age.

Blues for Davi...

Read and leave comments (2)

Cancer ©

Cancer you came into our lives once before when you took my grandfather to his final resting place,
We only had a short time to spend with him, and it was hard to look him in his face,
My mama used to cry a lot; regrets, fears, and meaningful words, how hard it was for her to comprehend,
All she wanted was a few more years, without the hurt, pain, and overflow of tears,
The family ...

Read and leave comments (0)

A poet and friend of mine inspired me to write this piece by his beautiful poem ‘Days Defined.’   About Cancer and the NHS.

I dedicate this to ‘I’m not a poet’ and the NHS.  

The Passing of time.

Treat your family, lovers, friends, shop keepers, strangers as if today was their last day. For tomorrow it may be, for sure for some, it will be.

When we treat our partners and love...

Read and leave comments (2)

Nineteen nighty five
Nominally fourteen;
I was sitting in the sports hall
pen in hand
the desks apart
a teacher I didn’t know
patrolled the aisles
The English paper said ‘write a story
include a river
and an allegory’

The clock at the front clicks
thin hands jerk and tick
I spin my pen
study the air vents above me
there’s a dusty shuttlecock
caught up in the pipework
there’s a br...

Read and leave comments (10)

I lost my vra vra vroom

The day you got your diagnosis

Felt joint tomorrows wither

With the growth of what we knew

You – with your mother’s heart

And dragon’s roar

Saving me from lions

Or bullies, or bees...

My sister, my confidante,

My best friend

Entombed within the capsule

Of your hypobaric oxygen chamber

I stand outside and count the miles

Fear ...

Read and leave comments (4)

Out driving our first cars at night
snaking the blackness of North East country roads
I'd flick the headlights off
hear the girls scream
then back on and we'd crack up laughing

In our town, there wasn't much to do
but wander looping streets 
haunt the park outside of college
blow house to house, see who was home
or spend it lying in your bedroom laughing

When you and Chris split, he ...

Read and leave comments (2)

Once you've been touched by the "C"
You'll no longer ever be free 
It stains me, sticks with me
I just want to be released 
But I'm haunted by this vicious disease
That aims to end lives, make me deceased
We may halt it, but it never truly leaves
It's tangled within me, lingering in my bloody Genes!
You never know what's lurking underneath
Not everything is always as it seems
It steals y...

Read and leave comments (19)

It's a tough pill to swallow.
I want to fucking puke.
This feeling in my stomach,
like I swallowed a live nuke.

They just give me pills to swallow
and run a lot of useless tests.
I tried so hard to keep it away,
to fight it off but it infests.

I hate these pills I swallow.
I feel the cancer in my veins.
It's consuming my body
and fucking with my brain.

It's not your pill to swallow.
I...

Read and leave comments (1)

Goth Fall
What a cool gothic chick I hooked up with online.

We shared the same interests.

A pretty, kind, intelligent, funny woman.

I thought this is it.

I've met my soulmate.

No more loneliness or being misunderstood by the wrong gals.

What a catch.

Something stopped us being together.

She sensed it.

Bad news got in the way of us.

Half a bottle of vodka engulfed my oblivion.

It's...

Read and leave comments (0)

i'm overly sensitive and also rather shy

i keep my thoughts to myself and hide when i cry

I notice that i'm an emotional wreck 

I moan a lot and i'm a pain in the neck

i wouldn't put up with anyone like me 

yet some how you do what is it you see?

Is it my certain skills like being able to cook?

Or is it because i enjoy other thing's like reading a book 

is it because i'm un...

Read and leave comments (0)

I can tell you exactly when it happened. I was sat on one of those plasticy leatherette chairs. You know the ones, they have them in all hospitals, they're easy to wipe clean if someone has a little accident. I had my hand clasped about my wife's fingers and though I knew I was squeezing them too hard she didn't complain.

She, the doctor that is, or should I say consultant? Anyway, she leant in...

Read and leave comments (4)

words

            no man should know

            or say

words

            no child should hear:

            parent, pray

            to be spared.

as he sat with his sons at home

and struggled to find

words:

he knew

            she will never return to us

he knew

            she is too ill

In a time when she was strong

for them

as her body weake...

Read and leave comments (0)

My little pale faced love

Pixie now for you or closer

Hang on in there, it's proof it's working

This is just a sign of the clock ticking 

Ticking away the days to full health

Full recovery no less my lovely, you'll see

The pest shrinking daily for others to catch

Trust in their judgement and hold my hand tight

You'll be free soon my lovely, just you wait and see

Read and leave comments (0)

black clouds on a sunny day

a bus ride into town

on a sunny day

a black cloud

crawls its way

across the window

this is about me

this is about me

this is about me

this is not about me

she could be

he could be

there is no sign

how would I know

I glance at her

her smile

curves into uncertainty

at the corner

of her mou...

Read and leave comments (3)

The day I got that phone call I knew was the beginning of the end, that day was the last day I felt real fear. The fact that you’d be taken from me at any moment. That phone call was in fact my worse fear realized. That day it felt like you were ready to stop protecting me from the world but in that same hour I knew you wouldn’t be there to protect me at all. I flew to you, I ran to you only to se...

Read and leave comments (0)

This make-believe story I predicted in my head,

To pieces upon the ground does it fall.

A happiness once experienced -

A security long gone,

And a father I had imagined -

Now a memory in which I had created.

But, the hurt inside is real -

All torn up, how does my heart continue to beat?

A trauma of the past -

Why must I remember what I wish not to?

I created...

Read and leave comments (0)

There was a man I knew,

not too close, not too far,

as a child he was there

to tend to my scars.

A man with a past,

of that I had no doubt,

a man, when provoked,

who knew how to shout.

A happy man

with a smile for all,

he'd always be there to

pick me up when I'd fall.

And though never far away,

we were never very close,

a sign of those times

Read and leave comments (1)

You always said you worried
for the ones you'd leave behind
and what they had to go through
as they watched your health decline

I never fully understood
how you found the strength to fight
never once self pitying
though you had every right.

Never once did you complain
or state life was unfair
rejecting help because you felt
it better served elsewhere 

the tears you shed wer...

Read and leave comments (4)

If you were a dog
we'd have put you sleep
before the loss of memory
and dragging of feet
before the confusion
and constant frustration
haunted with the knowledge
your life would be taken.

The jumbled speech
and declining sight
the fears that kept 
you up at night
the lack of food
going into your system
the morphine drip
and doctors inspections.

The saddened look
tired with...

Read and leave comments (0)

I found a picture of you today
it rocked me to the core
showing you smiling, full of life
before your cancer war

it broke my heart to see it though
and made me question why
the ones who mean the most to us
are taken before their time?

Filled with so much more to give
oh how you spread your love
always there for anyone
and never one to judge

you taught me vital lessons, which
I...

Read and leave comments (0)

One more day I wanted

from the moment that you passed

one more conversation

to hear you talk and laugh

a year gone by already

and the void you left remains

this loneliness unbearable 

can't shift this fucking pain.

I tried to drink and smoke myself 

into an early grave

momentary respite from grieving

I still crave

but nothing numbs the feeling

of a paren...

Read and leave comments (4)

For a princely sum of seven quid odd

You can buy a fare to see your god

With tar and chemicals in each fag

Your lungs are choking with each drag

Carbon Monoxide with a nicotine kick

Coughing and spluttering until you're sick

But pushing on with your tobacco intake

Tumours and Emphysema from a daily fix

Four thousand chemicals in each toke

Poisonin...

Read and leave comments (1)

Offend a Daily Mail reader – today!

In our miniscule existences upon this planet Earth

There’s precious few occurrences to occasion us true mirth

So listen up real loudly, those with brains and minds to spare

Who still hang on to plucking out true hope from thinnest air

Here’s the solution, if you’re open to such play

Just offend a Daily Mail reader today

...

Read and leave comments (4)

I’ve hope that the miracle I’ve asked my pagan Goddess for happens.

That my dear friend and fellow writer,

Charmaine Maeer, makes a full recovery

from the cancer that is murdering her.

Blond beautiful intelligent age 34.

Soon to be dead.

A spear in my heart,

me not knowing why her.

Except my dear friend fights with spirit and total love endures.

...

Read and leave comments (0)

Well hello there,

 It has been a long old while since I last posted and lots has happened since my last post. I have a new job and am now officially a commuter which is inspiring a large amount of material as you can imagine. I have also had one or two tragic events happen which leads me to my latest entry.

 At the beginning of this month my Grandfather passed away after losing a long f...

Read and leave comments (2)

Dear Jimbo,

On this day you left.

The Earth could no longer handle your grace, for this world can be an ugly place.

We couldn't handle your departure by ourselves. You showed us that we still have each other and that family is more than we were allowing it to be. Some of us will recoil and shrink. We look at them and we think about growth, our own extra terrestrial face as universal...

Read and leave comments (1)

Why on Earth would you think

I’d find one of the world’s biggest killers

funny?

You’ve known me for years, you heartless cow.

We shared the same drab town

sterilised bottles

degenerate parents.

I looked after you when you were sick

Scraping back hair, sponging brow

Forcing vile vials of fizzy liquids down your protesting throat.

I’ve run Marathons, raised...

Read and leave comments (1)

I see you
with sensual sense
like the Na'vi.
Hungry for your love
yet I let your absence starve me.
Living on the spiritual sustenance of memory,
Sliced on loose lips
drunk on truth and Hennesy.

I see you
as I raise a glass to the departed...
to my departure from your life.
How can I tell my lover I'll literally travel oceans to be at her bedside
when I d...

Read and leave comments (0)

`

Read more …

Take Five Hundred and Sixty Four

Read and leave comments (0)