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The Greatest Trick The Devil Ever Pulled is convincing the world he doesn’t exist
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled
Is making the world believe he doesn’t exist
I don’t know why but I don’t agree
Let me explain I have an idea you see
Conspiracy theories is fuel for his flames
Brexit, traffic jams and gossip entertain…
His hoards and minions cheer and go wild
All waiting for the day that Johnson’s defiled
With a rod up his buttocks fo...
Sunday 3rd March 2024 9:20 pm
Rent-a-Gob
Rent a Gob Fartage, please quit ballooning, we have had enough,
Of your complaining that your bank’s given you the old ho-heave,
So why don’t you (in short sharp jerky movements) just bloody well bugger right off,
Your best ever promise was, if Brexit was a failure, the UK you would leave,
So sod r...
Saturday 22nd July 2023 6:26 pm
Per Ardua ad Astra (now with audio)
Pinocchio Johnson and Tim,
What a combo was ‘Spoons and Wrecksit,
Being egged on by Farage’s grin.
But the Moggian uplands aren’t sunlit,
Now we’re weeping into our gin,
As we crunch on our unicorn shit,
It’s a damn sight more ardua than astra,
To be frank, it’s a bloody disaster!
Wednesday 7th June 2023 10:03 am
Un Succès Titanesque!
The last time that I wrote in or spoke French was about ten years ago. This is the first time I’ve ever written a poem in French; so I hope that this blog post will not be, like Brexit, a Titanic débâcle. Any corrections or advice will be welcome.
La dernière fois que j'ai écrit ou que j’ai parlé le français, était il y a une dizaine d’années. Et c’est la toute première fois que j’ai écrit un p...
Tuesday 23rd May 2023 3:41 pm
Led By Donkeys Sting!
Greed and stupidity in equal measure!
Kwasi Kwarteng also co-wrote book with Jeremy Hunt recommending get rid of NHS.
https://youtu.be/LD6A9huZM7c
Led by donkeys, led by donkeys,
Down the Brexit road,
Leading UK brain-washed zombies,
Into mental overload.
Sunday 26th March 2023 12:34 am
Their Favourite Things
Bit of a cockup in original posting -here goes!
Their Favourite Things
Teardops they’re shedding; with lies they’ve been smitten,
“Bright sunlit uplands” still promised for Britons,
Brown paper packages, no attached strings,
Those are a few of their favourite things.
When reality bites, when the truth stings,
When they’re feeling sad,
They’ll simply remember their fa...
Friday 25th November 2022 2:03 pm
Political Irrigation!
(Wrote during the post Brexit
vote debacle)
Ahh democracy!
What a wonderful thing!
The freedom of a vote that counts
Makes my lickle heart sing!
The Magna Carta, the 2nd Reform
The start of our foundations
The principles of all free worlds
The lifeblood of our nation
The Suffragettes - great heroines
Spilled blood to earn the right
They would not bow or break or bend
Or fade...
Friday 18th September 2020 5:28 pm
Withdrawal Method (When Being Fucked)
Withdrawal Method (When Being Fucked)
There’s only twenty-seven
Where there used to be twenty-eight
Some of us don’t like it
And others think it’s great
Some are hyperventilating
Cos we’ve got our country back
And being obnoxious children
With their little Union Jack
Some are crying tears
As they erase a golden star
And want a second chance
Like it’s E...
Saturday 1st February 2020 1:07 am
Democracy
Democracy reveals the state
Of our disunity - Doug.E.Barr, poet
As I stood by the till
I heard a voice call out
It's over - the people's will:
A good result - a real rout
And ducked my head to pay
As the cashier agreed
And ducked my sad head to pray:
My silent view, an alien creed.
It's over - the people have had their say
That last faint hope is gone, done...
Wednesday 18th December 2019 12:29 pm
Berlin Irony
9th November 2019
1961
A wall of shame
cut through a city and a people
a bleak new division:
we and the world turned away
1989
A wall fell
remade a city, a people, a history
a bright new union:
we and the world rejoiced
2019
Now we fashion
our uniquely British wall
a tragedy of repeated history:
the world wonders, shrugs
2047
A...
Tuesday 19th November 2019 9:41 am
Brexit psychosis
Yesterday the first official case of a new mental issue termed 'Brexit Psychosis' was diagnosed, this will proberly continue long after the deal like a form of PTSD......
Brexit psychosis
A new type of
Hypnosis
Caused by
An atrocious osmosis
Of Nothingness!
Thursday 3rd October 2019 11:58 am
What will we talk about after Brexit?
From Article fifty
To
Area fifty-one
A spaceship Invasion
Once Brexit
Is Done!
Wednesday 2nd October 2019 10:36 am
True Nature
True Nature
A wolf howls skywards
To tell the pale, waxing moon
Of the solar death
The raven squawks in flight
As it tells the morning star
Of the sun’s rebirth
A man cries alone
Unaware of dark or light
In his Brexit hell
Saturday 21st September 2019 11:27 am
The Farce of the Fright Brigade
Apologies to Alf
I
Half a brain, half a brain,
Half a brain forward,
All in the vale of Despair
Groped the six hundred.
“Somewhere the Fright Brigade!
Run for the hills!” he said.
Into the vale of Despair
Groped the six hundred.
II
“Fumble, the Fright Brigade!”
Was there a plan arrayed?
Not that the Members knew
Someone had blundered.
Theirs not ...
Monday 9th September 2019 10:26 pm
Bad Brexit Romance
Assumptions can consume
Before the truth is known
Reacting far too soon
Or are we already outgrown?
Queuing up the arguments
Let's give this one a try
It can't just stay like this
That's why it's do
Or die
Wednesday 4th September 2019 9:34 pm
Floating Motion
Entertainers worldwide have been joining in the Brexit Limerickerty Challenge
When members were polled in the end
On which polished turd they’d commend,
Indicative voting
Left no motion floating,
They all disappeared round the bend.
Monday 2nd September 2019 5:12 pm
Brexit Poker
Macron's
Got on
His poker face
He says there'll be No reshuffle
Poor ol' Boris
More disgrace
His hair
All in
A ruffle
'We need to leave
Before Bewitching Night
I'm really in a rush'
But we all know they can't get it right
We'll never get our royal flush
Thursday 22nd August 2019 3:13 pm
No Deal
Where does the buck stop when a backstop blocks the options in a break-up?
Haystack Haircut got the top slot,
guns the juggernaut
plum at the cliff-top.
Metal on metal, the brake shoes squeal.
An utter nut-job’s at the wheel,
no air-bag and no seat belts.
It’s
No Deal.
The new Prime Minister Boris Johnson
says the EU’s spouting nonsense,
digging in their ...
Tuesday 6th August 2019 4:43 pm
Sin
"There is no sin except stupidity." Oscar Wilde -The Critic as Artist.
Mea culpa! Mea culpa!
Nostra maxima culpa!
Thus should we weep, we cry
As it all ends with a whimper, a sigh
It is the people's will, they say
Proroguing to get their glory day
Your vote was for an ideal state
For nation, borders, Keep Britain Great
Now, your vote means a total schism
As we se...
Friday 19th July 2019 10:40 am
They Be The Worst (Apologies to Mr. L.)
They fuck you up, these brexit turds,
it's what they're born to, that's their rôle;
they fill you with their empty words
much as they shit into your soul.
Of course, they've heard it all before,
from parents - and grandparents too:
"compassion's out! You must abhor
those migrants, or they'll overrun you."
Racists perpetuate themselves
and make others like them,...
Tuesday 9th July 2019 9:25 am
Lord, Lord, how this world is given to lying!
Falstaff: 'Henry IV, Part 1' act 5, sc. 4
There is a man
Who would be a king. This is such stuff
As past dreams would make his many morrows
That he, Princeling, may strut upon life's stage
As one with pride.
Yet this is a man
Who must know a past. That is the stage
As present nightmare on which he played so sad a part
That he, Pretender, needs now attend our co...
Thursday 27th June 2019 3:42 pm
Comedy Hitler
COMEDY HITLER
Comedy Hitler?
Freddie Starr? Charlie Chaplin?
No - Nigel Farage
Thursday 23rd May 2019 4:51 pm
Sonnet 91 In The Age Of The Slow Departure
Sonnet 91 In The Age Of The Slow Departure
Some glory in their birth, some in their skill,
Some like to brag of money that they make
Some just want the power to force their will
Some never choose to give but only take.
And every politician takes a vow
To do the people’s true will without fail
Yet what are all these promises worth now
The desperate cry is screamed to no...
Saturday 27th April 2019 11:31 am
Broken
Broken
it is all bleak broken; half-hell-heard House, blight blasted, a
sound spoke maelstrom where we see no substance swirling over heads
and hearts unheard - untending - unending obstacles to speech where
he, bright-tied bright-eyed, oversees the game's communication farce fail
debate: debate dire-drowning in the noise.
Order!
Broken
it is all blame blighted; w...
Friday 22nd March 2019 4:13 pm
Exit Stage Left
If the Brexit Breferendum had been Branded Bremain would the outcome have differed, #thepowerofspin.
BrExit, whose Brainchild was that,
Disenfranchised by Brussles and BrEurocrats.
Burning our Bridges to Brace the Breeches.
Of borders Brexploited by Brigands and Leeches.
But were we too Brash? Perhaps a tad Brisk.
To Brexit stage left before assessing the risk.
Did the Br...
Tuesday 19th February 2019 4:11 pm
Dyn Hysbys
There are no wise men any more
their old wisdom is lost
no old spells that cure
no potions endure
where once they saved the farmer's herd
the mystery is blurred
and spells that helped a marriage spurned
are no longer learned
the people who once were in their debt
turn to the internet
There are no wise men any more
their actions show their flaws
no old spell...
Monday 4th February 2019 10:19 am
My Brexit Poem
Preamble: I know some folk are not going to like this, but it's my right to be angry and I don't care who knows it.
Live version on Youtube: https://youtu.be/ckq0X_z6I6M
On the 30th of March 2019
I shall wake up significantly older
And no longer European.
What a great birthday present history has prepared for me -
After 4 decades on this planet, “we’re revoking your Eu...
Thursday 17th January 2019 12:22 am
Juvenal 2 (: Europe 0)
I will! I will join Juvenal
at the North world’s end
on the frozen ocean ice
if one more lie is penned
another argument to slice
our country from its friend:
to make us pay the price.
Enough! We see the trend
let that one vote suffice
another will just offend
divide and not entice.
Let the peoples’ will transcend,
better not to ask them twice!
We’re doomed to...
Tuesday 15th January 2019 11:03 am
Oh How Then
Oh How Then
The powers that be took us into this mess
And we as people decided to act
Yes that’s right we banged our pans and spoons
Screeching ENOUGH IS ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
You there over there yes you in Europe
With your plans and rules and laws and languages
We are English and do not want your rules
Or to be ruled by you from citadel Europe
What will we gain from this?
...Wednesday 26th December 2018 12:06 pm
And so this is eX Ministerial Accord Season
Can it possibly be true
How the twelve months flew
Really twenty-four have passed
In terror of being outcast
Since that dire vote to leave
The parties it seems must all deceive
Mindless of the real cost
All thoughts of governance long lost
So the lady May survive
Gainst all that ministers contrive
Regardless of the pundits' sense
Ever blind to the expense
Ever d...
Thursday 20th December 2018 12:05 pm
The Hokey Cokey (Brexit Mess–up mix)
You put David Davis in out
In Dominic Rabb, out, in Stephen Barclay
You shake them all about
You do the Hokey Cokey and you turn this country upside down
That's what it's all about...
Woah, the hokey cokey
Woah, the hokey cokey
Woah, the hokey cokey
Knees bent, arms stretched, let me out
You put your right wing in
The moderates out
In, out, in, out
You shake them all about
You ...
Monday 3rd December 2018 8:29 pm
Colourblind
It was black and white
for a while
Until the first line
was drawn
Then the pale grey people
the people who could only draw
a black cross
in a white box
began to sense
other possibilities
shading the palette
The colours of debate
splashed clumsily
over everything:
the harsh red of anger
the yellow of injustice
screaming crimson
a har...
Monday 3rd December 2018 10:39 am
The Royal Mint rides again!
Production’s stopped at JLR
the workforce isn’t making cars
the order book is looking thin
for Landrovers and Jaguars
but we’ve got stale bread and circuses
hip hip replacement hip hoorah
you can buy a rusted Ford Cortina now and point it at the exit
we’re gonna get a special 50p for Brexit!
Calm down dear, don’t make a fuss
that simply wouldn’t do
those whopping great lies on a bus
w...
Wednesday 31st October 2018 9:29 pm
Rule Britannia?
What with all the omnishambles of Brexit, I got to thinking about what our national identity really is. When you think about it, we have some pretty bizarre national symbols, but ultimately what does it mean to be British / English, etc? See what you think of this...
Rule Britannia?
Our national dish is curry, true,
Our Saint is George who dragons slew,
From Yorkshire field...
Thursday 18th October 2018 8:54 pm
Late Wisdom
You're aching for peace
I'm hurting too
Let the arguing cease
There's polling to do
You look for meaning
I offer a word
No sense for your gleaning
I'm not sure they heard
You called referendum
I thought it was flawed
A meaningless thrum
On democracy's chord
You were not aware and
I never knew
That voting out fanned
A nationalist view
...
Tuesday 9th October 2018 5:00 pm
Autumn Thoughts
Black steel
curling wrought iron
balustrade
Beneath me
coffee steam
and noise
rise
and a poet
sits talking
animatedly
his foot jiggling
as he gesticulates
outside
autumn sun
shines on wet roofs
and casts
tree shadows
on house walls
outside
the sea is rising
while
London sinks
Sunday 7th October 2018 9:41 am
Blubber boy.
He's fallen to his death on his plastic toy sword.
To number ten from playpen his final reward.
This graceless coup is no coup de grace.
No comedy of euros, a cabinet farce,
an egotistic act from flabby flatulent arse.
He'll be all over telly soon
our fatty blundering hot air buffoon.
Puffing Shakespeare and Latin.
Please down let that twat in.
Monday 9th July 2018 6:11 pm
Wake me up
Wake me up when the storm has passed
And the ravens have left the tower
Wake me up when the war machine
Has finally run out of power
Wake me up when the bigots
Have finally opened their eyes
And all of the presidents have given up telling lies
Wake me up when the tables have turned
And lessons have been learned
Wake me up when the big game hunters
Have finally paid for their crime
...
Thursday 24th May 2018 7:49 pm
Unwanted
Unwanted
I sit upon a judgement chair
And watch the lights
And hear the sounds
That emanate from over there
Where broken hopes
And dreams abound
You pay me well
But do not want me
Sitting there where you could sit
Taking up your place in hell
Amongst the blood
and tears and shit
I came from Spain
To ease the pressure
As hospitals began to...
Monday 5th March 2018 7:58 pm
Complex mathematics, Oldbury
When X is minus 13%
Z the square root of sod all
calculate the value of Y
where Y equals taking back control.
Friday 9th February 2018 10:52 am
Wilderness 2001, 2021
You see
a land wraithed in smoke and the stink of death
You feel
man's determination dulled by desperation and
the hollow, guilty hope that the creeping fate might end
at a neighbour's door.
You cannot farm in the present
At least not in Wales.
The hills were silent memorials to herds brought low,
Uncropped: a tragedy of gr...
Friday 28th July 2017 3:00 pm
Blizzard
Blizzard
I’m a snowflake mate
if you like
unique
beautiful crystal
joining others
in a blizzard
that will white out
your false politics
stop your momentum
as we drift
into insurmountable
impassable glaciers
and in an avalanche
of hope
bury you forever
I’m a snowflake mate
whether you like it or not
one
a few
many
interlocking
...Sunday 5th February 2017 6:41 pm
21st Century Folly
On June 23rd the people chose
They chose to leave the club
They chose to stand alone
And they chose to snub.
They snubbed the whole of Europe
They took their toys and turned
They turned away from commonsense
And forget all that they’d learned.
They turned inward and gazed
Stared hard at their navels
Their children’s futures narrowed
As the parents turned ...
Tuesday 31st January 2017 11:06 pm
A Song for Europe
In fifteen eighty eight the Spanish navy came to fight
To claim the crown King Philip thought was his god-given right
Now millions of us fly to Spanish islands in the sun
The wars are long forgotten, the Armada is long gone
So sing for Europe, sing for peace, and sing to make amends
Let’s raise a glass of sangria to all our Spanish friends
The French are nearer neighbou...
Monday 28th November 2016 3:16 pm
A Poem In Which The Author Considers The Public Pronouncements Of Theresa May’s Conservative Govt On The Vexed Issue Of Europe From Her Accession In July 2016 Through To October Of The Same Year.
Brexit means Brexit
facile means glib
stupid means dumb
and a lie is a fib
Tuesday 11th October 2016 1:13 pm
I Will Not Drink in Wetherspoon's
I'm still sore about the whole Brexit thing. I'm even more sore about the fact that yesterday my wife broke the JD Wetherspoons embargo that we've faithfully kept in place since their CEO decided to turn his pubs into campaign platforms for Vote Leave. Here's my response.
I Will Not Drink in Wetherspoon’s (with apologies to Dr Seuss)
I will not drink in Wetherspoon’s.
The place is ru...
Saturday 10th September 2016 8:06 pm
A Message to the New Government
The nation needs renewables now!
The nation needs renewables now!
As Once-great Britain takes a bow
and we leave the stage of the European Union,
the quintessential issue's the quandary how
we accommodate the suck of an economy consuming
two thousand million megawatt hours
of climate wrecking energy by the year
when there's finite reserves of fossil fuel power.
I spurn the allegation ...
Thursday 11th August 2016 1:07 pm
All Hail Bold Etonian Boris
All hail bold Etonian Boris,
Whose exploits sent up quite a chorus,
To prove Europe was dead,
He swung down by his head,
Into the seat of Foreign Office.
Wednesday 3rd August 2016 4:46 am
stabberjocky
(with apologies to Lewis Carroll)
‘Twas Brexit, and the slithy Gove
did frottercrutch in dwarfish glee;
he snicker-snacked the Camerove,
Machiavelliadastardly.
Beware the stabberjock, my son!
The empty eyes, the robo-glint!
who fellobrates the Murdocrone
the Ruperturtle übergimp!
He pallerised the BoJo cloon
they chummed upon their sunderbus
emblazoned it with fibberoons
and ba...
Monday 4th July 2016 9:45 am
Attrition
Attrition
Sat here thinking
with chaos all around…
In this together,
family and friends,
some for
some against.
All affected
by the outcome.
All committed.
Sat here thinking
with chaos all around…
Europe needs us.
Allies need us
to face this thing
together and united
for our futures
and our children’s futures.
Sat here ...
Friday 1st July 2016 4:15 pm
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