Nicola Beckett on d.knape
9 hours ago
Nicola Beckett on LONE CLOUD
9 hours ago
I hear the hounds whine. The dust rises as they stomp and claw the dirt before me. Eyes made of moonlight and their breath, the stench of pain. I am no longer their mistress. Forsaken them for a heart. Oh wretched beasts forgive me. Allow me one more day's light above the shadows.
Wednesday 5th May 2021 12:51 am
I feel it itching under my skin
clawing away deep inside
I thought i could be myself around you
now i am just sorry that I ever tried
I find myself bending over backwards for you
trying to leap through these flaming hoops
Still, it isn't a choice that you choose
For that wouldn't ever, benefit you
We're winding down this endless road
neither of us can find any hope.
Still we hold ont...
Sunday 31st January 2021 1:44 am
I think of you, chastise myself,
And press your name away
Ignoring, stubbornly, the fact,
You’re present every day
I don’t ask why I cannot help
But seek your commentary
On every task, or smile of mine-
A wish I cannot bury
I say, embarrassed at myself,
That this affair ends now.
This fantasy, this made-up game,
I cannot keep allowing
Saturday 16th January 2021 6:55 pm
You don’t want to fail
I don’t wanna let you down
But there always a time which makes us doubt
Fighting each other without making sense
Why can’t we find A melody between us
I hope to find a middle ground between us
Where we can be proud of ourselves
Hoping on the bed made by our faiths
Where we can be at peace
However we suffer we can be at ease
Friday 31st July 2020 3:12 pm
The production commenced
with actors on stage
portraying the love we once had-
the grasp of her cheek,
the look in her eyes,
as he folded over himself
to make her swoon his way.
Amongst an empty crowd,
the curtain’s now drawn,
the actors have gone home,
the final act is done,
it’s time to get on.
Hanging on for an encore,
hoping for another show,
relishing in the memori...
Friday 19th June 2020 1:36 am
Images and words
words longed for
as they wrap around
and envelop me,
overwhelming yet satisfying.
Since our last meeting
your ghostly presence arrived
in the oddest of places:
long car drives,
walking in a park,
every room of the house,
and late at night in bed.
Friday 12th June 2020 3:17 pm
Telepathically, your thoughts race over me
They strike during the early morning hours
It’s that time again
But we won’t talk about that now
We’ll say so much that will fit in
The space between the silence
But those days where we lit up the sky
We won’t talk about that now
But the fantasies creep in
Some days, or most days,
On what we’ve done behind locked d...
Saturday 23rd May 2020 2:17 pm
Her fingers tracing mine
Lily danced me out of the garden
those green eyes brimming lively
with purest abandon
Then barefoot on the boardwalk
her summer dress riding high
she leapt onto the jetty
and gestured to the sky
We let our tanned legs hang below
as we bottomed up the bottle
the air was hot and heavy
the sea around us peaceful
There was lust upon our minds
as a veil upon a ...
Friday 15th May 2020 10:33 am
My gums are bleeding again.
There’s a stack of papers that need attention
But I can’t find my glasses.
My truck is making that funny noise.
I sleep too late
Because no one wakes me.
I don’t write
I feel it’s all been said.
I find I’m repeating myself
No one takes me seriously
Your point’s been made:
I am selfish and fickle,
Sunday 10th May 2020 4:55 am
Michelangelo said the work of art awaited him beneath the slab of marble, merely for him to uncover it. In my own small way I understand that as I write these days. The poem I know is possible waits patiently at the other side across a murky divide and with luck and patience maybe I can reach it, reveal it.
Here is one I wrote about a barbecue years ago in the small town where I lived.
Friday 8th May 2020 11:43 pm
A Bracelet Of Daisies
She made me a daisy bracelet
And twisted the stems round my wrist
We swore we would never forget
the sun slowly set as we kissed
And for a short while that was true
love blossomed like that daisy chain
but those white petals never grew
the green shoots were twisted in pain
It hurts when you’re given a heart
that unnourished withers and ...
Monday 20th April 2020 2:51 pm
I was living certain and sure
of the future I desired
A house by the water
sea air kissing my eyes
before I brave the morning paper
A figure framed in a gaping doorway
watching freighters skim the horizon
Rest my coffee cup on the fence
slide a nail down this foriegn envelope
draw the perfumed letter from within
The paper see-through
like her summer dresses
My fingers beneath it
Monday 13th April 2020 1:39 pm
I stand in front of a crowd
I’ve prepared for this night
I speak of you, us
I sing of you
The stories describe how we loved
And then how you left,
How your ghost tormented me
And left my heart a wreck
I’m done crying over you
Over and over again
Our story is done
Finally at night
My peace has come
Thursday 26th March 2020 5:15 am
Is it better to have a love lost
Not knowing about the other side
To have a deep hole in your heart
To keep what was lost in the past
And always wonder ‘what if’
Or to have it come back,
And realize it was true
Always has been
And he’s thinking of you, too
With thousands of miles away
You both have commitments
There’s no future
Only the p...
Friday 13th March 2020 9:35 pm
We met there in the bar
the same drink
the same table
conversing over troubles
we leaned on each other
in those long nights
I sit and wait
at the same table
with the same drink
you hadn’t arrived yet
and I linger for hours
Nights like this pass
was it something I said
was there someone new
what was it keeping you
Then you arrive one night...
Monday 2nd March 2020 2:06 am
Walking down Lovers Lane on that cool October evening
We stopped and lingered there
Stood only inches apart
There wasn’t anything more to say
I wasn’t one for small talk anyway
We both knew what we wanted
I asked that fateful question,
‘What are you waiting for?’
You kissed me
All I can remember is that time stood still
I lost my breath
I lost feeling in my legs
I crashed to the gro...
Thursday 27th February 2020 3:58 am
I saw your face after 8 months of absence
Could have avoided it by taking another path
But I pressed on
Faced the challenge
Saw your smile
And I felt nothing
Only the regret that I gave you more than you ever deserved
I relived the moment a hundred times
I could have said so many things
I could have taken the high road and be pleasan...
Friday 21st February 2020 1:37 am
Meet me in the rain
So I can explain
The sun’s gone
And it’s been too long
I look at your pictures on the wall
I shouldn’t keep them up for too long
I miss the sound of you down the hall
So I avoid the sound of you at all
It’s as if the flood gates of heaven opened up from God’s weeping
Deep down I know it wasn’t you I should be keeping
Thursday 20th February 2020 4:00 am
One by one counting memories:
an old photograph of us at the beach,
a sweater that won’t rid itself of your scent,
books and CDs that you lent,
I’ve packed them away
They won’t see another day
I’ve packed the boxes,
made the plans,
the rooms are empty
but I am motionless
Is it that familiar look?
Is it the morning glow
that paints itself through the window?
No, it’s the memories ...
Monday 3rd February 2020 6:32 pm
I’m not the man for you,
this is true
but does your man, Henry,
make you tremble like I used to?
Does he do things to you like I used to?
He may look nice in his suit
and treat you to dinner
but does he deliver?
Does he cross your mind late at night?
Does he give you butterflies?
Does he bring you your favorite flowers?
I was too much of a coward
I should have loved you
I should h...
Thursday 30th January 2020 4:20 am
We circle as sharks
on the Hyde Park winter rink
our eyes like lasers
I audibly bleep when they meet
We both go forwards
not getting anywhere
we pass with differing intervals
I only breathe when we pass
Some laps are flawless
some laps are clumsy
some laps I nearly take some sucker down
some laps I kiss the ice
I feel your eyes lift me to my feet
I feel them brush the slush from...
Friday 13th December 2019 1:49 pm
Lit by the distant sun
in a backyard beer-garden
overlooking the meadow
my swimming brain spins out
through adventures of the past
by coach, by plane
through unfamiliar landscapes
to the desert
We rode the Greyhound
between the sun-drenched cities
your head lay on my lap
and when we could tear
our eyes from one-another
we'd watch the world pa...
Monday 17th June 2019 10:15 am
Attic window open in the night
as hinges creak
it's a dim swell of light
from the page, I raise my pen
is that your laugh, your voice I hear
blowing through the years
Is it you, is it you
or a song of the wind
it is you, is it you
well, I never know
I see the miles of white tiles
that infinite airport floor
where you left me statuesque
our future time without a date
that never ca...
Monday 13th May 2019 11:43 pm
He loves her but,
she loves him,
but he loves the mirror
like his lost love loves selfies.
Adoration, pointing every direction,
like weather vanes in a hurricane.
Each unware their
is bound to end.
Love lessons often repeat
until we understand that
real love begins within,
then overflows to others,
making the circle of love
Tuesday 26th March 2019 3:39 am
They were the deciding factor
Of a good or bad day
Of whether I was okay
If we were okay
They could change my mood
Stop me in my tracks
Jumble my mind
Blind me from the truth
I was their addict
By the end
I was weak
Stripped of all identity
And they appeared
In my dreams...
Saturday 29th September 2018 10:52 pm
I still loved you but I walked away.
I know you still love me, but I'm not comming back.
You still try to reach me, I know you do.
Every text you send I read, never ending your silent plead.
I know you're hurting I'm too,
but I know I can't be with you.
You were my everything I hope you know.
now I can't give you roses of red colour.
I was hurting, my heart was bleeding,
I didn't let ...
Friday 28th September 2018 4:11 pm
Watching, listening, waiting
An endless unmoving time
Pain thriving within her
Her heart is far from fine.
Feeling, hurting, crying
An endless stabbing pain
Giving up on trying
Her heart so full of strain.
Retching, whimpering, head swirling
An endless wrath of terror
Her fingers clasping, curling
Her heart forever slain.
Calming, numbing, unfeeli...
Monday 30th July 2018 1:17 pm
It slithers around me
Putting on a show
As if I'm in control
But little do I know
It's charming me
I give myself over
Allowing the fangs
To pierce my flesh
At the feat
Begins the retreat
Into the grass
From my vision
I thought this
This was the test
Tuesday 26th June 2018 12:36 pm
Did you ever think
As you slandered my name
Did you ever feel a thing
While you were slithering
Were you ever authentic
While I wore your scarlet letter
Thank God I found my shades
To block out the sun
Blinding me from the truth
I see you puffing your chest
Showing your bright feathers
Like I have no self control
As if it’s biology calling
Tuesday 3rd April 2018 5:45 pm
Emotional fortress built with broken stones,
Battle ram rushing a chill down my bones.
Forecast rain and mist,
Cutting down my sight,
Loud cries followed by their echoes,
On this battlefield of love.
Throwing spears and arrows,
Shaped as yelled sentences,
Directed at my heart,
Even the quiet whispers are able to do their part.
As the gates came crushing,
You just stood still.
Sunday 17th December 2017 10:52 pm
Lost in thought I sought and sought in a jungle of memories, which with every passing second fades into the distance but struggles to disappear. I walk through the foyers of my mind- on each side open doors all except one – closed & unmarked. I edge towards it anxious and afraid, turn the lock but it will not budge. The memory of u is trapped behind a closed door. I bang and kick and shove and ki...
Friday 22nd September 2017 7:45 pm
It was a painful thorn that had sewn our hearts together.
Yes, that was it,
A thorn that attached me to you,
Made your hell taste like heaven.
When I left you,
The flowers in my lungs died.
And for the first time, I could breath,
Although every day I find myself missing their beauty.
But for however many of my roses die,
This is something I can be proud of.
Saturday 30th April 2016 4:06 pm
Saint Valentine’s Day Mascara
She cried when I forgot.
She cried when I remembered,
her tears like silver arrows
to my heart,
her eyes black-lined with sorrow.
The ink, barely dried,
smudged with liquid joy.
A big wet splash on the ‘o’
turning ‘love’ into ‘live’
and crowning my name
like a liquid tiara
for a princess
in a cruel land.
So I wished s...
Tuesday 3rd February 2015 6:53 pm
Fragments of my heart began to scatter like narrowed tears,
Foraging the pieces to corrade together, 'till the very near.
I frech as I hear the boastful brontides approach
Agonously attempting to grasp on to my unconvienent hopes.
My eyes are discerpted, bleeding tears of remorse
Time had fleered me from its natural habitat
Balefully, it mocked my optimistic ways
Sunday 5th October 2014 1:37 am
I trace my finger
in a cloud
I don’t clean
I sit and stare
at the places
you have been
before the rage
Monday 23rd September 2013 11:17 pm
kissing your neck
the grey clouds
on a Tuesday
Thursday 16th May 2013 10:50 am
They say you cannot live without me,
yet I am happy lying here alone –
adrift on an ocean of Axminster.
You didn’t miss me until you were finished
and by then it was far too late.
I was just one of your many pretty pieces,
inconsequential to the scheme of things,
until I was the only thing you needed.
By then I was safely hidden away,
Friday 5th April 2013 10:09 am
This make-up’s dried upon my face,
gone cracked with age and wear.
I can’t remove this absurd mask.
You’ll never know how much I care.
The girl with pretty eyes will smile,
the clown, so sad, will sigh.
Another chance has passed away.
Another star lights the sky.
You see the clown and laugh at him,
I turn away and cry,
Tuesday 2nd April 2013 10:10 am
LANDSCAPE OF TEARS
I sense that you are near me,
close enough to touch, right now.
In my mind.
No one else can see you next to me
but I do. As we are now,
we once were in reality
at some time in our history.
Your spirit never leaves me
and your ghost forever haunts me,
your love is my saviour intertwining
me in your spiders web of hearsay....
Monday 11th June 2012 7:43 pm