I'm still sore about the whole Brexit thing. I'm even more sore about the fact that yesterday my wife broke the JD Wetherspoons embargo that we've faithfully kept in place since their CEO decided to turn his pubs into campaign platforms for Vote Leave. Here's my response.

 

I Will Not Drink in Wetherspoon’s (with apologies to Dr Seuss)

I will not drink in Wetherspoon’s.
The place is run by Tory loons
and Boris Johnsonesque buffoons.
I will not drink in Wetherspoon’s.

I will not eat your fish and chips
nor heed your economic tips.
I’d rather throw them all in skips.
I will not eat your fish and chips.

I will not eat your five-bean chilli
or all-day brunch with Piccalilli.
To do so would be really silly.
I will not eat your five-bean chilli.

I will not join your curry club
nor sample any of your grub.
I’ll find myself another pub.
I will not join your curry club.

I will not drink in Wetherspoon’s.
I’ll stay at home and watch cartoons,
eat ginger cake and macaroons
but never drink in Wetherspoon’s.

I must respectfully decline
to try your cider or your wine.
Your values are way out of line
so I’ll respectfully decline.

I will not now imbibe those beers
that I’ve enjoyed for many years.
I’ll leave them for the Brexiteers.
No, I’ll no longer drink your beers.

I will not even taste your gin.
It’s tainted with your UKIP spin.
It reeks of treachery and sin.
That’s why I have to spurn your gin.

I’d never spend my honeymoon
imbibing drinks in your saloon.
I’d rather go to Cameroon.
So up yours, J.D. Wetherspoon.

AJH (10th September 2016)