What is it that attracts us to other human being so much we can’t breathe?

What is that gate to heaven and hell?

What is it that attracts me to you?

Smile.

Pain.

Mutual confusion.

Eyes in the dark, like reindeers in headlights. About to live?

What was life? What was all that fear and anger? Sweat, trembling, catching breath so hopelessly.

So hopelessly lost in you. Forever.

I thought I understood eternity in the cold breeze of the capital’s winter. In the woods. Notes. 

Oh how much I wanted all that I was so scared of. 

What is it that when I see my dreams, time stops like a rusty old wheel. 

Like the cargo trains.Yes exactly like the freight trains. 

Half a minute of painful, mad, mad squeaking. And then dead silence.

All I could ever do was write down all this madness. I do not understand any of it. Never did. And never will.

What is that with your face that makes me go insane?

Please help!