Have you ever used a bidet
For washing feet or bits?
Or played a round of croquet
Had high tea at the Ritz?
Are you good with 12 bore shotguns
When on a peasant shoot?
Is your name too double barrelled
Are your family full of loot?
Have you eaten oysters, caviar
Or used a butter knife?
Do you know what canapes are
Are Defenders on your drive?...
Monday 27th June 2022 11:34 am
I live in the spaces
Between leaving and arriving,
Jumping and landing,
Fearing and surviving.
(Clutching my duffel bag on the bus
To dreaded childhood swimming lessons.)
Half asleep, half awake.
Tests all done, results await.
Sweet honeyed pause before
The axe falls, the hospital calls.
Racing mind, facing blind panic, the reels that wind.
Wednesday 15th June 2022 4:30 am
Granny Hi Tech
My mum’s been posting selfies… at the age of ninety two!
She’s becoming all tech savvy, whilst I haven’t got a clue.
They say a dog can get too old to teach itself new tricks,
But she’s on Twitter, Instagram, even downloads from Netflix.
It all started back in her 80s, when the tablets which she took
Were traded in one hi-tech day for a brand new i-mac book....
Monday 30th May 2022 6:17 pm
After all, at the end of the day,
Close of play, stumps up, bails off,
A good innings, shuffling off
The silver foil, the cling film
And the tupperwares, preserving stuff
That kept the leftovers fresh
For another day. All is done.
A life of order, now the rest
Is silence, ticking clocks.
And boxes, bags for preloved sale
Or bins, has beens, the bon...
Monday 30th May 2022 6:10 pm
Under Parr’s Wood
A Poem inspired by Under Milk Wood by Dylan Thomas, as read by Richard Burton, and set on Burton Road in Didsbury…
To begin at the beginning…or the end of the road, which is a kind of a beginning.
It is Spring, and the mosque stands guard, though few burqas promenade its street or frequent its bars. Its spire punctures the sky, echoes of the old Methodist Chapel, an...
Sunday 3rd April 2022 7:18 pm
The Ballad of Bearded Chorlton
Is Chorlton feeling cross
At the recent price of fuel?
Or worried that its neighbourhood
Is looking much less cool?
Are parents getting angry
At the lack of fairy lights
Is the message going viral
That the precinct’s still quite shite?
Are there gangs of undesirables
Skulking round our cars?
Caught on doorbell cams at n...
Sunday 3rd April 2022 7:17 pm
The buds now open, sun dispels the dark
The nights of bat give way to morning lark.
And as we emerge, blinking, into the light,
Brim full with fright, and delight,
Apprehensive, yet pensive of all we have faced
And what may lie ahead, braced
Despite it all, against the odds
We hold hands aloft, with fingers crossed.
When threads seem thin which hold...
Sunday 3rd April 2022 6:50 pm
He’s the epitome of bravado
In his sunshine yellow suit
His shirt is avocado
And his after shave is Brut.
With his round handled black umbrella
And his bright green kipper tie
He’s quite a unique fella
A dashing kind of guy.
He’s become a local landmark
Parading Chorlton’s streets
He’s never been to Primark
He has psychedelic chi...
Wednesday 2nd February 2022 11:01 pm
And you may feel I am too loud
Too in your face, a bit too much
For you to take, but leave me
Be and you will see this is not about you
And though I say I’m tight and might
Say more than others have before
I do not need you to tell me I’m right
Or feed my ego, tell me you love
The way I flick my hair
Or how I lick each word
That slips from my lips as I rea...
Wednesday 2nd February 2022 10:59 pm