depressed (Remove filter)
Just leave me alone and let me find peace
I don't want to hurt
I don't want to weep
Who’s are the voices inside my head?
Why do they hate me?
What have I said?
Why let them get to me?
What do I say?
Why can’t I make them all just go away?
Why do I feel I have to paint on a smile?
Why can’t I just be ‘me’ for a while?
These are the questions I’m asking each day
The voices, the demons I...
Sunday 22nd May 2022 4:02 pm
a year now since she died
life never been the same
loving eyes that llit my life
till she fell and got lame
her back end had collapsed
lost control of her bladder
lay there still in the garden
never saw anything sadder
vet had to give her the jab
said she'd suffer no pain
ashes rest on my dresser
but I'll not see her again
all I have is her leathe...
Sunday 20th December 2020 10:45 am
Seeing the shadow in vision
Getting feared of what the great poison
Hiding out back to the scratch
Tired of being what they're interpreted
To be looked up in the sun
To be puked in deep water run
To be lost in relief distance
I was fight,
But no lights were made
So where is is heading through wind?
Passing it off to be betrayed and seen
That soak tree's been relied on
As this volt i...
Monday 7th December 2020 5:02 pm
She spoke such pretty little lies
Oneself to bend at will
Slowly became to wilt
Like a rose without water
The beauty of red
Began to shed
Into a shattered brown
Till there was nothing left
But a dead rose
And it's thorns.
Saturday 28th November 2020 8:01 pm
At group therapy we met
Eye contact at a premium
In terms of looks she was
Bordering upon medium
Mam and brother hated
She came to stay at mine
I rarely saw her sober
She hid a stash of wine
I really tried to love her
But I didn't have a clue
She'd bled, half-formed,
Out of somewhere blue
Men she cordially hated
I was a means to an end
Saturday 14th November 2020 10:56 am
I'm always thinking about the day we first met,
It's definitely something that I'll never forget,
The first thing I remember was that gorgeous smile,
It left me dumbstruck and uncontrollably docile,
The next thing I noticed were those glistening blue eyes,
I was lost in my thoughts dazed and hypnotized,
How does God put so much beauty into one thing?
I thought she was an angel...
Friday 17th July 2020 7:34 pm
In a dusky morning, the sun was setting,
Wanted to scream in a silent mic.
No more of this frustration, no more of this hatred,
Death was the only freedom came to his mind.
Listening to the people, listening to himself he realised,
Many a things don't matter, So does his life.
Losing his hobby, his like, his ego, his pride.
Losing his humanity, was what it was like.
'Try to stay po...
Wednesday 8th July 2020 3:10 pm
I really wish I went to college
I can’t believe I trusted that bitch
But was it love or just a lack of knowledge
Shit hurt my heart seeing my big brother
Cuff a bitch that had mileage
He went to jail, she told him I tried to fuck ha
Ian even have no money
So ion even know why the butch was lying
Niggas buy anything a bitch tell em when they in jail
But damn big Jevo Ian even have ...
Tuesday 28th January 2020 3:37 pm
My heart aches
My chest is heavy
I can't sleep from visions of -
what could have been and what were -
play through my mind.
My eyes are dry from crying endlessly
My breathe is shuttered from the words -
I wish I could have said to you.
Monday 10th December 2018 1:30 am
I don't like my brain today.
It's bringing me down,
In more than one way.
It doesn't really matter
What anyone will say.
I really don't know why,
I always feel this way.
When it starts to get cold,
And the sky turns grey.
I don't want to be here today.
I tell my co-worker,
As he slowly walks away.
He agrees with me,
But knows not what I say
Please beg me to stay.
I need to fee...
Friday 11th May 2018 5:08 pm
This poem is for all those who find this life a trial. Keep on keeping on, as someone once remarked.
Buried in the Sunlight
Eleanor played the pipes as a piper should,
flying light with grace and flair and swing,
with airs like a wind band in the deep greenwood:
dancing her careless heart towards an Appalachian spring.
All who knew her, all for whom her life seemed bles...
Monday 5th February 2018 12:52 pm
I hope you think of me every night in your dreams.
I hope you see me in everyone you date.
I hope you wish I would come back.
I hope you see me and feel the pain I felt while we were together.
I hope you hear my cries, feel my pain and see my tears.
I hope every time you close your eyes you see me with him.
I want you to hate yourself for everything you’ve done to me
Monday 13th November 2017 10:27 am
Death warmed up
Every cell is sad
Has given up
Just an empty, breathing vessel.
Is this what it is like at the lowest point?
Or is there further to fall?
Thursday 4th August 2016 9:08 am
Many words Ive put to papers in an effort to taper
the stress of life's capers hoping it vanishes like vapor
but their lies deep inside a wound that hides and may never find treatment
an indecent demon dreaming of beatings so frequent
No reason for the recent fleeting secret meetings and agreements
he's attempting quite tenaciously to tear this tainted wound open voraciously
and fatally, ...
Monday 13th June 2016 9:21 am
Is something I rarely feel
Told how much I screw up
Monday 8th February 2016 12:58 am
The crack of dawn, yet absent of light
Darker than the hours preceding
Only one could dread a new day
But it's a constant battle and endless fight
To rise from this dungeon
To enter this isolated Hell
The morning is slow, yet all too short
Lead weights on all limbs and eyes
No routine, but a mission
To begin each day, Only to distort
The true soul trapped inside
Tuesday 18th August 2015 4:09 am
Life becomes a series of two periods.
One where you feel good and life is great,
and one where every day is a bumpy ride on an emotional rollercoaster.
When on the verge of tears, it’s always a close call holding them back, not letting them fall.
I discovered that when on the verge of tears,
I hold my breath in an attempt to wait it out.
Stupidly trying ...
Wednesday 25th February 2015 2:35 am
You see my smile,
you hear my laughter,
and you see my general glow
of happiness that is fake.
Because on the inside
there's my frown
that you don't see,
there's my cry for help
that you don't hear,
and there's my general glow
of darkness that is true,
but no one knows.
No one knows
what goes through my mind
when i smile on the outside.
No one one knows
how I actually feel,
Friday 24th October 2014 4:46 am
I was young and worked in a garage. I was in the wrong job, aged 17. Why did I end up there? Was it fate punishing me for not joining the RAF? Other people thought I’d be good at fixing cars. I wasn’t; I was barely ok. Think of quiet me in a real man’s world. It was a daunting thought and there I was.
It was ok at first but soon went wrong. Trying to take a Volvo’s bumper o...
Thursday 30th May 2013 4:15 pm