Poetry Blog by Zhar2020
Nicola Beckett on Rebirth (Mon, 16 Nov 2020 01:18 pm)
Nicola Beckett on Closure (Sun, 15 Nov 2020 06:12 pm)
Nicola Beckett on Unbreakable II (Sat, 14 Nov 2020 04:51 pm)
I lay my head down,
With these words that come to mind.
Happiness and joy seems ever so bleak,
Somethings are just hard to find.
I paint a picture perfect scene.
But this is simply just a disguise,
Suppressing my truest thoughts,
That I hide inside.
My hearts tomb is real,
How could it be so?
My past has moulded me,
How is it I've grown?
My hearts tomb protects me,
But I can't open up...
Tuesday 17th November 2020 7:39 pm
Protect me from this life.
The ailments of the things around me.
Set me free into the sky,
Shine light in the darkness that surrounds me.
I'm one man against the world,
Sometimes it seems hard to bear.
Sometimes I prayed,
But only the Devil responded,
And God wasn't there.
I fell deep into the pits,
Both alcohol and substance abuse.
The devil talking to me,
From this bottle im drinking...
Monday 16th November 2020 12:57 pm
You my moon light,
Lit my world ablaze.
Spoke truth into my soul.
Pushed me to realise my dreams.
To conquer, my lifes goals.
You my sweet,
The reason to my days.
The purpose to my smiles,
The shelter from hailing rain.
My human form, of many desires.
Where are you now?
You my medusa,
Froze me stone cold.
Unable to move,
Until I had to let you go.
Closure, I never had.
Closure, I t...
Sunday 15th November 2020 1:36 pm
It funny and amusing,
Just how life can be.
I've taken more than I could bare.
Now I'm unbreakable.
Thats now my reality.
I was tested,
Left to fend for myself.
I did try to call for help.
But found no helping hand.
Now I get people telling me they're missing me.
But I'm cool with it,
They can remember me fondly, from their memories.
Now I'm unbreakable I ask,
Who can now s...
Saturday 14th November 2020 1:02 pm
I smile now because im at peace.
I know who and what I am,
At this stage, now I'm finally free.
Multiple complex layers, to this methodical man.
The seeds planted to destroy me,
The burdens over me that held me down.
I felt ashamed and morally disgraced,
But I had turned that shit back round.
I felt lost and deluded,
Felt ashamed and foolish.
Through my journey I went through s...
Friday 13th November 2020 8:24 pm
I exists in a place of solitude,
Where not many would find me.
However, sometimes conflicted,
As there's two inside me.
I just wish to find peace,
But somethings trouble my soul.
Aspiring to achieve greatness,
To accomplish my lifes goals.
Wanting to feel whole,
Eager to what comes next.
Sometimes i had lost way,
For which I deeply regret.
My actions define me,
But what come...
Wednesday 19th August 2020 12:03 am
Listen to my truest thoughts.
My truest feelings,
The world sometimes shows no remorse.
Its hard, to comprehend the meaning.
Many of my peers dead,
Others locked in cages.
I smile and rejoice in ife,
Because I'm on the path to make it.
I used to have the urge to die,
Wiping tears, from my eyes.
Wear a mask to hide the pain,
I tried so hard, to disguise.
One day I hope to make it.
Monday 3rd August 2020 8:14 am
What you seek,
Is seeking you.
So look ahead,
To whats in front of you.
Life is like a game of chess,
You need to plan and strategies each move.
There will be some sacrifices and moments your stuck.
Take those chances, you wouldn't know.
What you'd gain or lose.
In life, there will be trials that test your very foundation.
Other times will truly test your spirit.
You're the architect to...
Sunday 2nd August 2020 10:13 am
You see, this me and you,
Both of us damn fools.
What we meant to do,
With this whole me and you?
Our energy never reciprocated,
We never made it.
Its hard to carry on,
Now that we're both faded.
If people tried to mess with you,
They had to mess with me.
I cared for you more than anything,
My damn queen.
I smoke a fat blunt and down this bottle of henny.
Visions with flashbacks & fan...
Sunday 2nd August 2020 1:02 am
Its amusing, how life can be.
Just when you thought you've been broken enough.
Its far from the reality.
As a man, I have been tested.
With my past, memories relentless.
Traumatic moments, and experiences that remain.
You would think I would be numb, to the infliction of pain.
But it shows indeed I still have a heart.
That i can take a loss and feel ...
Friday 31st July 2020 1:16 am
You were somebody I used to know.
You meant everything to me, not long ago.
I remember everything and I know.
I'm not longer a thought in your mind anymore.
You were the ray of light in my darkness.
The calmness to these violent storms.
The shelter to the hailing rain.
The comfort behind closed doors.
You lit up my world ablaze.
Spoke truth into my soul.
Inspired me to be a better man.
Thursday 9th July 2020 11:04 pm
I drive up to the park, just to kick back, relax and unwind.
As I go over events, ponder on the details, in this life of mine.
I sit back, light up a cig, recline back and take a toke.
Exhale and sigh, with hands on my eyes, as I blow out heavy smoke.
I look at my rearview mirror and something catches my eye.
I see this woman and can just about see her face.
I noticed she's been sat there fo...
Thursday 2nd July 2020 12:29 pm
For sometime I had to battle my own mind.
To reach out and tear myself away.
To seek my hidden truths.
To find what it is that I'm seeking,
What is needed of me.
What I'm needing to do,
To uncover the mess in my head.
I exists in a place of solitude now.
Where not many would find me.
However sometimes, I'm conflicted.
As theres two inside me.
The thoughts of betr...
Wednesday 1st July 2020 12:13 pm
Before I'm put to rest.
There's some life lessons I've learnt.
Never betray your own heart.
Even when you fall in love
Before I'm put to rest.
Take heed in the advise of others.
Because life is so uncertain.
So focus, don't wonder
Before I'm put to rest.
Do good in your life and take care of your people.
The blessings you feel.
So answer their prayers, even if they tell you they don't n...
Saturday 27th June 2020 12:39 pm
Sitting under this light,
I conversate with my soul, to seek a better truth.
This cigarette smokes swirling over me,
But I must say, what a beautiful view.
I can't help but deny, this beauty over me.
Nothing shining brighter than this, not even the nothern star.
A smile creeps up on me, in awe of this light.
I think of something I've known, all along.
This moon must be jealous though,
Tuesday 7th April 2020 10:44 pm
Suddenly it happens again,
Without thoughts or reasons.
I remember the feeling of pain,
In the time you disconnected and went missing.
For a moment I'm convinced that I miss you,
But then I remember in the end what you did.
I remember you fondly, every moment we had.
I miss the future that could have been.
In my head I have a conversation with you.
Ask you how and why were you able to let...
Thursday 5th March 2020 9:47 pm
Loyalty cannot be bought,
A virtue not everybody can understand,
I express my loyalty to you in many ways,
In many forms.
It may come across different to the usual stuff,
What we class as a norm.
Depending on your position in my life,
I act accordingly.
But the deepest bond that I've had,
I'm loyal very differently.
Theres nothing that can stop me from being there ...
Sunday 9th February 2020 10:26 pm
Did you hear my heart beat?
How did it sound to you?
Was it racing wildly, you couldn't even count?
Or was it relaxed, pumping with soothing tunes.
When you heard my heart beating, how did you take it?
Did you find out what you needed to know, when it started pacing?
Is this where we belong?
How our story is to start?
I wonder would tears come to your eyes,
If you find my heart finally st...
Saturday 8th February 2020 5:27 pm
When the devil offers to dance with you
You should say always say never
Cus the dance with the devil
Will last forever
After downing a bottle of henny
Sick thoughts I have many
Puffing trees till my eyes bleed
Visions of the devil I see
He talks to me through this bottle tonight
Asking me to embrace his lessons and come
"Destroy yourself child of god"
"Let the devil in and bec...
Monday 2nd December 2019 10:25 pm
wake up from a buzz from my phone.
Its my nephew he leaves me a voice note
"Uncle I'm coming to your home"
He sounded worried,
So I try call him back, but im met with the tone.
I'm hearings knocks at my door.
"Open the door uncle, I'm feeling cold"
I open it and in he rushes in.
I'm confused, look at the clock its 4am
"What the hell is this"
He's bruised up and bleeding from his nose,
Friday 29th November 2019 10:08 pm
If I did write a note to god.
I'd explode my thoughts upon this page.
I'd tell him the world is dying.
Were in days of suffering and pain.
Our so called "leaders" dont lead us.
Instead they deploy mind tactics to control us.
"They have enough money for wars,
But cant feed the poor" Quoted by Tupac Amaru Shakur
As humans we are divided.
We all bleed the same,
breathe the same air!
Friday 29th November 2019 12:31 pm
Everyone has their way to vent.
Let things go.
Dim the darkness inside.
Let the mind go.
When I was in pain I smoked till my vision was blurry.
I'm only trying to get god in a hurry.
I would smoke till my eyes bleed red.
Lay onto my pillow with twisted fantasies of being dead.
Laying in a coffin, having wreaths of my name.
Mind racing wildly, dr...
Thursday 28th November 2019 2:47 pm
Fueled by vengeance.
I swore to destroy all those that wrong me.
I swore vengeance on those who tried to berate me.
I swore vengeance to those who tried to assassinate my character.
Tis better to give bullet then to receive them.
My anger shot arrows so many it blots out the sun.
Once I've seeked and destroyed those people.
Then and only then, have the games begun.
Tuesday 26th November 2019 9:36 pm
Dont worry my brothers,
Save a spot for me cus I'll see you soon.
These thoughts and memories,
The dreams that consume.
Had me thinking on life, feel choked till I can't breathe.
Losing my people, blinded me to the better things in life I couldn't see.
Losing these people brought tremendous amounts of pain.
Moving on in life, till my heart froze and changed.
Tuesday 26th November 2019 12:58 pm
A lone wolf walks amongst the highest peak.
See's the life of a bright beautiful moon.
The wolf stares in awe and howls, till the lungs feel weak
But notices the moon doesn't move.
He howls louder yet theres no change.
So he tries to climb higher so he can see.
He howls once more.
Mesmerised by a beauty that's so free.
The next night comes, in awe he howls again....
Monday 25th November 2019 11:28 pm