Refugee

 

Like a butterfly

I am caught

between the fly-screen

and glass door

 

through a veil of tears

I see freedom

but cling to the bars

and want more…

 

 

Frances Macaulay Forde © 2005

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Sometimes I feel like saying every crazy thing that comes to mind
Making decisions for those who can't decide
It's demanding
Recyclable cycles supplying empathy and understanding

I'm just a human trying to be the best and give help to whom I'm sent
Devoted to the ones I love
Grateful for the help I receive
Sorry to those I've deceived
Guilty by nature ..due to low self worth and trauma
...

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Always searching for the next good time

and what the world can bring.

Always looking for the next big deal

and what it’s offering.

 

Never thinking very far ahead

or worrying about the cost.

Never wanting much to understand

or caring what gets lost.

 

Always thinking I don’t need to change,

believing that I’m fine.

Always doing what I want to do

and taking ...

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Trapped in this 
claustrophobic body
as it ages
plummeting towards inevitability
all youthful thoughts 
of immortality thrown aside
by reality
where did life go
when did life go
a speeding train that makes me move more slowly 
the longer the journey takes
sometimes at a snail’s pace
towards a final stop where I get off 
and out 
and gone
forever

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Chains of Capture

Deepest darkest nightmares
But only if you knew
The lengths that I have taken
To hide away the truth
The scars are slowly fading
But the pain runs deep inside
Some say that I'm outspoken
But they don’t see the things I hide
The questions left unanswered
Constantly running through my head
The ‘what if’s’ again resurfaced
That I’d thought I’d put to bed
My demons is ...

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tree resin could not compare,

so soft and adhesive as glue,

drawn in like a starving fly, I

gorged on the love she grew

 

she's gone now, felled by time,

ironic mere insects survive her,

yet we are safe as any house,

secure but trapped in Amber

 

I'm stuck and its getting harder

I watch myself get fossilized,

years go by and I turn to rock,

humble yet curious...

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I'm trapped in darkness

Searching for the light to leave

Will I ever find it?

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Once I saw a dream
Of living in an open air
Full of freedom with colorful layer.
Having a sight to achieve a height
There comes a lover of a face with smile.
Never said, never asked a question
Simple sight made all the decisions.
Believing the person, giving up everything,
My life was trapped like anything.

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Poupée de glace modelée par les regards 

Figurine de lumière 

Mais carcan de toile 

Fuite impossible 

Grâce piégée dans la création.  

 

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fly

 

a haphazard weaving

of unclear intention

the drone of annoyance

the beating of

full spectrum wings

the tap

                tap

                                tap

                                                tap

of attempt after attempt

to get through the glass

of the window

and reach the free domain

of the out there

 

the buzz

       ...

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She is dead already,

those eyes have murdered her.

They shut her inside jars,

scream their pain, projection.

She needs not to sting humans

but she is overwhelmed.

Searching for open windows,

A chance to kill herself. 

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Days pass way too fast

It's hard to invision, that we'll last

Running onwards, aimlessly

Without allowing our truths, to set us free

 

When will we gain control?

Stop plodding on too slow?

Not one of us really knows,

We just continue with the flow

 

I dream of the day, they set us free

Finally able to live the way, we want to be

Just me and you for eternity

A...

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I'm sitting here, trapped, frozen in time

Head imploding, finally losing my mind

Nowhere to run, bound and confined

To the prison within, my unconscious mind.

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“Ich du, Ich du!”

Those words meant nothing to you.

Nought but bindings

Tethering me to you.

 

Your loving face turned hard,

Your gaze hurting me like barbs.

“Ich du, Ich du!”

The words that bind me to you.

 

Your  ghastly glare

Evoking within me so much fear.

“I truly do love you dear,”

Barely but a long-lost whisper in my ears.

 

Your gentle touch tur...

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I sold my soul now i'm paying the price

He feeds off my anger and sadness

he wont let me out i feel trapped

i'm stuck in this deep dark deprivation 

It started off fine because i was blind

Now i see it for what it really is

i'm outside looking in at it

his eyes are dark and souless

nothing in their but evil

I feel like a possession and object a thing. 

Not a human bei...

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Been turning myself to blue and green,

Trapping and locking myself in this fucking cage

Again

And I can't, I cannot, I will not

Let you in here.

Nothing more can rely on me.

And i will spend my days putting stoicism and serenity on pedestals,

And I will be hopeless and choked

And my heart will be lurching

And it passed right by me,

But I realise now that no hand is so...

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Desolation Alley

 

a weak light rises over the chimneys

the grass is the colour of piss

smog prises its fingers into bronchial lungs

a dog with three legs barrels down the street

curtains stained with inquisitive glances

stare out at the paperboy on a rusty bike

a cat crawls under a red Cortina parked on bricks

November exhales a grey breath on the windows

 

inside

...

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  They are coming with the needle They think they are being kind Sending me back to The jungles of my mind.   There are creatures in the forest, I can feel them closing in Screaming in my mind In a brain jarring din. The fire is burning well Sending out heat and light Keeping at bay  Those creatures of...

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Lair Of The Snow Spider

 

there are domains so deep

that no one will tread

so dark that they are blind

in these dank places

the air is still and

sound is soft and mute

 

into this darkness

snow falls

settling in the nooks

and crannies

dusting the branches

with its ice grasp

 

can you hear it

the soft sly scuttle

of a many l...

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TRAPPED

Trapped in this awful fucking life where I wanted to love but ruined the chance when I got it. I’ll never forget her but what does that matter now with defeat snapping at my heels, she fully understands the past snapping at her heels, like mine does. Her words, not mine. I surrender to the nightmare night-time dark veil of defeat and await my end. It came sooner than I thought...

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`





gnarly fingers
veil his face,
skin thin and crusty
at spots:
splotched parchment
of years in the sun

water
cascades
from his forehead to
his chin
then meets gravity;
raindrops

through his soil-grimed
singlet, jeans and boots;
hours of toil
simmer away
in rivulets
of forgetfulness.




`

Photo by Eric Kaufman, NC

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