There are things a poet shouldn’t do

like fly a plane or fix a shoe

Or hang a picture on the wall

it will either slant, or fall

 

Any vocation that makes you bored

Accountancy is best ignored

Adopting an extreme yoga position

is at odds with a poetic disposition

 

Woodwork, tapestry or macrame

Joining the Territorial Army

Playing golf or running a bar

No poet should EVER drive a car

 

Hobbies involving the use of a knife

Choosing someone impatient as a wife

Standing for public election

Surgery, shed erection

 

Motorcycle maintenance and mechanics

are bound to cause distress and panic

And as for furniture from Ikea

All poets have no idea

 

Appoint one as Pension Advisor at your cost

When orienteering, poets get lost

If one attends to your pipework you're in a fix

Poets and plumbing don't mix

 

Even superficially simple tasks

become for bards, a major ask -

So don’t give them important stuff to do

Because poets don’t have a bloody clue.