Poetry Blogs (2019, depression)

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Outside of Herself

"Find yourself"

You can misplace your mind

But

You can't forfeit your mind

When you've built a fort for your mind

Mine is bulletproof,

Double-glazed,

Soundproof,

In here

I can stay outside of myself

I can step outside of the world

Oops

Yesterday,

I watched us having a conversation

From my window panes

Through the heavy glaze

It made me feel some type...

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anxietybeing a personbeing humanconformitydepressiondissociateemptinessemptyexpectationsfailurefind yourselfforthermitmindnumbparanoiaself protectionsocialsocial awkwardnessstrugglesupressed

Ascend

Today has been a better day 

 

I wasn’t a mardy bitch 

I didn’t cry when something went wrong 

I ate food without nausea or gagging or that awful washing machine feeling in my tummy 

 

Today was an easier day 

 

I could talk without the lump in my throat strangling me 

I walked through university enjoying each rain drop falling onto my cheeks

or dripping through my ey...

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anxietydepressionillnessrecovery

Madness

Don’t give in to the madness.

Save it for another day, 

long after you’ve left this life 

that’s full of opportunities.

Life is like the weather.

All you have to do is wait

for the rain to go away, 

the storm to pass,

and enjoy the sunshine

in between. 

###

https://youtu.be/icEHA2DGFCk

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depressionmadnessmelancholymusicpoetryrelationshipsSADsadness

Oblique Confessional Poems and Holiday Cheer

If I wanted this poem to be more intimate,
I would address the reader directly, and
invite the reader into my inner world.

I would use second-person pronouns and
share the deeper and darker aspects of
my personality. I would regale the reader
with stories of elation and spiritual fulfillment
along with brutally honest accounts of
self-doubt, anxiety, fear, and loathing.

I might make i...

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confessional poetrydepressionholiday

What has happened

entry picture

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Depression

Sidelined Life

The sun sighted as a Galilean dream

As vision faded from the grasp of Winter

A kid leaned out of the window

Whispering out what he needed to say

But in needing to blurt it out

His mind submerged in uncertainty 

Choked between a tearless cry

And a cheerless laugh

As with notated thoughts all about

His room was littered

And the sidelined life he adopted

Was cast to t...

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depressionisolationnarrativewinter

Chit Chat

Speaking can feel like your swallowing

So, you may as well swallow instead

Or it’s giving,

Giving and giving

Fingers down your throat,

Retching

Searching for…

Will I be stronger tomorrow?

Or just hollow tomorrow?

So, you end up filling up on someone else’s dictionary

I am disarmed without my language

But my language is disarming

Words do break your bones

Voca...

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anxietydenialdepressionlanguageopening uppoetrypower of wordsquietsilencestiflestresssuppressiontalktalkingtheraputictherapywords

The beast

I have a beast within my head
He hews my heart I wish him dead
He turns my passions into pain
A mocking echo of loves refrain
He defiles my tender dreams
Turning whispers into screams
I fear to enter filled with dread
I have a beast within my head


I have a cold and lonely heart
T’was warm once till he did start
My passion leaked through every pore
Through rents inflicted by his wick...

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depressionself doubtself-knowledge

Hide

It’s easy to give in to being depressed
To savour life’s taste and yet feel second best
To challenge yourself to win the prize
Only to find that it’s empty, worthless and composed of lies.
What’s the use of trying hard?
When others don’t and can still reach behind your guard
To juggle the balls and keep them in place
To use every bit of effort and find you weren’t even entered in the race.
...

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depressiondisillusionmentself doubt

Capricorn

Capricorn

I am a battering ram

Undulating forward with a willful lack of grace

Constantly pushing, pulsing

Headlong into an uncertain oblivion

Destroying myself

Taking pleasure in the pain

The anxiety

Destroying what once was beautiful

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anxietydarkdepressionself destruction

Abandoned

Feeling down
because my muse
abandoned me again.
Maybe to teach me
another lesson
about leaning on him,
instead of mining inspiration
from deep within.
Seeking satisfaction
outside ourselves
is perhaps the greatest sin.
It is a game no one wins.
So, back to the blank page I go.
Just me and my pen.

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abandoneddepressioninspirationlife lessonsmuserelationshipswriting

Doubt

Feeling good
Running around
Catch up on
What’s run into the ground.

So much to do
So far behind
Laundry, yard work
Constantly on the grind.

But fear comes
Banging on my door
Is this real,
Will I plummet to the floor?

Exhausted already
Pushing too hard?
Will I be ok,
Can I let down my guard?

Or is this already
The end of my rope?
I thought I’d healed
And could hold onto hope.

Li...

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Bipolardepressionhypo maniamaniamanic

Melancholy

Melancholy

When I am hit by the whip of melancholy
It makes me forget how to be jolly
It brings on great impatience and agitation
With anxiety and huge frustration.

Often it can really get too much,
And on my sanity I strive to clutch.
Sometimes I might even find it hard to think,
And from thought to thought I cannot link.

I cannot get my mind in gear,
And all around me I may not s...

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DepressionHopeMelancholyStuart Vanner

Five Dollar Words

To expunge them from my mind

That's the only thing I wish I could do for myself that I feel utterly incapable of doing

I'm at war with my thoughts and memories

Old wounds echoing in the present

Ripping my heart as fresh as it tore years ago

A different face, a different name

An altogether different entity and demeanor

But I can hear the words from your mouth as if he's spoken ...

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abuseDepressiondomestic violenceemotional abuseexeshurtlow self-esteempaintears

Untitled

Therapy’s been fine but it’s not fixing my problems.


Each week talking about something new, but we never actually solve them.

Mr. Joyce tells me I need to let my emotions pass through me.


But my emotions make me who I am, so I know I need to disagree.

My identity has always been important and, honestly, I identify as depressed.

That as well as anxious, lost, and always stress...

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anxietydepressionstresssuicide

Hidden

entry picture

 

The master behind my own downfall,

A slave to my eerie thoughts.

Wondering if I can break free and stand tall. 

The side they never talk about in sports. 

 

The minds weathered to achieve anything, 

But fear clouds my whole being.

Disappointment builds up and the storm starts readying, 

Now caught up in the cyclone of my own cynical thinking.

 

https://www.tumblr...

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anxietydepressionemotionsoverwhelmedpanic

Burn

I’m not a pyromaniac, but my emotions are like a fire.
Not dealing with past trauma because I don’t have what that would require.
So when I find myself alone and fighting the darkness in my head,
I end up saying so many things I wish were never said.

And as I look around at all the bridges that I’ve burned,
I know that by now, I really should have learned.
And as the smoke clears and my la...

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childhood traumadepressionex friendsfrustrationself harmtrauma

Compare Despair

entry picture

A perfectly edited

Existence

Resists the truth

Of reality

All that's

Been shown

In this 

Instance

Is exactly

What they

Want you

To see

As you

Scroll these

Sensational scenes

And the

Clutches of

Envy

Dig deep

Remember it's

Not all

As it

Seems

You don't

Know what

Sorrow

They keep

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depressionenvysocial anxietySocial media

Where’s me head? [Where is my head?]

entry picture

Where’s me head? [Where is my head?]

 

Where’s me head? … It’s in the sand

Its life has gotten out of hand

Things very rarely go as planned

If I do or I don’t, I end up damned

 

Where’s me head? … It’s way out west

It’s tired of people who know best

It needs a break, it needs a rest

It needs to get shit off its chest

 

Where’s me head? … It’s lost the plot

It...

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depressionmental healthmental health issuesru ok?suicide prevention

The Anniversary of a uninteresting event

When you walked out of my life
nothing really felt the same
I walked around the streets in the darkness 
looking for someone to blame
The windows of my eyes blacked out
The doors of my mind shut
I decided who was worth saving during the cut

I saw the end coming 
Feeling lonely, but not alone
Hearing you speak your Irish goodbye on the telephone
The mermaids siren song you sung
Now fel...

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depressionrelationship breakupthe end

Green star cluster

entry picture

Sipping red juice, cigarettes leaf loose, filter tip flick brush fire
The truth from a liar, a bullet from a Steyr AUG, hitting meat
The mercy seat is open, we're still hoping on a miracle
Melts away like summer sun creamsicles, removed like tonsils
Swerve low sweet cherry fly, come on through let's get real high
Forget about the world and the hurdles jumped through to grow old and die
Const...

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bipolarCamel filtersdepressionwhatever

Depression

Depression is the loneliest place.

It is full of awful and terrible frustration.

We hate everything (ourselves as well)

And gone is each idea and sensation.

 

Depression is being trapped in a dark cave,

And only outside exists light.

All black is everywhere we turn

And there seems no end to it in sight.

 

Depression is to have a body of lead

That we must carry wher...

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DepressionHopeMiseryStuart Vanner

With Allah...I can , so i will.

entry picture

Aspirations...Where we are and where we want to be?

My aspirations have always focused on being a world-renowned, bestselling author, however, i have found great value in fact, total gratification in knowing my pieces help people whether i get paid or not.

Where i come from...where i am...and where i want to be is a constant and ongoing journey.

I have come very far from the young girl wh...

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depressionfighterlosssadsuicidalsurviving suicidesurvivor

Flies

I can't move or

that itchy buzzing

will stirr;

alarms sounding:

I'm faster,

than a corpse.

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Depression

Im loyal

I'm dedicated. Not addicted. I'm in control. It's my desicion. I say what And I say where. And if you ask jus rig;;

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addictiondedicationdepressiondesiscionsdrugshurtlossloveloyaltypainrecoverystruggle

you know how it go(freeform)

pull out thre trigger u know how it go 

call up lil leek cuz he still got that 4

when I'm down bad I do not got nopbody

release all my problems when I drink this bottle 

still fucking hoes man I just fucked this model 

nobody know about all of my problems 

call up tequila u know she gon solve it 

I wanna stop drinking but I got nobody 

I try to reach out but they always dec...

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2019addictionalcoholalcoholicaloneangerdepressiondrug abusehatelonelynesslovepainparentspoetryregretSelf-doubtsubstance abusesuicide

White noise

White noise is the cloak my mind wears

to protect me from its darkness.

I'm always elsewhere,

In a place of emptiness.

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Depressionnumb

Waking up

I’m wrapped in cling film I’m sure of it:

(unlike sensation)

paralysed and mute, I feel it;

the temptation

to

rot.

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depressionnumb

Hour glass

I’ll be sanded away from the inside out,

hollowed, seared, and crushed.

I can only relieve the heaviness

and only by breaking the glass.

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depression

Blackbird Mother

My wings are brown, not black and shiny.
I'm always peeping out through leaves.
I try and keep above the fear trilling below,
I know they are ingesting bitter roots.
And yet I swallow their song all the same.
The empty smoke of hope that arises,
as I am the Blackbird mother sitting,
gathering material and protecting you,
refined in pointless expectation.
I am a gust of failure that ruins,
...

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birdsblackbirddepressionmotherhoodparenting

Grey clouds

 

The numb thump of my heart beating against my rib cadge, 

Unknown pain of sadness always giving me rage.

Desperately grasping at the last memories that I had with you,

Tears roll down my face when I find thats an issue.

The blood in my veins is so hard to contain, 

The thoughts of death flood through to my brain.

Hard to fight past the devil inside of me, 

I promise my na...

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depressionfamilyfeelingslossmental health

so this is it huh?

it hurt so much

to breathe, to think, to laugh

to smile, to worry

to feel

it’s almost like you’ve taken out

all the good parts, the sad parts

leaving me incredibly bare and numb.

i feel restless, raw

open and exposed.

like i have no barriers, no protection

just sitting there with weeping wounds

and a broken heart

brittle as my nails

wrecked and sharply cut

...

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break updepressionemotionhappinesshurtmood swingsrelationship

Letters with in

I don't paint or write anymore 
I don't even read
Where am I?
Where did I go?
It is dark here; 
Save me
Bring me back to the surface
Read the letter addresses by me..
To my self
So I write back
It's been a while 
I don't even remember what it was like;
What it was like to not just see color 
But to feel it 
I can't remember what it's like to feel the words flow out of me 
I don't ev...

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darkdepressionsad

Unappreciated Art

A single blue dot on a canvas
That no one can understand
Over looked and unappreciated
So quit yet so loud 
A story waiting to be told 
But no one cares to ask 
Every canvas tells a story
This one is called depression

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artdepressionsadstory

The Aftermath

Building brick walls

to climb

and pretend to fall

cutting short a lifetime

 

Bricks I haul

covered in grime

pushing back the urge to bawl

at the memories of war crimes.

 

I smile at passerbys

and give an enuthastic wave

pretending to not be shattered by

the man who dug my grave.

 

I'd rather see

the expected conclave

between myself and the galaxy

...

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depressioneating disordereating disordersPainrhyme poetrySexual abuse

I sit alone and think of you.

I've gone back to writing unrequited love poetry. apparently, I'm told everyone likes those. 

some references:
"I sit alone and think of you"- a song by Jandek
"I've spent my whole surrounded/alone"- opening lines from the song "unconditional" by The Bravery
"Alone but not lonely"- a line from Tired out by Buck 65
"the smile I have is only skin deep"- a line from The Joker in Batman (1989)

...

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depressionlonelinesslove poemsthoughtsunrequited love

Poetry Understands

entry picture

Poetry understands
walking dead,
monsters under the bed,
voices in your head.

Poetry understands
wounded souls,
storms, walls, 
severed rainbows.

Poetry understands
broken hearts,
rainy days, lonely nights,
moon light.

Poetry understands
star-crossed love,
hopeless romances,
second chances.

Poetry understands
twin flames
guilt, shame,
the blame game.

Poetry understand...

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depressionlonelinesslovemusicpoetryrainbowsrelationshipssad songstwinflame

Dear Ezra Bebot,

The first time I saw you, your mouth held no words.
I would take you out and watch you marvel at the birds.

Your awkward waddle would bring me smiles.
There was peace in my life holding you as we walked for miles.

The screaming, the crying, the testing,
The laughing, the hugging, the learning.

As I helped you grow, and loved every moment.
Even the ones that involved your excrement.

...

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breakupbroken heartchilddepressionend of relationshipfatherfather's loveheartachelosslovingseparationStep sonstep-son

Enough

entry picture

I have the feeling again

I need to bleed these words out of me

Now that I have reached that age

Spoken of with such pain and rage

Sitting here tippity-tap

Oh, what is it, dear?

It's me, it's me,

It was always me

And that is my deepest fear

 

What do we want

When we are so very small

Every coo, every crawl

Is a mountainous haul

And the cheers, oh they come!

...

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coping mechanismsdepressionfamily

Mortality

entry picture

Mortality stalks me 
like a jealous lover.

Breathlessly follows me
wherever I go, incessantly
banging a gong, 

chanting, 

it won't be long, 
come to me, let 
the pain end.

My eternal soul sees
this game of mortal gods 

and challenges me

to go where mortals
fear to tread...

Meditate in silent space
past the black hole,

beyond illness,
depression, despair

to that ...

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artdeathdepressiondespaireternityfreedomillnesslegacylifemagicmortalitypoetrysoulwriting

The Unreasonable Demands of April

entry picture

No, it’s true, April does not

Arrive as a grim reaper

Coming to take souls

Off to underground rivers

In the waste land

Or anything like that.

On first glance, April

Is a reprieve, new life

Is in abundance, and

We step out and look up

For the first time in awhile.

 

Now we can rouse ourselves.

Lift ourselves from bed

And go out into the world.

Daffodils,...

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aprildepressionpoetry

Adut Akech, Depression and Mental Heath

entry picture

Adut Akech, Depression and Mental Heath

 

Adut Akech Adelaide model

Is the biggest fashion superstar in the world

She just turned 19 here at Christmas

And waiting for her world to unfurl

 

Despite the famous smile she displays

Underneath she's in pain with depression

Like Robin Williams who suicided

Let's talk mental health, learn some lessons

 

She'd wake up ea...

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depressionmental health issues

The worst of me.

This poem was written in January, as a downward spiral was apparent. I believe it is best to know what our flaws our and they can be amplified when we are at our lowest ebb. They may never leave, but we can cope..

Self-harmer
Snake charmer
Alone but not lonely
Static television
Impulsive behaviour
Sensitive to the touch
Thinking too hard
Sleeping too less
Gravitating towards old pattern...

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Depressionlifemental health awareness

HeyAmericaIWroteSomethingForYou

Dr. Love (or How I Learned to Stop Wallowing and Write Poetry)

By: Rodolfo Perez

 

Love is (sometimes) patient,

Love is (sometimes) kind,

And sometimes, love is a needle in the eye,

Or a kick to the groin.

 

It is a cliff-hanger,

With your mother waiting to catch you,

When you let go.

 

It is losing your voice,

From crying into your pillow.

 

It is real...

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ArtcomedyDepressionLovePhilosophyPowerRomance

Drowning (In Depression That is Not Mine)

Drowning in depression

That is not mine

Abysmal delirium

To fill up the time

Stranded and pivitol

Unsure where to tread

The weight of calamity

Fills me with dread

Waking or sleeping

It bruises my soul

Ebbing and swelling

The years taking their toll

Erasing the passion

The drive the desire

Erasing the passion

That fuels the fire

Silent and forceful

...

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depressionliving with someone with depression

dysequilibrium

When you start to see the bottom 
Of those leering orange bottles
Threats of existance are especially bleak

Vertigo next to prostration 
Electric synapse undulations 
All the retching is leaving me weak 

Ceaseless verge of trickling tears
Insignificance from past 6 years
Squatting rent free inside the mind

Heart palpitations 
Over social reservations 
Dependence on ties that we bi...

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anxietydepressionexistencemental healthpoemshort poem

Me vs. Me

Just when it looks like

I'm making progress,

 

  I fumble

an hour and             start to         sp  lit 

                                                   (just like that)

 

and the other                                half

turns pretty                                      ugly

very fast. 

 

Then it's me vs.                          me

all weekend.

      ...

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anxietydepression

Box of Dark Things

Too many people suffering in isolation, lets start a conversation.

Monday …

day one of the slide …

and I’ve managed to quell the dark things inside.

I take a deep breath, supress the sigh …

push out my chest and hold my head high

The flex and the dark things are tidied away

A quick self-esteem pep-talk, then face the new day

It’s by no means plain sailing but I cope, strugg...

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DepressionRUOKSuicide

Ice Skating In New Orleans

 

My older sister, several other girls

met on the concrete square in our backyard

 

to test the sheet of ice that wouldn't melt

in rare moments of a "real" winter

 

in a New Orleans suburb. In 1994, 

they were only in junior high

 

but seemed so grown up when I was five

and watched how easy it was for them to teach

 

me how to slide over the slipperiness

i...

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depressionmelancholywinter

Of Flesh

Her skin can open up like a mouth

It can speak

When it parts

It can extend like a tongue

It can taste

 

Your arteries are seams

Try to unpeel them

Slip off your flesh

Undress

Search your pores

For secret trap doors

Let the inside out

Part it like a mouth

 

Like hers

It can speak

Unfold the red carpets

Of rolled and folded tongue

Let it searc...

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connectdepressionlovepainreaching outself harmspeaking outsupportunderstanding

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