Today my friend buries her mother in a coffin she has painted by hand. Today my friend's father tells her that she has taken on too much responsibility in the matter. She tells me he made her feel like she did not have a choice. Today I will get my hair cut. Today by mid day my friend will have buried her mother. My friend is only twenty four. Her daughter is two. I ask my friend how she has been ...

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My father asks me if i am lonely 

I cannot bring myself to tell him 

that I always have been. 

I find the wickeness to let him know

that I feel the most lonely when he speaks to me.

I do not think lonely describes what it is like to be 

without you in my life.

Father, I am lost. 

Father, I have become too familiar with this ache.

Father, I know that what I had with ...

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Where do the prettiest parts of me now reside

when they have been left inside of you.

The days linger longingly

the nights sprawl like a setting sun.

Sleeping alone is like sleeping next to you.

Remember when I cried, and you saw it 

and you decided that you didn't.

I am not above admitting

that I cannot deny 

when I was with you 

I was miserable

yet I was so happy...

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I am my mother's tethered umbilical cord

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Now and again

I have to remind myself

that shopping in the kids section as an adult

wasn’t an achievement.

But, when he hugs me

happy

he can wrap an arm around me

and I fit inside.

I am proud. 

I have to remind myself

that going to sleep with a belly that begs

does not mean I have won. 

I have to remind myself,

that hearing my heart

does not mean that I am...

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The past reverberates through me in the present

stains my clothes pungent.

At fifteen, a boy stole the solace of the dark from me

in his bed

with his hands.

Now when he touches me,

he must keep the lights on.

In sleep the past has me,

travels upwards, claws at my throat

and I cry out

for the dark to let me in.

At twenty, the boy who stole the solace of my...

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