who wants the teenage girl
sitting on her rustled bedsheets. 
stained tshirt, stained tear tracks. 
smiling, cooing and ooing at the people on the tv. 
blushing when he kisses the girl she wants to be. 
or when she sits alone in the cinema, grinning. 
toothy smiles, outrageous laughs
too loud even for the rest. 
seeing the best film in the world. 
then another best film in the world. 
co...

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love feels like cold jealousy. 
sitting across from one another. 
the table could be worlds and oceans. 
i sting with furious stomach churning envy. 
snakes and beetles scurrying between my legs. 
closed and rotten now i know what i do. 
she is so much younger than i,
the times my time was always first, 
no longer exists. 
she broke a cycle as old as i, and therefor 
as old as my time. 
...

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At first, they did not ask,

Because they thought

I could not speak.

I had birthday parties

Just like you, but

Something was missing.

I continued to chant

That I was not an orphan,

But it was no use.

Again, they did not ask,

Because they felt guilty

And it was too late.

I kept switching trains.

I felt half-blind,

Sometimes half-deaf.

I learned to smile

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Superstition

imagine 6 kids
walking hand in hand
two by two

four girls
two boys
behind Ma.

We sing out loud
'Step on a crack,
break your mother's back'.

We joy fully avoid
still hand in hand
the pavement cracks.

Ma turns and says
'You all shut up'
and we do.

f

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Starting Blocks

I was born in nineteen forty four

When black and white films were the norm

And the black and white bloody world war

Was in the last bloody phase of its storm.

But what does a babe know of such things?

A mother's breast is all that it cares.

Her steady gaze to bask in,

Her voice to soothe its tears.

As child I saw the bomb torn sites,

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I realized today that realizing my dreams

Means very, very different things

Than when I was young and in my head

and there was glory and fame and awards 

The older I get the more I feel

that Jimmy was right and hearts are hard to find

and that those up top are as human as me

And with their advantages come other things

That get in the way of what I have 

I want to hold it...

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Grey bin days

Ash spilling

Sparking

From beneath

Buckled

Loose-fitting metal lids

Carried back- breakingly

To the monstrous wagon

Limping it’s way

Around the close

Like a club-footed relic
 

Behind the chipped

Leaded glass of number thirteen

A terrible gargoylian face

Pressed up close

Stares out

Mrs Ashall has seen a football fly over her neat ...

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Who knew such joy before they were born

Who knew the joy they'd bring

As an only child no knowledge of this sibling thing

But life with my two boys became my greatest experience 

Brought me endless days of pure joy

They're so close, so different, so very much alike, the very best of friends

My best times ever are when we're all together 

Just sitting, eating and chatting, natu...

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What mistake can you make that I haven't already?

Seen.

Done.

Forfeited.

Worn.

Your horizon's my pleasure to roll back.

Wonder at my knowledge.

Self-gained.

Now shared.

Steps taken.

Taken once. 

And I show you. 

Teach you. 

The way.

You step solid here.

Lean on this.

Grow.

Into you.

I see you.

Hear you.

Know you ask th...

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In Formby it never ever rains

Playground all summer long my early days

Playtime was forever then and there

Crowded caravan crammed with joy

Quick splash of water on the face

Dressing quickly, combed through hair

Breakfast rushed on happy faces

Checking windows for neighbour friends 

Are they up, are they ready 

And off we charge into seaside light 

Yesterday's plans r...

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We are not a metaphor. 

Although, we have met before

I was a shy girl with bright blue eyes and you were a brown haired boy who played guitar on the bus

We grew up and grew together, inseparable

Unaware of what to call what we were, what we had

This was back when childhood was innocent and we still weren't sure how to kiss

Lips, mouths, necks, hands

We figured t...

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The music begins again.
You wallflowers who came
with the dance in mind
and empty hands to hold—
skulking along the fringe,
afraid to join in,
but more afraid to leave.
She comes.

You wither at her gaze,
hoping, not hoping
she is looking at you;
Would it mean more?
A joke, a fluke, a trick,
or perhaps a friend—
If you don’t see
will she leave?

Wallflower dancer
shaking and jiv...

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A colouring book becomes Facebook.
A tweet isn’t the sound from a bird.
Mobile devices hold us hostage
to high definition
when ambitions are blurred.
Light up trainers become stilettos
that shush insecurities
and tightly crush toes
,flashing in the strobe lights
of newly found adventure,
that makes us drunk on
possibilities and hope.
But dazzled by choice,
dazed by possibility,
we be...

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I want to be alone,
but only within my family.
I want to to teach you
but only with him too.
I want to help myself
but only if you help me.
I want to be confident
but only if you are there.
I want to be creative
but only if you allow me.
I want to be a parent
but only if I’m parented.
I want to be an adult
but only if I can be a child.
I want to feel emotions
but only if you hold me...

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