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If You Can't Handle Me

 

I'm a woman

But not the palatable kind

Men see me

They want a taste but often can't stomach it

I writhe and thrash around

Until they have to spit me out

But women always see me

The whole of me

The pit of me

Every last bit of me

They don't complain that I'm too dark

To shine their torches through me

And make me bright 

I never bend to their will

But I ...

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I Saw Ice In Your Farewell

My love was welded by wit

No woman was ever racier

Yet after my crazy revelation

I was sleeping with a glacier

 

Some things are best hidden

Dont oblige that need to tell

My regrets forged hot tears

For I saw ice in your farewell

 

My fault misreading the signs

I felt we'd reached that page

Where we became truly one

Not paper lovers on a stage

 

I'd dis...

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In Waves

That phrase,
That phrase you love to say
It has become overdone, cliché
No, it’s not a phase
Wait,
Years, not days
And see
I will not change
Not this way or that way
Though I may grow,
I may expand in waves,
I will not change
To fit your phrase
I will only expand,
Expand in waves
Is that okay?
That I will stay?
That I won’t change?
That I can only expand,
Expand in waves?
Is th...

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⚡ Thunderstorms ⚡

Thunderstorms
Running through my head
Rumbles getting louder
Scared things might be said
Hide away in a closet
Because the sound is so loud
Hide from the truth
Because the truths not allowed
Thunderbolts they are striking
Flashbacks of a lad
A childhood in silence
Adolescence was sad
But storms they get stronger
They gain strength with time
The rain is now pouring
I’ve a hurricane m...

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Don't want to hurt

I don't want to hurt no more
I don’t want to cry
Don’t want to curse no more
Don't want to live this lie
Inside I feel I’m dying
The pain it hurts so bad
I feel I’m losing control
Every day I feel so sad
I’ve felt this way for a lifetime
Thought I’d mastered how to cope
But the pressures getting heavy
Feel I’m living with false hope
Thought talking would help to free me
But I feel I’v...

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Lost Boy (AKA Lost Child and Lost Girl)

Lost boy, find your way home
Reach out your arms
You’re no longer alone
Lost boy, please don’t be scared
There’s a safe place waiting 
You just need to get there

People may judge you
And that is OK
If they have a problem
We can keep them at bay
Thoughts and feelings are normal
Its everyday life
The future is yours
So keep that in sight

Lost boy, why are you afraid
It’s not your ...

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As a child

As a child
Friends knocked the door
Eagerly excited
You were waiting for
To hear the question 
As it left their mouth
Asking your parents 
If you were coming out

 

As a child 
We’d run around
No care in the world
And acting the clown
Getting dirty
And playing in mud
Making as many adventures
As we possibly could

 

As a child
I was building a wall
To keep me safe
And ca...

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Broken Man (Regrets)

Here I stand, a broken man
Trying to cope the best I can
Guys are not supposed to cry
We’re macho with our heads held high
But alone I feel a shivering wreck
With mixed up thoughts and mass regrets
Regrets that I just can’t be me
Regrets of the false man you see
Each tiny thought I try to dissect
But each tiny thought then becomes a threat
A threat that I might be exposed
Exposed to tho...

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Losing you (Secret Bi)


You think that your losing me
But I’m losing part of you
You think that your hurting me
But it’s me who’s hurting you
You think you can save me
But it’s hard for you to do
Because I cause so much agony
And it’s me doing that to you

I fear for the future
I fear that you will leave
It feels you’ve lost the sparkle
And no longer believe
I know you reassure me
And there’s things you n...

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Pondering How I Got Here

At school as a teen

I was sitting in class

With all my friends

When the teacher asked

I’ve a question for you all

In this form group today

What would you do

If a friend told you they were gay

“I’d beat them and punch them”

The one friend said

“I’d kick them, and hurt them until they were dead”

The whole class cheered and seemed to agree

And that was the start of...

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Scared Child

Like a scared child in the shadows
Lurking to find what’s right
Strange feelings overtake me
And my chest is feeling tight
Why does it feel abnormal
Why does it seem so strange
I don't have one attraction
I have multiple in my range
Why does it sound so dirty
In an homophobic head
Why do I feel so troubled
By what others might have said
Is it them who have the problem
Or am I running ...

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Demons

Demons are coming
Engrossed with my brain
Their taking control
Am I going insane
They try to take over
The thoughts in my head
But I won’t let them get me
I’ll get them instead

Fighting with demons
Keep those demon’s at bay
Caged in a corner
Keep those demons away

When panic takes over
Those demons are close
They’re reaching and beating
They fill me with doubt
But stood in the ...

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I'm breaking

Inside I’m breaking, I’m aching, in falling apart
The mess in my head is a real work of art
I’d unravel this mess but where would I start
Picked away at the seams bit by bit, part by part

The confusions, delusions
I just think what I have
But then thinking and sinking
I start to feel sad
Then with sadness there’s madness
And then I feel bad
These confusions, delusions are driving me ma...

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Do they really need to know

Do they really need to know
Does it matter, does it show
Does it make them like me less
Can they see inside my head
Do they really need to know

Do they really need to know
Put on a front and fake a smile
Things seem ok for a while
Until the shadows creep back in
And the demons start to win
Do they really need to know

Do they really need to know
Everything looks fine outside
But I’...

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"Getting" Bi

Rescue ‘forever’
The fight of my life
Saving a marriage
But hurting a wife
Twisted confessions
It feels like a dream
Entering territory
I should never have been
Keeping a secret
Locked up deep inside
Now nowhere to run and nowhere to hide
I should of kept quite, not swallowed my pride
But how could I live
With the secrets and lies
Emotionally scared
A heart that is bruised
Feelings...

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Queer Terrorists - Collab with Brownie for OpenMind LGBT Special

I'm gonna cum all over this page
Swallow this microphone like a cock with rage
I is Brownie I is gay
Were queer terrorists today
This is Bidaman a suicide bummer

*The name's Bidaman,

wanted Suicide bummer.

My fingers tickle your insides like

an eclectic guitar strummer.

Like Oasis I'll strike a chord if only

the one,

till I hit you again and the bomb ...

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