Poetry Blogs (2019, alcoholic)
i invite you in my life to feel something again
to turn my numbness into happiness;
you are my happiness
you make me my happiest
no one loves me as much as you do.
day in and day out i consume your love and affection.
soaking up every last bit. the feeling of feeling something for someone again excites my soul.
feeling anything is so hard these days.
but then i a...
Wednesday 30th September 2020 7:29 am
Curly red hair and fond of knee-high boots
She hated those legs.
That's how I remember her,
Something else too.
Appointed by the court,
The poor girl did her best to help me and
Even though she failed miserably
We became an item
Her life had been worse than mine
Self-esteem pilfered by
I wondered how she kept going,
I would ask:
Wednesday 6th May 2020 10:44 am
One life is swell,
the other is a living hell.
Trying to bridge the great divide,
but the chasm is too wide.
Chasing light where darkness resides.
A grey goose gouges my eyes,
pecks my mind.
Naked. Nowhere to hide.
Cowering to the joker inside.
Praying God sends his army
to help me make the climb,
out of the abyss to my sober life.
Saturday 11th January 2020 9:30 pm
That's what I am.
That's the brand.
That's all I want.
That's what you haunt.
That's what I try.
That's where I die.
Wednesday 9th October 2019 7:27 pm
I have forgotten the feeling of what normality means.
I float around within a numbness submerged within a dream.
I see the world pass faster every single day.
I see my end come closer, I see the future become shorter;
I can’t help but slaughter the time as I begin the decay.
It’s hard to find blame, but it’s a rationale thought to try and understand how this happened.
The worse ...
Thursday 1st August 2019 5:34 pm
pull out thre trigger u know how it go
call up lil leek cuz he still got that 4
when I'm down bad I do not got nopbody
release all my problems when I drink this bottle
still fucking hoes man I just fucked this model
nobody know about all of my problems
call up tequila u know she gon solve it
I wanna stop drinking but I got nobody
I try to reach out but they always dec...
Sunday 30th June 2019 12:58 am
Those kids who were... cool
What I aspired to be- to transcend
From awkward chubby ginger, to some kinda
A wash of denim, cheap cider and flowering pheromones
Trains no longer passed, but
Away from prying eyes, and Stringers finest
The juggernaut of youth still ploughed through
Faceless passed me a bottle
Faithless I sank, and swigged at fu...
Friday 8th February 2019 5:34 pm
Sometimes I over drink.
Oops I mean overthink.
Ah fuck it, it's the same damn thing.
I over pour my glass leaving no room for coke.
The voice repeating in my head of the last words you spoke.
You ask why I'm self destructive but the truth is I dont know.
I'm starting to think that the devil is a lie.
The only evil we see is what we bury inside.
I'm going to lose to myself, it's only a matt...
Sunday 20th January 2019 12:47 am
If I went to a professional they'd probably say it started when I was younger
Which begs the question why it didn't affect my older brother
Maybe it's just the way my brain is wired
I'm just so god damn sick and tired
Of being so damn sick and tired
Why am I always so fucking tired?
I just go through the motions
All the days just blend together
The only thing keeping me going
Is the hopes...
Monday 15th January 2018 9:52 pm
We all have out tipple of choice, mine
It's potent breath intertwines with mine
filling my lungs with pleasure.
Satisfying all of my dreams and desires.
as my words become dizzy, muddled.
Phosphene eyes to match. Spirits,
A wonderful serendipity,
i am free.
my mouth runs away with me, legs
The clock strikes, it's hand jittery
Friday 16th December 2016 7:00 pm
This make-believe story I predicted in my head,
To pieces upon the ground does it fall.
A happiness once experienced -
A security long gone,
And a father I had imagined -
Now a memory in which I had created.
But, the hurt inside is real -
All torn up, how does my heart continue to beat?
A trauma of the past -
Why must I remember what I wish not to?
Wednesday 6th July 2016 10:44 pm
Friday 31st January
That was the day I gave up drinking
The last time I would wake up on the sofa
Drenched in piss and regret
My wife sobbing in bed
Alone and tired
The last time I would poke chunks of my own vomit
Through holes in the sink
Because I couldn’t reach the toilet
The last time I would scream blind at my daughter
For daring to ask me a question
Saturday 11th July 2015 1:50 pm
Alcoholic with sick on his shoes,
Sat on a brown wooden bench
In the middle of town
With his old dog,
Lacking good vision
Waiting for a meal
A dropped pasty or pie
A sandwich, perhaps rye.
I, was never taught in school
To be such a man
It was always
You could become a lawyer,
You could become a teacher,
You could become a business man
Never, you could ...
Saturday 3rd January 2015 5:03 am
The breath had left her, not long ago.
Her face, pressed into the pillow
Drained black tears onto white linen.
Her fight had been lost; the long battle had ravaged her
And her iconic war paint scrawled ironic defeat in tracks
Down her pale skin onto paler sheets.
A motionless husk; as she lays there;
Her raven hair, unravelled from familiarity,
Fall's delicately on her back,
Friday 15th February 2013 2:27 pm