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No, I really don't care what Gail wrote on Facebook

“Ooh, have you seen what Gail's put on Facebook?”

“About Jade's Spanish lodger? Right made me giggle.”

“Bet you can guess what's underlined in her phrase book!”

“When I told our Kylie she fainted in Lidl.”

“She said, ‘well that explains the bar through her nipple! ‘“

“She definitely has. I've seen it full frontal.”

“So I guess the kids have another new uncle?”

“What has she be...

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comedycomiccomic versefacebookfunnyhumorous poemhumorous verselight verseShort Funny Poems

The modern day captor

Scrolling , scrolling 
Hoping to distract myself
From the thoughts that run laps in my head
Never stopping to admire

Liking, liking
So maybe when I post
People might return the favour
And I can have that false sense of belonging

Watching, watching
Looking for something to entertain me
Unable to find it 
So my eyes glaze over

Playing, playing
Games with no meaning
Never finishin...

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Social Netjerking

facebook tells me i have been on this diary of misinterpreted thoughts 10 years yesterday. what better time to share this poem? i wrote this comical piece in a short-lived sabbatical i took last year:

I'm sick of being on facebook
i'm sick of all the likes
i'm sick of all this unfriending
and pics of stolen bikes

i'm sick of giving you a "thumbs up"
for something you said and did
and th...

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facebookpunk poetryrantsocial-media

Slave to the Algorithm

I don’t want to drive engagement.

I don’t need your gratuitous clicks.

I won’t beg for attention with

Pics of kittens sleeping with chicks.

 

I don’t need your engagement.

I won’t ask if you’ve used a skate key.

I don’t need any silly test to

Know you are as old as me.

 

I don’t really care how you engage.

I won’t tempt you with an opinion poll.

No one really ca...

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Technology can be a virus to society

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Remember when thing's used to be good,

musical sounds, movies the taste of our food

remember when we had such fun playing outside 

fishing running dancing going for a bike ride

A time before machines had us all hooked

when you'd go out for a meal and talk to each other and looked

When your parents would spend time with you

not online pretending to 

When you would burn off ...

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Social media

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Login and share your life upload pics of your husband or wife Share your kids with an unknown stranger putting yourself and them in danger. update your status and press post Show them off and boast. You need those likes otherwise what's the point? Sit back and roll a joint. it's sad that you feel the need to compete with your own friends who'm you deceit. A generation full of narcisists who know n...

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Our Social Networking Policy

Hide behind fake words and pictures
in a world of look who I am,
ensure that the truth is not fully shown
with a 140 character span.

Anything posted must be designed
to provoke those possessed of no brain,
either that or be vacuous egotistical tripe
from your life which we’ll all find inane.

Be sure to entice with a headline
or a statement to only infer,
friends and followers forced ...

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A Hunger


Cracker Barrel shouldn't make you cry. 
That is a sentence that no one should have to explain.
Facebook, should occasionally make you cry.
That's a sentence that I think most people don't have to explain.

 

Sad children in a country that I probably couldn't find if I researched every piece of paper with any writing on it in my house.


Which is a lot.


Just for reference.

 

...

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BurdenConnor LannesCryingFacebookHunger

Like

Like

 

the photographs of road signs charged by light,

footprints on the dashboard

or blurred trees  stooped like men picking leaves.

 

Or the back of my head, the garden shed

or all the landscapes from summer days when

we turned the camera on ourselves

 

and photographed nothing but wind.

We send thanks

and message school friends, relatives

 

and people w...

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The iPhone of Beelzebub

I've stolen Beelzebub's iphone, now I know the numbers of his friends 

he's stuck for eternity without Facebook, oh how his hell never ends

I nicked St Peter's Kindle, now his words of wisdom are unsaid

Because I changed the password on his account, from Heaven swear words are sent

I hacked into Moses' iPad, now it's a tablet of stone

I wiped every file from the hard drive and chang...

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appleFacebookGodGoogleiphoneJesusJudasKindlePIN numbersReligionSkytechnologyTinderTwittter

CROC OF SHIT

entry picture

From Facebook came a Croc of Shit

To read and click and share

No longer I'll put up with it

Accused that I 'don't care'

 

"Share this if you have a heart"

"If you 'like' please type 'Amen'"

It stinks more than a day old fart

To read this shit again.. again.. again

 

I don't care if you send a curse

Wrath of God and all his might

One Direction would be worse

A...

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facebookshitshiteSocial mediaspammers

A Life In The Day

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A Life In The Day

WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND?
errrrrrrr

SHARE if you have a hamster you love with all your heart who you know will do anything for you

QUENTIN has TAGGED you in his album 'Genital Warts' (51 pictures)
because all your friends want to see the spotted dick of a person they've never met

LIKE
so close to LICK

STATUS UPDATE: my wife's left me
STALKER47: about time m8 - every...

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The Hollow World

All that you invest is what may be won
it's just an echo coming back
and yet we hang in helpless wait
the hollow world rings on and on

Who can answer what you do not ask
low odds of someone calling out
just at the moment you need them to
the hollow world rings on and on

Those pretty faces, so carefully curated
those galleries of happinesses waiting
changeless irrespective of your fee...

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The Usual

Sun through window,

Clock ticks.

I stare into space,

Blank mind like empty canvas.

Pen taps,

Doodles,

Failed slaughterer of time.

 

Work unfinished,

Clock ticks.

Cold coffee untasted,

I look at unread my emails,

and ignore them.

Facebook?

 

Clock ticks.

Clock ticks.

Clock ticks.

 

Shuffle papers,

Move mouse,

Press keys,

Clock ticks.

...

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Pre-SocialMedia Times

A moment.

These days it's hard to have one
without feeling the need to share
every one with everyone.

Update it
       Tweet it
               Insta- it
                    'til we bleed.

How does this look?
         Who should we tag?
                 Where should we ping?

We've become factory workers
tasked with packaging our most worthy moments.

Keeping the extreme -
the happy
       the sad
             the a...

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A welcome return to Write out loud

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Hi everyone, Firstly its full of activity on here. Sorry i have not been able to post for quite a while but I have managed to get four books published and written lots of new poetry on many subjects. Its also been a testing year personally. Please see my site www.leebluntpoetry.webs.com and FB Artist page Please like all thoughts are most welcome. https://m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=291530...

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bluntfacebookpoemsPoetry

Never See A Nipple...

 

(with apologies to John Cooper Clarke)

 

 

Beheadings are acceptable, boobs are bad

the female form’s fantastic but only when it’s clad

we’re blasé about bullying, laissez-faire on lust

but our patriarch goes postal if the news feed shows a bust

sign on, log in, no matter where you look

you’ll never see a nipple on facebook.

 

We’ve made a Faustian ...

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facebook

Dear Facebook

A little poem that is very much not in my usual style!
 

Dear Facebook,

 We have known each other a long time now,
 and whilst I know you will always be there for me,
 it is with a heavy heart that I must tell you the following:
 We can no longer be together.

 It’s not you.
 It’s me.
 Honestly.

 I find I can’t keep away from you,
 and I have so much work to do these days...

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Lorna

 

It was a public madness:

comments not making sense, snow-flaking words on photos shared by friends of friends.

Oblique comments passed by lookers on. ‘WTF’s she on about?’ and ‘get her tole’ and passive vaguings mentioning getting better  for the kids.

 And I sit and mourn her while she lives. Watch it huge and vast.

Remembering my own lost year

and feel a little anxio...

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facebookmental illnessplatitudes

Love in the f/b era

unheard n invisible, 
condemned w/ no chance to defend,
innards ripped out, 
broken w/out a second thought. 

but none of it matters.
you're worth the pain.

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