emotional pain (Remove filter)
The Pain of love
Stroke your mind with the thoughts of love
The good memories, the bad
The rise and the fall
Our minds a autumn love that comes and goes with the leaves
You dont have to be scared we've been here before
Lets Love, lets laugh
Lets let love bleed
But when is the bleeding enough
Our minds carosel between the love in front of us
The hate in the past
we are nothing short...
Sunday 17th December 2023 8:07 pm
Regret
I watched myself turn to something,
A person I was afraid to be.
Swallowed by anger, hatred and resentment,
I kept my head high for too long,
I couldn't bear what I was.
A retard and a drunkard with a lost soul,
Sold into trauma trying to please people.
Put them at ease, subtle hypnosis.
Pain, regret and depression served,
Don't know if that's karma saved for me.
T...
Friday 1st October 2021 7:38 am
Regrets
Feelings died
and I just lied
we merely lived as two
I waited for
an open door
while walls between us grew
my heart was sad
for what we had
while I only waited to
run from your touch
though you tried so much
but I simply wanted new
& I knew that
we couldn’t go back
to what we had before–
though my heart breaks,
and my mind aches
with pain hard to explore,
we should both be fr...
Saturday 6th March 2021 9:54 am
Photomask
*
time stopped after faces smiled--
squinting at square time-capsuled windows
books packed, amber remains to portray
slices of cryogenic experience
yellowed paper in brittle plastic sheathes
stare back at me-- voices call
to the nowhere places that are not
wishing, wondering, "what if?"
--look for some dimensional door
some resemble me too, horribly so
the mocker looks artificial,...
Wednesday 10th February 2021 6:19 pm
BROKEN
CRASH...
SPLINTERS
PIECES
UNMENDABLE...
DREAMS
PROMISES
HEARTS.
IT HURTS WITH GRAVE PAIN
YET, LIFE THEY SAY,
IS BUT A DREAM...
Saturday 26th September 2020 10:19 pm
Happiness
Happiness was you. Happiness was us. Happiness was us and a cat. Now it’s just a cat. Not even our memories are happiness, tainted by the reality of which I’m living. Every trip down memory lane is a reminder that it’s just me and our beautiful boy. No memory looks the same as it was. Every laugh, every tear, every whisper, every hand that connected, every time you said I love you, means nothing n...
Monday 17th August 2020 8:39 am
Doubt
The beach isn't a beach
if it sans the sea
Just a random strip of sand
scorching, dry
on a hot summer day
The night doesn't fall
till the sun goes away
paving way
for it to dazzle
in its own way
Am I the night
that needs the sun
to dissappear,
to mark my presence
or simply the beach
which will be nothing without the sea?
Monday 10th February 2020 11:13 am
Courage
It's been a hard day
Smiling pretending everything is fine
If I pretend it feels better
If I do it enough it hurts less
I haven't texted you all day
I haven't ran to you
I keep telling myself I don't need you anymore
I keep telling myself I don't love you
But a voice in my head keeps saying, " Be patient, be kind, show yourself self-love."
Then I look at my arm the word ...
Thursday 30th January 2020 5:14 pm
the things you left
You left me
half-full plant pot ashtrays, old mugs of midnight teas, a jacket you spent too much on, the dregs from cheap red wine, rolled up train tickets, desecrated baggies,
and a dent on your side of the bed.
Tuesday 12th November 2019 11:00 pm
A poem about a dream
As I took a breath, this morning
I wondered what it'd be
To be a body without life
and a body without feel
What feels like such a trauma
is also a reason to live
Cuz this is how we learn to fly after a fall
and how we dare to dare
I've known a lot of stories
and eyes that would tell more tales
But not every soul would speak up
nor every silence would stay put
I longed to take a s...
Friday 22nd March 2019 9:09 am
kill me.
Pain in my stomach, heart, mind,
stabs of a knife
I yearn for this piercing pain
I've lacked it far too long.
Ungrateful love:
Punch me, hurt me, kill me almost.
Almost.
so later
when the rain has ceased
a flower can bloom again
a new blossom
the same plant
Revive me, ungrateful love
Make me another
Kill me.
Friday 11th January 2019 11:07 pm
Free-Falling
I’m losing my mind.
Don’t you understand?
I’m desperately reaching out for your hand.
Don’t leave me hanging, slipping, falling…
down into the endless abyss of darkness,
Never destined to land.
You’ve saved me once before,
But this time there are no safety ropes.
I’m free-falling, plummeting, going down…
My only hope Is for you to save me now.
I’m losing my ...
Monday 18th June 2018 2:59 pm
When You Look At Me What Do You See
All the hurt is making me stronger, The deceitful ways help me strive for better days,
I know how it feels not to be loved by your loved ones
I know how it feels to be cold,
Living with no heat, three pairs of socks on my feet,
Still I stay strong in the mist of my storm
Knowing my self worth is better than not knowing at all,
So many stumbles and falls I took to see me,
...
Monday 18th June 2018 2:56 pm
Real Life Nightmare
Every moment to fear,
Forever holding back internal tears.
Life- so complicated,
forever indecisive.
The world too big, too scary,
my mind so full of queries.
Never certain, never happy,
each decision could be deadly.
An escapes impossible,
every outcomes implausible.
Sinking under water,
Always being taken for a martyr.
The pain runs so deep,
Barely able to ...
Sunday 17th June 2018 11:34 pm
Does She know?
Does she know?
I log onto Facebook
I go onto your page.
I see her.
And I think.....
Does she know about me?
Does she know about all your lies?
Does she know how I craved your attention?
Does she know how many hours we would spend talking about our lives, our dreams, and OUR future?
Does she know how many times you told me you loved me?
Does she know you just wa...
Monday 12th February 2018 6:50 am
untitled.
My depression is like an animal biting on my leg.
Some days I have the energy to make it go away even for a little bit,
like throwing a tennis ball to a dog, but it always comes back
It feels like I keep throwing the tennis ball over and over again to feel less miserable
but I just make myself tired trying to get rid of my misery.
My body aches to feel something other than sadness.
...Saturday 10th February 2018 5:29 am
Diary Of The Southern Queen Entry #4 {No More Love Here}
{Diary Of The Southern Queen Entry #4} {No More Love Here}
No more love here
No more time for
you here
No more loyalty
here for you
No more of my
valuable time for
you
No more hearing
my say I love you
too
No more of me
holding you tight
all night because
that's now long
gone `n` so
through
No more of me
having to listen
...Saturday 9th December 2017 3:25 am
Afeared rose
He gave me a rose today,
It was not any Rose day,
But for his brutish words last night,
I know he is sorry so I smiled.
He gave me a rose today,
It was not our anniversary day,
But for the blood I haemorrhage last night,
I know he loves me so I smiled.
He gave me a rose today,
It was not Valentine's day,
But for the clash we had last night,
I know he cares for me so I smiled.
He gave m...
Tuesday 26th September 2017 3:26 am
Blunt
Your words are hollow,
your words I swallow,
time and time again
even after
action did not follow,
I still swallowed
and in return
every piece I gave,
my soul, my heart,
my disturbing brain
and you just left me
standing in the rain
carrying my pain
so dismayed I caved
into shame.
The rage a blunt stain
upon the page.
©JMCole
Sunday 20th August 2017 2:20 pm
Bipolar & My Brother
I wear a mask every day of my life,
It causes me pain & stress,
It makes my life such a chaotic mess,
I wish this mask would lift,
However, nevertheless, it’s a part of me.
I wear the mask of lies,
There are so many things in my life, that I am in denial to myself,
I wear this mask, it causes me to feel torn,
My eyes are broken,
They make me see such things like a u...
Wednesday 5th April 2017 1:41 pm
My Demon
Many words Ive put to papers in an effort to taper
the stress of life's capers hoping it vanishes like vapor
but their lies deep inside a wound that hides and may never find treatment
an indecent demon dreaming of beatings so frequent
No reason for the recent fleeting secret meetings and agreements
he's attempting quite tenaciously to tear this tainted wound open voraciously
and fatally, ...
Monday 13th June 2016 9:21 am
If Pain Had No Beauty
If pain had no beauty
Where else would we be?
Loose, languid expression,
Scorned sobriety,
Unhurried of humbling;
Relational depth,
Our hearts and minds spread less
Than their broadest breadth.
Saturday 19th July 2014 5:00 pm
FATHERHOOD GONE AWRY!
Father's very strict, mother's very weak
Beatings too harsh for a daughter of only 3
You wished that I had died Daddy
You even said it out loud
but i loved you anyhow
Forbidden to walk on the carpet
I was just not good enough
I've tried to fulfill your wishes Daddy
Fifteen times I tried somehow
I ran under buses, in front of cars even.
I took hundreds of pills Daddy
...Tuesday 10th June 2014 1:38 am
Daddy edited poem
My brother
called you back
from the edge
of death.
But you were
in so much
pain, and you
had suffered enough.
We said good bye,
My Mother, My sister,
My brother and I.
We held each
other and
we cried.
The day that
you left us.
The day
...
Wednesday 21st August 2013 9:17 pm
Depression
Some people try
to force a
smile from me,
but it's futile.
Sometimes they figure
out somethings wrong,
sometimes not.
Some actually get
angry because I
don't just
"Snap out of it."
So I pretend
everything's OK.
But I'm secretly
crumbling deep inside.
Th...
Tuesday 11th December 2012 5:56 pm
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