Poetry Blog by Cait Abbott

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I could blossom under your hands 

let us show them how 

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I’m stuck trying to revise old moments with you 

when I realise that they are no longer there 

Not like in a “I’ve locked them up and thrown away the key” type of way 

This isn’t the doing of my subconscious either 

These memories have been stolen from me 

By time 


All I wish is to relive seconds of your hands on my bare skin

The cashmere softness of blankets beneath us 


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An Ode to Trouvaille

I have always been a whole person

Please don’t let what I now describe convince you otherwise 

But I left the other part of me in foreign country 



I love the way he says my name 

With words and phrases I have heard before 

But those that have not enlightened me until now 

I can breathe around him, more than mere survival 


I met him in a world where sum...

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I've been trying to fill a void, shamelessly I have to admit 

by subsituting our late nights in with even later nights out 

Friends once lost or forgotten reappear into the abyss that long ago were hours I would have dedicated to someone else 

Like water filling a gap in the ocean floor, it is difficult not to let them pour in

But these are the friends I need

Night time drives with ...

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my anxiety is a burden I can no longer carry

bones and muscles this weak were not designed for this 

I was not born for this 


like the ocean, my anxiety washes over me 

soaking each tissue of my being 

forever drowning without being able to come up for air


I am not defined by my mental health

or by the tremurs or leaks that escape from my body 

but often sometimes...

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anxietymental health

Blackberry Bushes at a Funeral

I am back in places I should not be, 

Within arms I once begged to release me. 

These are not memories I pride myself on.

I have ventured into this part many times before, 

Only to run as far as I could. 

There is only so much running that can be done, 

before I remember the world is round.


You have to breakdown to breakthrough is what I tell myself. 

But how many time...

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Our painted past was once a blissful memory 

Now red hot bamboo splinters are stuck under my nails 

The heat is enough to keep me warm in the winter 

with a dull ache


I have been burned by the ice between us 

separating what we once knew 

a childhood 

or at least the remnants of it 


I had thought these bodies were not meant for poison 

In a world so full of it ...

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Noughts and Crosses

I'm finding

(quite often nowadays) 

that I'm slowly running out of words to describe how you left me

like a blackhole, in both good ways and bad 

it sucks in all that was good and rips those memories from me 

but takes away all that I hated 


I have so much I want to say 

and so much I hold back on 

too stubborn 

to admit what I wish I could 


I wonder how you...

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It just wasn't love


Even though you'd whisper, "I love you" 

In between gasped breaths 

As if each movement was a reinstatement, a confirmation

But plasters and bandages would not remove and heal the scars of thoughts of you left imprinted on my skin

(regardless of however much I wished they would)


Love was weary then, held his head low and was nervous

Had rough hand...

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What We Leave Behind (and what we take)

You told me I was worthy of more, but always convinced me to stay


But today

Today I leave our bedroom the way it was left this morning 

Cushions and pillows adorning the bed 

we chose for this life together 

A shared bathroom that won't be shared anymore 

Two shelves, one mostly empty 

A walk in wardrobe, filled once with fabric that clothed us

Only now it is bare with...

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forgettinggiving upleavingmoving on

When We Were Seventeen

You asked if this was okay

But I didn't have the heart to tell you the truth

didn't possess the words to say 


this is so much more 

It just didn't seem to roll off my tongue the way mine rolled over yours

There wasn't enough time to explain the feeling of innocent euphoria I experienced with you 

No way to begin to illustrate how you made me unravel at the seams like lillie...

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loverelationshipsyoung loveyouth


We enter this world on days when life is slightly kinder

Pushed by our family in our pushchair, 

we are content.

As we've grown, we are given happiness as a gift



We are given happiness with gifts, 

the sweetness of our mother's kiss, 

the softness of a kitten

We were unaware of the concept of age

We gave love willingly, 

our first kiss being messy and conf...

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We are not a metaphor. 


Although, we have met before

I was a shy girl with bright blue eyes and you were a brown haired boy who played guitar on the bus

We grew up and grew together, inseparable

Unaware of what to call what we were, what we had


This was back when childhood was innocent and we still weren't sure how to kiss


Lips, mouths, necks, hands

We figured t...

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childhoodgrowing uplovemetaphoryoung love



I like how this looks on you 



You wear it 




I won't lie, I'm enjoying this 

You can't seem to comprehend how I 

a woman 

a girl 

will fight back


How I am more than blood, sweat and tears

I am jubilations


and festivals in this body 


I was birthed by a goddess 

I did not fall onto this E...

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feminismfighting backpowerprotectionrape


the forgiving


are also, it seems, 

the confused


we can't quite figure out who to blame


we just know, it can't be ourselves

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forgiveforgivenessnew beginningspainregret

Since Yesterday

When we were children, if things hurt us we would stop

Pricking fingers on roses, desperate to feel its softness, to smell it

We would be curious and we would get hurt and we would learn a lesson from that 


But as I've grown older

I've hurt myself further

I've clung to what we were as if I was gripping a rockface in a heavy storm

sometimes the storm wins


Everytime I ...

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belongingbreakingheart achehurtinglosspain

Do you hear me now?

You look at me and forget

I was strong before I was pretty 


You disregard my mind in hopes that my heart is a path leading you to my body and briefly

I regret to have met you, you see my eyes before you hear my voice


For you have already forgotten the first rule; I am strong 


So when I love, I love strongly

And when I hurt, I hurt badly 


But when I scream, ...

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