sort your napper out peter said,
with a name like yours that is sure to spread,
mycock sure knows what to do,
when he follows a bet all the way through.
We going to the dogs? he always asks,
but listening to mycock is just one of the tasks.

With his skinny torso and milk bottle legs,
he's got a secret little way of beating those eggs,
His big slug lips and tuna pasta bake,
yet all that we can do is be an absolute piss take.
He's so very proud of his student of the year award,
since it is more than what any one else can afford.

He pecks everybody's head so very much,
that i am really starting to lose my touch,
since i am running out of things to say,
when he starts being crude, he will be made to pay
this guy is nearly forty, yet he acts like a big kid,
send him to the betting shop with a measly quid.

His hospitality is second to none,
any food left is sure to be gone.
He loves to cook for everyone,
even simone his little blonde hun.
He mows the grass, and cooks the food,
he's not all bad, is that cool dude.

His farts are all so smelly,
he smells like a rotten welly.
He finds it all so very funny,
he could give dyna-rod a run for their money.
This sums up a guy called mycock
who makes simone's heart tick like a clock.