Life Advice to My Younger Self
I’d tell the younger me, that everyone makes.
Poor life choices, bad decisions, and mistakes.
You will lose loved ones; you will be heartbroken.
You’ll say regrettable things you’ll wish you’d left unspoken.
There will be times when you want to be alone, and times when you are lonely.
A million “what if’s” and a billion “if only’s”
Whilst your memories of...
Friday 1st October 2021 12:11 am
The Butterfly Effect
The butterfly effect is the idea that tiny things
have a non-linear impact on a complex entity
Imagine, in Brazil a butterfly flaps its wings
Creating a hurricane in a Mexican City
I lack the mental capacity and mathematical intellect
To grasp the finer points of the Butterfly Effect
But I do know this, when you walk in the room
My ticker goes shicka-licka, shacka-la...
Thursday 24th October 2019 3:54 am
This Chemical Romance
We’ve a chemical romance, we’ve got chemistry
We have covalent bonds that attract you and me
Our shared electron pairs formed a lasting attraction
We’re drawn to each other, a combination reaction
Our chemical elements were destined to bind
My yin and your yang complete and defined
When I’m in your embrace its Oxytocin heaven
You’re sweeter than Carbon12, H...
Sunday 20th October 2019 1:30 am
Love Me Tinder Love Me Do ... Looking For Love In The Modern Age
Love me Tinder Love me do … Looking for love in the modern age
I recently found myself single, it came as no surprise
The relationship gradually dwindled culminating in total demise
I’ve not wooed a girl with a chat up line for over twenty-one years
I’m told nowadays love is found on-line and it’s easier than it appears.
There’s a plethora of single ladies with profiles on...
Friday 18th October 2019 11:04 pm
Happy Splashing
Tyre cuts through puddle
Tsunami drenched to the bones
“You Fucking Wanker!”
Afterword
My third crack at the Senryu poetry form. 3 non rhyming lines, 17 sylables arranged 5,7,5
Friday 27th September 2019 11:59 am
Cats and Dogs
Heavens open up.
Cats and dogs cascading down.
People disappear.
Afterword
My second crack at the Senryu poetry form. 3 non rhyming lines, 17 sylables arranged 5,7,5
Friday 27th September 2019 11:53 am
Six
Leather on willow.
Arms raised index fingers proud.
The crowd goes barmy.
Afterword
My first crack at the Senryu poetry form. 3 non rhyming lines, 17 sylables arranged 5,7,5
Friday 27th September 2019 11:47 am
Killing Time Ain't no Crime
Killing Time Ain't no Crime
My date is at five and it’s six am
That’s eleven hours between now and then
That’s six hundred and sixty minutes I reckon
Or thirty-nine thousand and six hundred seconds
They’re ticking by, but not fast enough
They’re tic, tic, tic, tic, ticking me off
The time ain’t flying, it’s got me sighing
The minutes grind by and it’s crucifying
As ...
Monday 23rd September 2019 3:36 am
Where’s me head? [Where is my head?]
Where’s me head? [Where is my head?]
Where’s me head? … It’s in the sand
Its life has gotten out of hand
Things very rarely go as planned
If I do or I don’t, I end up damned
Where’s me head? … It’s way out west
It’s tired of people who know best
It needs a break, it needs a rest
It needs to get shit off its chest
Where’s me head? … It’s lost the plot
It...
Thursday 12th September 2019 3:04 am
The folly of lust
Preamble
As a teen, my mam used to put the mockers on my Friday nights out by saying “If you meet any girls treat them with respect, they are someone’s daughter or sister, don’t be having any casual sex or one-night stands”
Last Saturday night I was out with my mate
He is meeting his bird, I am on a blind date
He’d said she was fit, but from where I was sat
She looks like ...
Friday 17th May 2019 2:53 am
Going back on my roots
My Northern English heritage has always been a source of personal pride
I’ve always believed that I was born the right side of the North/South divide
An industrial revolutionary raised from the stock of the working classes
A staunch belief in equal rights, human rights and justice for the masses
So as a man of principal, it’s hard to ditch my northern sisters and brothers
To head so...
Saturday 11th May 2019 1:32 am
Mr Robinson
No time for you, Mr. Robinson
Jesus loves you less than you would know
Woe woe woe
God help me please, Mr. Robinson
Heaven holds no place for those who hate
Hate Hate Hate, Hate Hate Hate
Here you are in Manchester spouting your pathetic shite
We'd like to help you learn to f*%# yourself
Look around you all you see are unsympathetic eyes
Stroll around our town but w...
Friday 3rd May 2019 12:20 am
My Fifty Second Birthday Treat
The total candles on the cake, numbered fifty-two.
I couldn't extinguish fifty-two flames no matter how hard I blew.
The heat became tremendous as the flames grew higher & higher.
The birthday treat turned from a cake into a ball of fire.
Once all the wax had melted, the inferno then decreased.
I could tell by the looks on faces, that no one wanted a piece.
Monday 29th April 2019 5:34 am
Cheap as chips
These “have not” flats look cheap and nasty
The “haves” would like them, to look more snazzy
The Council beautify them, by simply adding
Some aesthetically pleasing, dirt cheap cladding
Some cheap Charlie puts the finance up
Some cheap shot drafts the plans up
Installed on the cheap, by some cheap skate
Now the “haves” down the road have been heard to state
That these ...
Sunday 7th April 2019 1:39 am
Ode to Biggie Juice
He was going to be good … but the day was full of strife
Leave on time, home for five, a cheery “Hi Honey” for the wife
He’s planned his route to the station, avoiding all temptation
To slip in a bar, for a quiet one and some idle conversation
As he does from time to time to take the edge off the day
To chill it out, wind it down and give the brain a holiday
From t...
Tuesday 26th March 2019 7:42 am
Amazing but True
Capuchin Monkeys, wash their feet, using their own wee
Three percent of Antarctic ice, is made up of Penguin pee
When Dragonflies mate, their tails link and form the shape of a heart
Whilst the Kangaroo is able to swim, the poor thing is unable to fart
Elephants can regulate their body heat just by flapping their ears
When a snail decides, it’s time for a kip, it can sleep for ...
Tuesday 19th March 2019 1:19 pm
Was it a waste of an egg?
Was it a waste of an egg?
The one that broke on your head
Made you blow like a powder keg
Maybe Fraser
Catapulted you into the limelight
But not in a very good light
The figurehead of the far right
Defending murder, your kind perpetrate
You dare to suggest that the victims of hate
Were somehow the architects of their own fate?
Are you crazy Fraser?
...
Tuesday 19th March 2019 8:03 am
DIYing
Tired of feathering this death nest
Should be ticking my bucket list
Whiling not tiling
Scouting not grouting
Adventuring not rendering
Raving not paving
Dancing not fencing
Soaring not flooring
Sating not painting
Travelling not gravelling
Aspiring not rewiring
Being not doing
Living not DIYing
Sunday 17th March 2019 4:41 pm
I Hate Cats!
I hate felines, I hate cats
They’re nasty, malicious little prats
They always land on their feet
They may look fluffy, cute and sweet
But they’ve needles for teeth and razors for claws
That they conceal inside their paws.
I hate their mewl, I hate their wail.
The cocky way they flick their tail.
The way they hiss, and arch their back
Before launching into a vicious ...
Tuesday 12th March 2019 8:40 am
A Woman Without Her Man
For IWD 2019 let's consider the following:
"A woman ...
... without her man ...
... is less than nothing"
At first sight the words appear as chauvinistic text
But without proper punctuation, they lack conviction and context
Let's make a simple change to strike #BalanceForBetter
By punctuating the spaces between ...
Friday 8th March 2019 7:40 am
Knife Crimes
The words on their own make for a lacklustre poem.
The pictures on their own are meaningles.
Together they paint a harrowing picture
https://youtu.be/h_SVunXSgik
Friday 8th March 2019 6:49 am
Ee By Gum
Ee by gum, what will become
Of ISIS mum, Shamima Begum
She pleads ...
I was only fifteen young and naive
When I packed up my bags and decided to leave
But as it turns out I was tricked and deceived
By ISIS propaganda and glossy make believe
I had a good time in Syria but lately it's rough
So I want to come home now cos I've had enough
I'd appreciate s...
Wednesday 6th March 2019 12:13 am
Dying Art
In this modern age of communication
It would seem the art of conversation
Is fast becoming a dying art
Its deteriorating and falling apart
Shouldn’t technology improve our lot
Comms on the move, Comms in a jot
But DM, IM and SMS
Have turned our comms into a mess
The standard of language is coming down
The i-generation are dumbing down
LOL is no laughing matter
TXT ...
Thursday 28th February 2019 3:48 am
Georgie Pell Puddin' and Pie
Georgie Pell, puddin’ and pie,
Kissed the boys and made them cry
When the piper came for pay
Georgie Pell feigned dismay
As gods his witness on the stand
The holy book in his holy hand
So help me god he swears his oath
And here’s the part I really loathe
Instead of the truth, the whole truth and nothing but
All that issues forth is smut
Did you feel remorse as yo...
Wednesday 27th February 2019 6:50 am
Non Omnis Moriar (I Shall Not Wholly Die)
One day will come and with its break
I will rest, my soul depart
Had I the choice, I would refuge take
Within the sanctuary of your heart
So hush my sweet, shed not a tear
Feel not sorrow, grief or pain
For I am always with you, always near
And here always I'll remain
For one day will come and with its dawn
You too will tire of these days
Then together we wi...
Wednesday 27th February 2019 2:44 am
21st Century Vows
I pledge to …
Make you smile, make you laugh
Scrub your back in the bath
Smooth your brow, free of frowns
Pick you up when you fall down
Dry your tears, ease your fears
Rev your engine, change your gears
Kill your pain, nurse your ills
Amaze your brain and give you thrills
Tell you stories, hear your tales
Be the wind that fills your sails
Stroll hand in hand on pr...
Tuesday 26th February 2019 1:32 am
Terence Evans
Terence Evans had little respect
For the life or the welfare of any insect
He swatted the fly with the rolled daily news
And stamped on the beetle in his Doc Marten shoes
Unfortunate spiders were drowned in the bath
Caterpillars were crushed should they dare cross his path
He bisected worms with his pocket penknife
Pulled the legs off cray-fly and...
Monday 25th February 2019 2:20 am
Dawn
I’ll never forget the day that I met Dawn from Didcot.
Her eyes like pools of fire, all watery and bloodshot.
I found her reminiscent of all of the four seasons.
For a very wide and varied number of notable reasons.
She was Reminiscent of Spring time, of April showers and dew.
Because every time she Shpoke, she shpat all over you.
She reminded me of Winter, of icic...
Thursday 21st February 2019 11:50 pm
Autocorrect and predictive text ruined my chance of romance and sex
Warning this poem contains adult themes and grown up words
Curse my fat fingers and my phone
Honey Bunch became Hunchy Bone
Predictive text put my words through a mangle
Angel face got changed to angle
Sweetie Pie to Sweaty Pit
I think you’re shy, became you’re shit
Be as one and never part …
To be a swine and a pervert
And Be the Captain of your heart
became the...
Thursday 21st February 2019 10:02 am
In love with a boy
For those of you who know me well
This may come as a surprise
It may cause you to exclaim "bloody hell"
And a widening of your eyes
See I've a secret I need to tell
And I've come to realise
It's time to come out of my shell
As I've lived a life of lies
So no more beating round the bush
Now is not the time to be coy
For it seems that shove has come to push
I'v...
Thursday 21st February 2019 9:55 am
Ten Thousand Pricks at her Fingertips
She’s got ten thousand pricks
at her finger tips
Ruby red lips and swaying hips
A true Rubenesque beauty when she strips
Heads turn, Jaws drop and eyes pop out on stalks
Wolf whistles follow her whenever and wherever she walks
Her extensive list
of superlatives
ranges from exquisite to divine
She’s out a sight
She’s dynamite
This girl would blow your mind
When s...
Thursday 21st February 2019 2:45 am
Monica Lewinsky
Monica Lewinsky rose to fame.
After playing the kissing game.
From little known novice.
To tabloid sex goddess.
By kissing Willy.......
........Clinton
In the Oval office.
Spoken Word Link Below
https://youtu.be/tatdJf41vcM
Thursday 21st February 2019 2:33 am
Mediocre Town
The dawn never breaks, the sun never sets.
Dirty grey brown sky is as good as it gets.
Malevolent and brooding it hangs like a veil.
Twenty-three feet above the Arndale.
Where uncouth youth roam in packs.
Their flint like scowls as keen as tacks.
Malice and boredom forged the frowns.
On the not so bright future of Mediocre Town.
But don’t be fooled, these kids are scho...
Wednesday 20th February 2019 12:36 am
Box of Dark Things
Too many people suffering in isolation, lets start a conversation.
Monday …
day one of the slide …
and I’ve managed to quell the dark things inside.
I take a deep breath, supress the sigh …
push out my chest and hold my head high
The flex and the dark things are tidied away
A quick self-esteem pep-talk, then face the new day
It’s by no means plain sailing but I cope, strugg...
Tuesday 19th February 2019 4:34 pm
Exit Stage Left
If the Brexit Breferendum had been Branded Bremain would the outcome have differed, #thepowerofspin.
BrExit, whose Brainchild was that,
Disenfranchised by Brussles and BrEurocrats.
Burning our Bridges to Brace the Breeches.
Of borders Brexploited by Brigands and Leeches.
But were we too Brash? Perhaps a tad Brisk.
To Brexit stage left before assessing the risk.
Did the Br...
Tuesday 19th February 2019 4:11 pm
Truly Beloved Customer Care
Dear Truly Beloved Customer Care
I have a small problem with one of your wares
I’m not after a new one or a replacement spare
Just wondered if this one is not beyond repair
In Ninety-One you gave me this heart
Which really was awfully sweet
I wasn’t too smart, broke it apart
How I’ve tried to make it complete
Yet now I fear, after 23 years, it appears
I have cocked up it...
Tuesday 19th February 2019 3:56 pm
The day you died all I felt was disappointment
I cursed the day that you were born.
I waited, breath baited, for your last to be drawn.
I’d always imagined that when the day came.
I’d celebrate your demise with the finest champagne.
That on the day you laid down and died.
There’d be joy in my heart and a spring in my stride.
I’d throw my hands high in the air and wave.
I’d skip through the streets to dance o...
Tuesday 19th February 2019 3:43 pm
Impulse
Whilst strolling from work, my attention was caught
By a sensuous smell, of the perfumed sort
My passion was aroused, my senses began to swirl
On inhaling the scent, of this sweet-smelling girl
Oblivious to danger with a skip and a hop
I dashed across the road into the florist’s shop
I then grabbed a bouquet from the top of the range
And ran from the shop forgetting the change
...Tuesday 19th February 2019 3:27 pm
The Noise of War
We were soldiers once.......and young
Call of duty was different them days
Earth clod grenades and sticks for guns
No gaming machines or blue rays
Battle lines were drawn in the street
We flew where eagles dare
No surrender, no retreat
And the noise of war filled the air
"Brrrrrrrrrrrraaa" the machine gun staccato of Mickey Tiatto
"Peeeeow" Slacky's ricochet r...
Tuesday 19th February 2019 3:20 pm
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