all aboard!

and the table was full

as it sailed out of the harbour

eight cows and a horse

were finishing their course

as the journey grew harder and harder

the table it tipped

and rocked on the waves

nine pigs and five dogs tried to row

the dinner was done

and so was the fun

and twelve sheep shouted “under we go!”

the table it sank

down into the sea

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the silver birch 

it likes to hide 

so as you search 

at eventide 

you find it there with many friends 

playing poker through the night 

the common oak 

a wise old man 

an aging folk 

since time began 

grandfathers of the forest they 

speak myth and folklore when they can 

the sycamore 

with helicopter seeds 

sets out its store 

among the weed...

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The cool wind soothes an over-heated heart

Like snow on a melting glacier

As sticks bloom with green

The dark fades into light

Winters' chill brings blankets and cosy times

Films stretch long like a lazy rhyme

Bereft of qaulity like a poorly planned crime 

But, more to the point, is the 'family time'

Daffodils warm in sunlight

Animals venture as Birds' fly

T...

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attempts
online attachments
“Hooks & Worm” viruses
hosted— a parasite

on the web
spider crabs
In their net

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a dog and a frog

who stood on a spoon

and went round the town

in their dressing gown

said the dog to the frog

oh lets spoon to the moon

so they jumped up and down

and the spoon left the ground

look look oh look at the moon

how truly exciting said the dog

spoon spoon we went on a spoon

would you believe it said the frog

to the moon to the moon

t...

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a creak, an eek and eery melt

in darkness subtle shimmer felt

berroling, droom in shadow dealt

tip-tipping softly shooming out

a ghost that leaked and trickled through

the walls with leeg and gentle woo

a seep and freep from room to room

maroding gooey down stairways too

the air was still but full of groan

in silence, goosebump’s ready tone

weel in seel in f...

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argh

the wooden pirate

with a real leg

‘pon his left shoulder

not a parrot but a peg

argh

his ship inverted

sailed ‘neath the wave

and in his treasure chest

was a craggy cave

argh

he roared with rum

empty barrels were full

his flag was white

black bones and skull

argh

the flag though ripped

caught on his hook

but not for a hand

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when I look at a bird

in a tree

the first thing

I notice is

its colours

are

within the lines

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bescare the Broogle stalking the stair

floiting hoiting loitering there

the Broogle the Broogle its howl of a scare

heeden oh heedon unsqueem beware

the Broogle the Broogle stalking the stair

befear the Broogle creepingly near

gooling hooling gathering here

the Broogle the Broogle emitting a fear

hissen oh hissen frooting the ear

the Broogle the Broogle creepingly n...

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“Abe, easy Dee, effigy, eight chives, Jake, ale, Em,

any hope, peak you, arrest a ewe, feed other ewe”

                                                             ex-wife said

she certainly SPELT it out!

he then went on to reCOUNT

“When, too, furry forks, fave socks sieving, eat known tin”

and there was something oddly familiar about it all

when ex-husband and ...

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there's something intrinsically poetic about lists…

1.
bread (wholemeal)
twelve eggs
solar panels
occasional frogs
corporate lawyers
steam

2.
onions (red)
tomatoes (finely chopped)
garlic (four cloves)
fireman's ladder (aluminium)
disparity (secretly hidden)
mildness (abundant)
gluttony (almost definite)
mozzarella (abridged)

3.
clean sink
dirty sink
point un-necessar...

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the spider
he, with cotton in his bottom
for the silken manufacture
dressing flies he likes to capture
in the evening wear for dinner
oh the spider, what a spinner

the wasp
he, with a pin for a sting
and the flailing arms he causes
people run like wild horses
from their summer barbecues
oh the wasp, such afternoons

the ant
he, having friends in the thousands
how the picnic blanke...

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The Heege Manuscript which ‘pokes fun at everyone, high and low’ is among the earliest evidence of the life and work of a real minstrel

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2023/may/31/mad-and-offensive-texts-shed-light-on-the-role-played-by-minstrels-in-medieval-society

Fellow WOLers, you must never be boring,

For the high and the mighty need lowering,

Now you stand on the shoulders

...

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Sinking deep

Makes skin soft

Once applied

He could not 

Get her off

She was his lotion

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She was a pretty little sight
This lady of the night 
But, when I asked her for a drink
In my neck her teeth did sink
Now I'm part of the undead
And she lives inside my head
And instead of drinking beer
I sip blood (with a hint of fear!)

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Rain in itself is an emotion.

For some emotion of love and romance,

for others emotion of sadness by chance,

but for me, it's an emotion of calmness, I stance.

In those time of rain, 

electricity goes away,

cold winds began to slay.

Forcing me to say;

I love this day.

In those times of rain,

days seem to be dull

but the breeze acts as a pull.

Plants be...

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Look beyond the eyes

White magic surprise 

Basic tools and supplies 

Transparent are lies 

Google wise woman coz sister I'm wise

At night look to the sky's 

This woman flys 

Broomstick and cauldron pointy foil hat

With every wise  woman a sidekick black cat

When light comes there's fog with this

Try not run off with this 

It's my prerogative 

....said Bobby brow...

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The splash changed the course of the universe

as the fish startled in his round of the pond.

Why are you here? asked the fish.

I fell in, cried the rat, wearing water he donned.

Why did you fall in? again from the fish.

I just fell in, just fell in, that is all.

But why, you could have fallen several ways

but you fell in here so why into this pool?

I lost my balan...

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The sweetest memories hang
like negatives
in the dark room of my mind
I develop them occasionally
picturing again 
more exciting times

Yellows and browns begin to wash
across the leaves outside my window
I haven’t seen you in the flesh
since those shoots were new
it feels so long ago

We ran through those streets
as if we owned them
spinning endlessly from bar to bar
from joke to ...

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No ticket stress, no queueing at the gate or arena door

A concert like no other we have ever attended before

The front row of my kitchen, sat in my favourite chair

Glass of wine, singing loud, waving my arms in the air

Take that, reunited, straight from their home into mine

The Greatest Day of lock down, together they did Shine

Vintage Mark, up his ladder, in his garage full...

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Hooray, the bank holiday is here at last

Like no other we have endured in the past

No fairground rides, no trips to the zoo

No standing in line in a never ending queue

No party in the park, no festival by the sea

No soggy picnic or polystyrene cups of tea

No melted ice cream, no fish and chips

No worrying about a lifetime on those hips

No steam train journeys, no rides on t...

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We like to share a bottle of wine and quaff it down with ease

Should we have another? Go on then, yes please

When we think we've had enough

And in the morning we'll be rough

We pour ourselves another glass and stuff ourselves with cheese

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You can have too much of a good thing

When even the taste of caviar palls

Our line is more like periwinkles

We live mostly within these walls

We've not had fun for ages

Lately I've felt an urge to break free

Why not the funfair or Ilkley moor?

If only your specialist would agree

Your arthritis is a bit of a downer

One-way traffic to vegetation

At my age I ha...

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Missing life. Empty streets. Cold hearts.

Covering your face what you once criticised on stranger's faces.

Missing love. Empty hearts. Cold air.

Covering the flowers in your heart, the strings of my guitar.

Missing music. Empty stages. Cold rooms.

Covered ears, listening to scary news, not to music anymore.

Missing passion. Empty beds. Cold skin.

Covering all lu...

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One night a week I go out for a beer

To visit with friends and seek out good cheer

Its open mike, tho I do not play

I do sing along and cheer away.

There's always the regulars, there's Jeff and there's John

And sometimes Bobby will be around

Newbies are cool and always a treat

But the show that can't ever be beat...

Malcolm! They always save him til the end

With his keyb...

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I have this collection of wooden

birds from Bolivia. Parrot,

toucan, woodpecker, hummingbird,

owl, goose, duck, flamingo and a flock 

of small, nameless warblers

perch on convenient spaces

around my apartment. All native

to South America, they stir

memories and fill this indoor

air with silent song. On my last

trip to La Paz, I noticed a few

wooden platypuses for s...

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Glad to hear your voice 
Happy to be with you 
Always, you're very nice 
Whatever you say or do 

Lucky, to be your friend 
To share you fact and fun 
Forever together no end 
Shining heart as the sun 

Among thousand fans 
We're the mates in reality 
Sharing act and talks
Hearts believe in Honesty

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I’m a cycle

I’m a circle

I’m a forever

I’m always

Casting shadows on myself

Packing silver on the shelves

Plus! Plus! Plus! Plus!

I’m infinity

Maths was never my forte

You cannot minus or divide me

I’m a forever

I’m always

Smiling when the moon comes

Smelling for when Monday runs

I was reborn, refreshed

I can be ironed and pressed

Good as new

I’m ...

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I found a rock in my shoe by Belade Kodasso

I found a rock in my shoe

I found a rock on a shrew

I found a rock in my bed

I found a rock on my head

I found a rock with my tutor

I found a rock next to a sharpshooter

I found a rock close to my teacher

I found a rock for the grim reaper

I found a rock in my hair

Try find one if you dare

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Life in a Small cul-de-sac (Not poetry per se, but a bit of fun I hope)

Life continues to be exciting in our small cul-de-sac. This evening saw the incident of the "blue-bin falling over". This brought everyone out to check and whilst the bin remained like an upside-down turtle, we pondered (whilst standing in the 50 mph winds) what could have caused such a disaster? It was finally decided...

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1.      Unusual places

I think of things

In the most unusual places

I thought of this

Whilst I was tying my laces

Others I’ve penned

A few, disturbingly, whilst sitting on the loo

They seemed to turn out alright

I just hope you thought so too

One sprang to mind

While I was brushing my hair

That proved a knotty one to finish

But I eventually got th...

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Who knew such joy before they were born

Who knew the joy they'd bring

As an only child no knowledge of this sibling thing

But life with my two boys became my greatest experience 

Brought me endless days of pure joy

They're so close, so different, so very much alike, the very best of friends

My best times ever are when we're all together 

Just sitting, eating and chatting, natu...

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1.      Shopping

Was doing some window shopping

As you do

On a quiet Sunday

Before you get your monthly pay

And then there she was

Completely stark bollock-naked!

Well, you know what I mean

For it was a She that I seen

She had a great figure

A lovely, healthy skin-tone

Although, not much hair

But, if I had to guess, it would be fair

Should...

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1.      Inspiration

With my pen

Tapping a rhythm on my teeth

Sounds better than it feels.

Clicking the nib of my pen

In and out, In and out

Slightly annoying

But, oddly, very satisfying

Those damn Beavers

They have blocked the flow

Words and rhymes have all dried up.

Staring, unseeing, out the window

Spinning around on my swivel-chair

Which, whilst child...

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Sorry if I appear like the BBC, stupid repeats and all of that, but just having fun.  Hey poetry people, it IS allowed.  Sorry.

1.      I wish

Lots of words seem to end in ‘ish’

I think some are made-up, like easy-ish

But wait a minute, let’s not get too childish

And appear for one moment that I am being churlish

Some of them confuse me, like pigfish

Which is it?  A pig o...

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1.      Poetic licence

Some poems are fun

Make me laugh and snigger

Some poems are sad

These are no laughing matter

Some poems are long

Some just right, others far, far too long

Some poems are short

Now they’re a relief

Some poems are tragic

Old Will the Bard was good at those I think

Some poems make no sense

I’m pretty good at those myself

Some poems ar...

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We were like ‘yin and yang’,

‘Spick and Span’

- Hot pot, big pan -

slick and tanned!

The could we can -

sweet, sweet like marzipan!

The kind of love that makes you FAT,

that attracts the sniff sniffing rats.

- Rap! Trap! Rat! The blind bats! -

But I walked and you ran,

I was kicked like tin-can

then you thought you were tin-man,

cause you forgot your heart ...

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OK I got a bit silly with this one. A woman said that words do not matter in poems. HELP!

I wanted to blow up. Poems are nothing more than a wonderful collection of special words to tell 

an amazing story. So here is a twist on "The cat walked down the street"

TONGUE TWISTER

The slinky slithery siamese cat slipped and slid strutting down the slippery street...

silly but sw...

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Who could have known that's who he was

a man of Grump Land

---

His past added up to insecurity

that came out of his mouth

in the form of lampooning

Aspersion dribbled from his orifice

leaving a need for estuaries

in Grump Land for humans

to gain protection from his salty words

---

Yet there was a sweet spot

amongst the weeds and storms

A place he hid from mos...

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1.Questions

“Mum, what’s a laboratory?”

“Well son, it’s a place where

Men in white coats

With hair all over the place

Make exciting things

That fizz and bang and sometimes smell rotten”

“Dad, how can the moon be all those different shapes?”

“Because it’s clever and it can.”

“Mum, what’s a Policeman?”

“Well son, he’s very smart and helpful

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1.The things we say

I suspect we are all guilty

Of saying things that just don’t make sense.

There are, of course, those oxymoronic little sayings

We all trot out every now and again.

I am guilty as charged, it’s an open secret

Old news if you will and, I would bet,

Even odds you have done it too.

So, whilst I silently scream and think “good grief”,

I do still ...

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I liar, that’s what I am

I roll my dice from in my hand

I sit upon my throne

Forged from pain

broken promises, pretty lies

They’re all the same

traction, I’m unable to gain

I’m slowly slipping into my old ways

I was getting better

Now it’s worse

Every Name I hear, I curse

But hers’

I cannot do that

she is perfect

she is sweet

I lay my life at her feet

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I was zooming up the road

The other day

Saw you on the pavement

Walking towards me.

Put the window down

Gave a few loud hoots

Of my extremely loud horn

Stuck my arm out of the window hole, and waved.

Ah!  Oh dear!

Sorry if I startled you.

Made you jump.

Gave you a heart-attack.

Wrong person.

A genuine case of mistaken identity.

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He’s creeping, quietly, stealthily

Hugging close to the treeline

Remaining concealed in the shadows

Ears attuned to every sound

A small rustling sounds in the undergrowth

Brings him to a sudden halt

He’s standing still now – rigid – sniffing the air

Weighing the immediate threat.

Silence restored, inches forward again

Assessing the wa...

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I was in the kitchen one day

And Dad asked me to pop next door

And ask if they had any spare sugar

Not a big task I hear you say

Sounds pretty easy

Just to pop next door and ask

But the next door to us, that we don’t own

Is roughly five miles away

And that’s if I cut across the fields

I was tempted, to put it to Dad

That it w...

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I sit proudly upon my very finest steed

Feel the power vibrating under my feet

Picking up speed now

Enjoying the rhythm and undulations

Love the Wind, blowing through my hair

Living dangerously, no hats for me.

I’m grinning manically, hear music in my head

Relaxing, just letting myself go

It was all going so swimmingly well

U...

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High up in my nest

King of all that I survey

Bedded down up on the crest

Watching carefully for my prey

Breathing slowly, breathing deep

Find that inner peace

Ready to inflict the eternal sleep

The provider of the final release

Lying and waiting for the go-ahead

Anticipation of the Green-light

The difference between alive o...

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SUDOKU

The nines of the world curl, whole and enticing

Fat eights wobble but do not fall

Sevens sharply the space are slicing

Sixes are comforting, rock and cradle us all

Fives are boldly pregnant but sheltered

Fours chop up, down, over and square

Threes make promises, round and salted

Twos are monopods, stomping here and there

But ones like raindrops slip in, here ...

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Memories of old,

flooding fast through my mind,

some tinged with sadness

and some, sweet sublime.

A fireside reverie shared

with eyes so bright,

an audience of innocence

and excited delight.

The crackling logs        

on the fires of time,

the little rapt faces as

you feed them a line.

Of thunder, lightning,

and rain as we run!

Football, toy...

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If you've ever seen an ant

go whizzing by

faster than his friends and

with goggles on his eye's,

then without a doubt,

skidding through the plants,

you've met my friend Albert,

The skate-boarding ant.

From the day he was born

he was rushing around

hither and thither,

like a spring unwound.

His mum would despair,

“Albert, please stand still.

You need y...

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