a bad habit
i find myself texting you late at night
until you block me i’ll keep on coming back
wish i was only here out of spite
but in reality i need to talk to someone during my panic attack
i know it’s selfish to use you for reassurance
however it’s the only thing that can soothe my racing mind
and i haven’t gotten enough money for insurance
so i hope it doesn’t make you feel c...
Monday 22nd July 2024 5:12 am
late night walking
used to take things before going on walks
it’d be dark and cold
and i’d be underdressed
i couldn’t seem to withhold
i’d stumble around the neighborhood
trees and leaves would move
even though there was no breeze
i couldn’t seem to mentally improve
i grew more and more detached
would walk by a half way house everynight
i thought that perhaps that would one ...
Monday 22nd July 2024 5:10 am
going blind
i know you’re disappointed in me
we always scream for hours and fight
until i decide to go out on a walk by the big oak tree
even though i can barely see the sidewalk at night
im starting to think that i can’t see in general anymore
i look in the mirror and see someone new
it’s like i’ve never seen her before
i wonder if you feel that way about me too
my therapist...
Monday 22nd July 2024 5:07 am
one day i'll be a star
told you about all my hopes and dreams
I wanna be a writer and teacher,
the only things I feel like i'd be good at
you ask to see my work and I refuse to show you
a few months later I joke about how funny I am
you say I should become a comedian
to be honest I've thought about it
why not dump all my trauma onto people and merely laugh it off?
after we broke up I t...
Wednesday 3rd April 2024 1:16 pm
juxtaposition
you look at me like i'm insane
i can't tell if i am
if I turned out to be psychotic
would I even be this self-aware?
i put on obnoxious amounts of chapstick
cotton candy or strawberry-flavored
it severely drys out my lips
but I know you'll think of me when you see it at the store
I always attempt to blow up my life
just because you left me again
you run ever...
Friday 22nd March 2024 2:02 pm
i miss being your daughter
we were close when i was little
you called me your sugar plum fairy
sat by my bed when my dreams were too scary
I didn't know then that our relationship was so brittle
you have mixed feelings about your own mother
maybe that's why you act the way you do
you rip me apart and then try to patch me up with glue
we both know you wouldn't ever do that to my brother
you ...
Monday 18th March 2024 11:52 am
unachievable dreams
didn't wake up with the intention of being bad
I don't know why there's a pit in my stomach when no one is dead
run around my house and verbally beat up my dad
the screams sound bloodshed
he says, "there's so much you wanna do"
and i obvert my eyes
wait around for a mental break-through
and make unachievable plans doing the highs
i wanna be a savior
and get th...
Friday 15th March 2024 2:39 am
chronic pain
i'm sick of doing the best i can
because it isn't ever enough
if I can't be good,
what's the point of being here at all?
I never sleep well anymore
even though I tell the doctors I sleep fine
I just stare at the ceiling
and live through the lives of others
sit in class with an ache behind my eyes
I can't even tell if the pain is real
excedrin can only do so much
and I think my toler...
Thursday 14th March 2024 1:25 pm
supporting the economy
my worth is always fluctuating
you talk to me like I'm worth nothing
but when it's past nine pm I'm priceless
I can't tell if I'm a commodity
you told me you liked me out of the blue
it was almost out of impulse
like that pretty journal, you bought but never used
both are just things that are nice to have around
you didn't need to do that
you had plenty of things at home stuffed in yo...
Thursday 14th March 2024 1:23 pm
the moon and the sun
you told me i’d only fail
laugh at my hopes and dreams
you act as if i’m frail
there’s often reoccurring themes
you know i’m not dumb
it’s just that you don’t care
so don’t ask me for gum
and don’t you give me that stare
i don’t know how we ever got along
we’re opposites like the moon and the sun
you probably think you’re the moon, but i think that you’re...
Thursday 14th March 2024 1:21 pm
Recent Comments
Clare on Man With the Big Set of Keys.
1 hour ago
Red Brick Keshner on Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh
4 hours ago
TobaniNataiella on Man With the Big Set of Keys.
4 hours ago
John Marks on POLICING THE LANGUAGE
6 hours ago
Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh on The War on the West
7 hours ago
Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh on I Will Not Wear The Baggy Trousers Of Old Age.
7 hours ago
Graham Sherwood on I Will Not Wear The Baggy Trousers Of Old Age.
7 hours ago
David RL Moore on The last laureates
8 hours ago
Tom Doolan on If Only
9 hours ago
David RL Moore on The War on the West
9 hours ago