Poetry Blogs (2020, depression)
When sun comes against all odds
And the colours of life just pop
Or when the rain falls
It falls and falls
And you wet your lips
With piping hot tea
With warm biscuit
Savour the crumbs
Cosy and safe
In the arms of a jumper
The padding of the sofa,
Like a huge hug
Or when your face aches,
Your stomach vibrates
Because you are fighting to breathe
Tuesday 18th February 2020 5:52 am
Alone in this moment I stand.
Leaning against the bathroom sink.
Tears cloud my vision then stream down my cheeks.
I don’t recognize the girl in the mirror.
A reflection of destruction stares back at me.
Everything I’ve been holding back escapes my soul.
I grip the sink and try to fight it.
I’m not Human,
I’m bottled up pain.
I’m held back...
Friday 14th February 2020 2:38 am
I wish i were braver. More like everything you deserve.
Wouldn't inflict my self on anyone. Nothing more cruel i've always thought.
I can't change the past and there's too much of it.
I see the heart of you, clearer than the things you want me to.
I dont see the rules to the games you play, and don't know why you play them anyway.
Hear this echo fade away, flickering to the tunes you play.
Wednesday 12th February 2020 7:14 am
When people ask me how I'm doing I want to tell them the truth.
That my depression is the captor I can not escape from.
That my heart longs for the attention I don't sustain.
That my ears burn waiting for you to tell me you feel the same.
I want to tell you that depression has invited anxiety over.
Yes... that is the third time this week. Thanks for noticing.
Tuesday 11th February 2020 10:23 pm
For the desperate disparate
All I am
since before i heard the tigerpig, no thought no time
When i stop i am gone
Ever as now
A silent scream rising like the firefawn
Existing only when the wind blows
Moss beneath my toes on the old stones
In sunlight through stained glass
The echo of living through falling lashes
Alive for one timeless moment
Hoping to smell poplars through the pine
Tuesday 11th February 2020 8:59 am
The beach isn't a beach
if it sans the sea
Just a random strip of sand
on a hot summer day
The night doesn't fall
till the sun goes away
for it to dazzle
in its own way
Am I the night
that needs the sun
to mark my presence
or simply the beach
which will be nothing without the sea?
Monday 10th February 2020 11:13 am
I want to feel connected. To anything. Anything at all.
You all belong here i can tell, i see the weave running through you, even the worn and tattered threads.
And i float above and barely touch. It's all too much this not enough.
This pain is real and meaningless, i watch as salt water carves cracks around my eyes with too much to ask and not enough to say
I want your joy, your...
Sunday 9th February 2020 9:58 am
The rain falls
My soul weeps
All the secrets we keep
Thursday 23rd January 2020 5:02 am
Just see this beast!
- Many screams -
By me, of mine, and me
At someone’s pair of legs poking out from under my bed
When they disappear,
I remind me: they were never here
But why do people say “in your head”?
When it can make you scream,
And grow big in length and width
Until it cannot fit “in your head”
When it can breathe life...
Wednesday 22nd January 2020 3:07 pm
For starters: offense to real, man's best friends dogs. I love them, but also are scared of them in a way. This one is dedicated to the "black dog'" that haunts a lot of people's lives. I did a DJ gig on this day tonight and met a fellow who told me he does a mental health group to protect people who do not talk about what they are and or feel obsessed with or feel suicidal. We bought a few drinks...
Wednesday 22nd January 2020 12:57 am
cant forget all the things that happened, im constantly reminded
tramatizing pictures in my head
the doctors got worried so they put me on some meds
because i couldnt deal with my mental
derailing and my thoughts became detramental
i couldnt handle my life anymore
couldnt stop the impulses before...
it was too late, theres drugs involved, using them i thoug...
Wednesday 15th January 2020 11:26 am
what is it without actually being happy
i put together the most real pieces but it doesnt change my feelings even when theyre clapping
im really just sad but i hide it with anger
my life has never been safe, always putting myself in danger
trying to find salvation, maybe i can save myself
maybe help my momma, get my family in good health
im just tryna stay strong and change my ch...
Wednesday 15th January 2020 10:34 am
Depression is a question
of stamina. We know how to win.
Build walls and fill them with light
even as darkness batters the barricades,
threatening a wholesale invasion. So we turn on more lights,
call more friends, play, dance, and work, work, work.
This isn’t mania,
unless swimming to shore
in a river of white-water rapids is also mania.
and we can make it.
Monday 6th January 2020 10:00 am