girlhood (Remove filter)
I still don't know if you're alive
When I close my eyes I see the sun rising over the ocean. I see a succession of cars. I hear you laugh. I see knives in the flesh. I see fireflies surrounding your body. I see endless trees and a forest I have never known. I see barbells and birds. Lots of birds. I see the moment you decided to give up, I see you vomiting in the toilet after taking the pills. I see you telling me you thought the ...
Monday 17th June 2024 7:25 am
she's so pretty
I watch you with her,
I’m stupid for caring,
I watch you with her,
Gosh she’s so pretty,
It’s not fair,
Her hair,
Her eyes, her smile,
She drowned you,
She pulled you in,
I’m scared you’re stuck in her trap,
But gosh she’s so pretty,
On the outside and within,
I see why you fell for her,
It would be so easy,
I wish you would fall for me,
I understand th...
Tuesday 9th April 2024 4:52 pm
stranger in the mirror
sure I have a "pretty" face,
my clothes are new,
friends make it great,
my mind is a blur,
thoughts running through my head,
every time I blink I see a new list,
of why they hate me,
how I'll never fit in,
or all the reasons they pretend,
I sit here at night trying not to cry,
staring in the mirror til I believe it's all right.
Tuesday 2nd April 2024 5:06 pm
Run Rabbit Run
On the farm, it's rabbit pie day
But the poor little rabbit didn't know that.
She missed the memo, too absorbed in gathering carrots
To think about the path she took home.
The farmer was out with his friends, laughing with a cigarette
Dangling from his lips. He was looking for the perfect morsel for his
Wicked pie when he saw the little rabbit snuffling around in the bushes.
...
Monday 1st May 2023 12:42 am
Peel
One by one, I rip off the
Glossy red gel that coats my nails.
Underneath, the soft pink has given way to white
As the polish tears away the calcium that gives it its color.
Four fingers down, six to go.
I wonder if I should stop.
I’ve only had them on for two weeks, after all.
But that’s one week more than I did before.
Besides, it’s better for my nails to be ...
Thursday 13th April 2023 1:44 am
girl like me
a girl like me will meet a boy she loves and instead of loving them,
she will think only of the words she will use to describe them,
when she writes a poem that night.
i am not ashamed of my soul that i bear whenever i open it.
a girl like me will write about every person she encounters,
and hope that for some reason they stumble upon it,
and spend the rest of their life wonderi...
Monday 26th December 2022 1:39 pm
he doesn't text me anymore
i think to be unloved is to be damned.
for a while i thought myself damned.
can you really be damned at 16?
i gave him two cigarettes this time,
and offered another two.
he smoked them till the tips of his fingers burned,
i wanted to place them on my lips.
suck them, kiss them, cool them.
i sat across from him, nursing one drink, careful with my teeth and my brow.
he...
Thursday 22nd December 2022 11:37 pm
walking
"i know how to walk from here to there"
okay, i muse back,
"so walk through fires with me, walk through"
i cant. i never have been able to.
the places that i walk from are the mouths of cavernous houses.
and from them ive only just realised i can leave.
"i will give you wings and a heart and a lust for the finer things"
good, i need an incentive.
"but you must act upon...
Tuesday 15th November 2022 12:43 am
there's a couple sitting two seats in front
sitting on a train with my head bowed in a quiet mourning for the couple sitting two seats in front.
or really for me.
i mourn for me, me and my love and its cramps.
im in love, im in love and once more im in love.
not with anyone but with everyone, or anyone who'd see it through.
then each time i remember that the only thing i want to be is noticed,
someone can notice that, eve...
Tuesday 1st November 2022 10:35 pm
don't hmu.
youre a good little girl,
he types.
youre submissive arent you,
he moans, over text.
he expects a beguiled,
blushing emoji in response.
what he gets is three dots and an empty silence so loud he remembers what he is.
a greasy teen (21 years of age).
a lusty manchild looking for another child.
he tells me im a cute and submissive girl,
with luscious milk bags.
...
Wednesday 14th September 2022 12:43 am
I couldn't think of another stanza
curled on a velvet chair
in a darkening room
is a monstorous teen.
outside the blackening,
is a fading pink sky.
the clouds within whisper to shepards,
"Delighted I Hope"
and on the highest grassy hills,
the shepards face eternity.
Friday 9th September 2022 8:08 pm
bird watching
gracefully i perch on the edge of the bus seat,
so as to convey my feminine, my eyelashes.
each time the doors open my posture rushes to fix itself,
my fringe blown out by my hands running through it.
when i'm most worn out,
on the days when the world is dragging its feet,
when my joints tingle with pins and needles.
to look pretty on the edge of a bus seat is a fufillin...
Saturday 2nd July 2022 10:10 pm
girls and their nonsense.
floating in that acrid pool of nothingness,
a feather kissed the tip of my nose and whispered softly over my face.
in that moment, decided.
i watch the village of women who surround me each day,
awash with a soft awe at their mossy eyes and woolen hands.
i link arms with the girl i love most on a late night walk,
running from the boy who asked me to give apart of myself.
...
Monday 20th June 2022 3:08 pm
the day I decorated one side of my wall
on the day i decorated one side of my wall,
there was a statue that fell with a crash,
and cratered the ground.
a statue whos golden plaque was read aloud to me as a child.
and on the day i decorated one side of my wall,
with the movie quotes,
and the pretty people,
on that day my eyes bruised themselves silly.
my pockets full of hours, and grief.
non violent pu...
Friday 3rd June 2022 11:16 pm
parties are the end of the world.
ive been invited to a party this saturday.
i think i will go,
i think i will get as drunk as i can.
to feel the painful crushing weight of the sunday hangover.
im going to act as if i am in a french film.
i will tell each person a different lie,
tell them something i've made up about myself.
these people dont know me.
dont know me at all.
but whats more lik...
Thursday 2nd June 2022 11:09 pm
star shaped stickers
when i see the girls who match my soft body,
when i see them wear the skirts, the tshirts, you know the ones.
well when i see them, i feel as though i must reach through to the other side
of the screen that seperates and give them a star shaped sticker.
the stickers that, while they got their flowers, we coveted on our walls.
it's awkwardly awkward trying to explain this to anothe...
Sunday 29th May 2022 11:06 pm
a bang trim
to feel as if one has emerged from a cloud of dust each time they wake, has to mean a great deal.
it's what's on your mind, as you duet with the girl on the other side of your headphones.
it must feel like the brightening of the day, the singing of the earliest bird, the sweat after the fight.
at least this is what you think to yourself.
for you it means to be able to run two steps ...
Sunday 29th May 2022 9:29 pm
TEENAGE GIRLS
who wants the teenage girl
sitting on her rustled bedsheets.
stained tshirt, stained tear tracks.
smiling, cooing and ooing at the people on the tv.
blushing when he kisses the girl she wants to be.
or when she sits alone in the cinema, grinning.
toothy smiles, outrageous laughs
too loud even for the rest.
seeing the best film in the world.
then another best film in the world.
co...
Saturday 28th May 2022 10:34 pm
NEVER BEEN KISSED
love feels like cold jealousy.
sitting across from one another.
the table could be worlds and oceans.
i sting with furious stomach churning envy.
snakes and beetles scurrying between my legs.
closed and rotten now i know what i do.
she is so much younger than i,
the times my time was always first,
no longer exists.
she broke a cycle as old as i, and therefor
as old as my time.
...
Saturday 28th May 2022 10:30 pm
I AM! I AM! I AM!
charcoal toothpaste.
teeth whitening strips.
water on a bathroom floor muddied with muttered songs.
cans of who and why on a windowsill.
forehead sweat. made to stick fringes.
quick to anger. founded in a parent not so unlike.
jerking awake. jolting asleep. comfort nul.
calm mornings when the sun alarms.
evil feelings when green and yellow lie dormant.
stuttered uttered eye contac...
Saturday 28th May 2022 10:26 pm
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