mental health issues (Remove filter)
Where My Feet Won’t Go (Stuck)
A call rushed at me, "Just walk!"
Yet, something holds me back.
I’m not sure what it is.
It feels heavy.
I can’t tell its exact weight,
But I know for certain it's heavier than my body,
For my body surely cannot move.
It feels as though I'm tied up,
So much so that I can't even wave my hand,
Just to give a sign for help.
I’m not sure what it is.
Or perhaps, it's a bruise that has ...
Wednesday 9th October 2024 1:33 pm
going blind
i know you’re disappointed in me
we always scream for hours and fight
until i decide to go out on a walk by the big oak tree
even though i can barely see the sidewalk at night
im starting to think that i can’t see in general anymore
i look in the mirror and see someone new
it’s like i’ve never seen her before
i wonder if you feel that way about me too
my therapist...
Monday 22nd July 2024 5:07 am
Escalate
Is there something to explain?
Is there someone left to blame?
Do you know why you are here?
Would you rather disappear?
As there's so many young people out there
Looking for the same thing
And there's so many young people out there
Trying to play the blame game
So listen up young people
Tell me what it is inside
Trying to cut away your heart strings
and ...
Monday 8th April 2024 11:38 am
HONOUR MY CHOICE
So I've thought out this letter for so long as the times have changed my words have too everything changes but my mind this windowless prison permanent guard oh shadowed screw
Understand ..This was carefully planned
I did consider all options fooling myself..knowing other options weren't an option
Constantly fighting and am tired I'm locked away double pad locked and it's co...
Monday 22nd August 2022 2:40 am
24.09.20
Tick tick tick
Tap tap tap
The clock ticks down
On an inevitable time bomb
That is my collapse
You're the only thing keeping me together
A solid foundation
You never let me down
Or abandon me
Coz there's nothing you need from me
Except perfection
Show up at meetings
Plan everything
Be everything, for everyone
I can be a wreck
But I'm the perfect p...
Monday 24th May 2021 11:15 am
Unlovable
24.09.20
She's a lot
Too much
For her self
Or anybody else
Keep giving
And pouring
Into a never ending void
Keep loving
The unlovable
And I'll tear you apart too
You sampled the poisen
And it tasted so sweet
Just enough to make you sick
Stay with me
If you want
I won't beg
Monday 24th May 2021 11:10 am
For Lease
16.09.20
Empty space
A hole to fill up
A vacant vessel
An empty lot
This soul is for rent
At the cheapest price
Give me joy, give me compliments
And I'll make your night
A house made a home
And weekends made perfect
Just tell me I'm pretty
Make me feel worthy
But take it away and I'll tear don these walls
Rip this house to the ground
And spit on the floor
My...
Monday 24th May 2021 11:06 am
Paranoia
25.03.20
When your brain is used to trickery
It eats itself alive
Deceit is all you know
And the way you have survived
Be vigilant with friends
And vigilant with foes
On guard for lies so constantly
Analysis in tow
Are they truthful in their words?
Your brain it analyses
Putting piece and piece together
A puzzle it disguises
There's a slip says your mind
Some evidence...
Thursday 13th May 2021 10:08 am
Burden
Am I a burden or a blessing?
Until now I've brought you pain,
nitpicked neurotic neural pathways
produced images of you burdening people
nuked your brain by old beliefs.
The pitter patter of your baby
put like a seal pup on your chest
but I was there for stop her suckling,
I didn't want her to breathe
No-one except me knew you bitch.
After all we've been thr...
Wednesday 24th March 2021 1:39 pm
A Mess of Future Heathens
Seeing the shadow in vision
Getting feared of what the great poison
Hiding out back to the scratch
Tired of being what they're interpreted
To be looked up in the sun
To be puked in deep water run
To be lost in relief distance
I was fight,
But no lights were made
So where is is heading through wind?
Passing it off to be betrayed and seen
That soak tree's been relied on
As this volt i...
Monday 7th December 2020 5:02 pm
OCD.
Tick, Tock.
Look at the clock.
Wait seven seconds.
Look at the clock.
Wait seven seconds.
Look at the clock.
Wait seven seconds.
Look at the
Wait---
Tip, Tap.
Each finger raps the desk.
Once then twice then thrice.
Each finger raps the desk.
Once then twice then thrice.
Each finger raps the desk.
Once then twice then thrice.
Each finger
Once-...
Tuesday 7th January 2020 10:41 am
As The Sun Rises
I lay on a hard mattress curled in the foetal position,
wrapped in a chrysalis of darkness.
A fancy metaphor could not explain the meaning of life,
it had simply become irrelevant.
I had become so skinny that my skin was pulled
guitar string taut over aching bones,
that doctors had threatened to hospitalise me.
But now, allergic to life, my skin peeled at the thought of being.
...Monday 30th September 2019 12:18 pm
Psychotic Girl
lying in the bath, curled in a daze
staring at my hand, ring finger twitching
eyes losing focus, antipsychotics sedating
right foot twitching, clinically agitated
stomach protruding, appetite increased
screams of bubbles bursting, whispers intruding
scent of my body, artificial strawberry
ignore the shouts, but they hurt me
mountains of bubbles, naïve body purifying
pray...
Sunday 15th September 2019 7:57 am
Where’s me head? [Where is my head?]
Where’s me head? [Where is my head?]
Where’s me head? … It’s in the sand
Its life has gotten out of hand
Things very rarely go as planned
If I do or I don’t, I end up damned
Where’s me head? … It’s way out west
It’s tired of people who know best
It needs a break, it needs a rest
It needs to get shit off its chest
Where’s me head? … It’s lost the plot
It...
Thursday 12th September 2019 3:04 am
Adut Akech, Depression and Mental Heath
Adut Akech, Depression and Mental Heath
Adut Akech Adelaide model
Is the biggest fashion superstar in the world
She just turned 19 here at Christmas
And waiting for her world to unfurl
Despite the famous smile she displays
Underneath she's in pain with depression
Like Robin Williams who suicided
Let's talk mental health, learn some lessons
She'd wake up ea...
Thursday 14th March 2019 9:04 am
Can't Escape
You try to escape the demons
But they latch on way too tight,
Their claws digging into my body
And mind, with all their might.
Fighting is exhausting,
It physically and mentally drains.
But still I endure it, hoping
One day I will finally escape the pain.
Tuesday 19th June 2018 10:05 pm
A Bipolar Mind
Each day, more exhausting than the last.
Time goes far too slowly, or too fast.
you're either extremely low, or elevated.
People either love you, or you're hated.
There is no middle ground
- no inbetween.
Everything is one extreme.
you're either Jekyll or you're Hyde.
It is a never ending fight.
You're a walking contradiction ,
With no explanation,
No cha...
Monday 18th June 2018 3:58 pm
Real Life Nightmare
Every moment to fear,
Forever holding back internal tears.
Life- so complicated,
forever indecisive.
The world too big, too scary,
my mind so full of queries.
Never certain, never happy,
each decision could be deadly.
An escapes impossible,
every outcomes implausible.
Sinking under water,
Always being taken for a martyr.
The pain runs so deep,
Barely able to ...
Sunday 17th June 2018 11:34 pm
Canaries in the Mine
Canaries in the mine.
Kids that cut themselves.
New mums on Prozac,
Calpol poured down tiny throats.
Twelve year olds try ketamine
(already smoking weed).
Prepubescent boys
ask to drink girl’s pussy juice.
‘Mum, what does he mean?’
A teenage girl has overdosed.
Everybody’s glued to screens.
Can anybody see
canaries in the ...
Friday 8th June 2018 1:11 pm
Diary Of The Southern Queen Entry #37 {Multiple Personalities Disorder}
Dissociative identity disorder, previously called multiple personality disorder, is usually a reaction to trauma as a way to help a person avoid bad memories.
Dissociative identity disorder is characterized by the presence of two or more distinct personality identities. Each may have a unique name, personal history, and characteristics.
Sorry to say that's not me or never has been ...
Thursday 14th December 2017 7:42 pm
Would they care?
would they care???
it seems like a void
waking up trapped inside
should i live another day?
should i rather die?
would they know im gone?
would they feel bad??
would they miss me forever?
or will it pass like a fad?
surely they will move on
thats how life works
but they wont be Able to replace me
they should miss my quirks
but is this life worth living??
i ponder deep and wit...
Thursday 14th December 2017 1:19 pm
OCD
O-C-D-C
1-2-3;
D-C-O-C
4-5-6;
Must touch once, twice, thrice!
Otherwise I must pay the price!
Penetrating thoughts that won’t go away,
Compulsions that haunt me day by day,
Anxiety comes, anxiety goes,
Got guilt, depression and so much obsession.
O-C-D-C
1-2-3;
C-D-O-D
Please leave me!
Thursday 29th June 2017 1:54 am
Lost
I can't find it anywhere,
It's gone, disappeared,
Hidden somewhere dark.
I looked amongst the books,
I searched the internet,
I even checked the fridge.
I don't know where I put it,
I tried to keep it safe,
I don't remember where it is.
People have helped me look,
First a lady doctor,
Then a psychiatrist.
The CPN, she looked around,
She ev...
Monday 30th January 2017 10:24 pm
Lemons
They say, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
You start slicing those lemons
Knife slips
Where's the first aid?
The lemons are too sour to put in a drink
The sugar runs out
The water rusty from the kitchen sink
The lemons keep coming
They're heavy to hold
From innocent lemonade stands
To bags of lemons turning to mold
Wednesday 7th January 2015 5:32 am
Fey Times
Fey Times
Oh this unwelcome thing in my head has returned on this beautiful July summers day. I felt its onset, of this thing, last night. My sleep was troubled. Like a few rough waves before the cyclone hits home. An hour ago it hit me, a varied mental assault. Anxiety machine gunning my mind. Taking no prisoners here.
Hidden inner darkness rattles its lid and wants to escape the box. F...
Monday 22nd July 2013 7:09 pm
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