Poetry Blogs (Awareness)

His Most High, Excellent Awfulness, Lord of the Winged Hordes

Reminds all viceroys, manipulators and controllers

That we are at war!

The coming invasion will fail for we are everywhere.

Darkness covers the earth, complete domination is near.

Fear Me with full awe!

For My reward for failure is excruciating pain,

So make very sure My reign extends and deepens all unseen

Till ...

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TinCap’s log. Stardate: nowish.

Knowledge:

pen dinging

Theory:

Energy from a big bang churned in a sun for billions of years & several seconds ago launched earthward at the speed of light & deflected off stuff & hit my optic nerve which sent chemical-electrical signals into my neural network generating my experience of seeing an apple hanging on a tree.

Other energy - x-rays, infare...

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Every time I think I have become enlightened and can handle anything, a new challenge shows up to test me. Whether it's toxicity in my body, family illness or death, rejection of a lover, friend, stranger, job, point of view, whatever... ego is the first to show up on the scene, like a paramedic giving CPR to revive my pride. Pride dies, only to come back a little weaker next round, like a cat wit...

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Each day, more exhausting than the last.

Time goes far too slowly, or too fast.

you're either extremely low, or elevated.

People either love you, or you're hated.

There is no middle ground

- no inbetween.

Everything is one extreme.

you're either Jekyll or you're Hyde.

It is a never ending fight.

You're a walking contradiction ,

With no explanation,

No cha...

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{What I Need} 

What I need is to be 

the same person I was 

before chiari 

And what I need is

to be that person who

can be able to cope 

with life again

And I need to feel 

calm and not so 

panicky 

And I need to feel

good about myself

And not so bad 

about myself

And for the thing's in

my life that I am u...

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Overview

Chiari malformation

Chiari malformation (kee-AH-ree mal-for-MAY-shun) is a condition in which brain tissue extends into your spinal canal. It occurs when part of your skull is abnormally small or misshapen, pressing on your brain and forcing it downward.

Chiari malformation is uncommon, but increased use of imaging tests have led to more frequent diagnoses.

...

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Sunday, March 6, 2016

Rare Brain Disease

When you have a rare

brain disease with no cure yet

So long ago as me being

inside my mother's

womb a very bad rare

brain disease was

passed on to me while

I was inside of my mother's

womb

Then from that time I

have found out that my

disease is called Arnold Chiari 

Malformation Disease

and the bad pains...

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I was tattered and drunk staring in the mirror;

A blank expression with a tear-stained face;

Unshaven, unkempt, the weight slowly melting away,

The bones slowly revealing their form, ready for the grave, with slapped on talcum to keep the lesions covered, wherever they may stain.

The aches, the pains, the inability to stand, fill my brow with a cold sweat that casts a cloak upon my bra...

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O-C-D-C

1-2-3;

D-C-O-C

4-5-6;

Must touch once, twice, thrice!

Otherwise I must pay the price!

Penetrating thoughts that won’t go away,

Compulsions that haunt me day by day,

Anxiety comes, anxiety goes,

Got guilt, depression and so much obsession.

O-C-D-C

1-2-3;

C-D-O-D

Please leave me!

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When we were together, my mother and me

that day

when we were together and saw the poplars

and listened to their whispering

and knew our breath was real

on that day, our questions unasked

The wind knew the answers

all the questions too, weary with

the swaying and the knowing

but I was young

my mother too had stood tall then

and in our stillness came the s...

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Right now, there is a battle being fought which you won’t be aware of.
It isn’t the war to end all wars, but it’s one you will have heard of.
It’s called anxiety.
Like a wolf spider, it lurks beneath the surface of society
ready to catch its victims off guard,
often leaving their mind permanently scarred
when it chews them up and spits them out.
Worry, anguish, fear, self-doubt
seem to h...

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These memories fade into me

Each time I gather

They become seamless

They've woven themselves into the stars

Beauty as they are

It is my past

To the melody of my soul

I caught them dancing

As if they didn't mind the memories that cried

They thought them loveliness

Please watch for when they fall

That is you or I falling to harmonize

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One more day I wanted

from the moment that you passed

one more conversation

to hear you talk and laugh

a year gone by already

and the void you left remains

this loneliness unbearable 

can't shift this fucking pain.

I tried to drink and smoke myself 

into an early grave

momentary respite from grieving

I still crave

but nothing numbs the feeling

of a paren...

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Another attempt at my paternal tongue.

Un altro tentativo di mia lingua paterna.

And though I beam with pride as I'm learning.

E anche se mi fascio con orgoglio, come sto imparando.

I'm aware that translated, the metre is wrong.

Sono consapevole del fatto che tradotto, lo strumento è sbagliato.

But this language pulsates to my yearning.

Ma questo linguaggio puls...

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Take a look into my eyes,
And maybe we will find
that between you and me
It's the way that love should be.

She told me I had beautiful eyes
her heart said friends
and her mouth did too...
and my mind's confused now I'm not with you.

See I can be the best friend that I have been for years
or I can be the guy that can hold you near.
But I can't be this.

You said you don...

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