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All Aboard The Animal Cruise

all aboard!

and the table was full

as it sailed out of the harbour

eight cows and a horse

were finishing their course

as the journey grew harder and harder

 

the table it tipped

and rocked on the waves

nine pigs and five dogs tried to row

the dinner was done

and so was the fun

and twelve sheep shouted “under we go!”

 

the table it sank

down into the sea

...

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nonsensefunfunnyhumorous

The Cut-Out-And-Keep Guide To Trees

the silver birch 

it likes to hide 

so as you search 

at eventide 

you find it there with many friends 

playing poker through the night 

 

the common oak 

a wise old man 

an aging folk 

since time began 

grandfathers of the forest they 

speak myth and folklore when they can 

 

the sycamore 

with helicopter seeds 

sets out its store 

among the weed...

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nonsensefunhumour

Upstairing A Nightly Groan

upstairing a nightly groan

of slow doored creaks

roomed a floorboarded wisp

yet twelving an houred air

midded hands trickling past

and hearted heavy those

the trembling onsleepers

 

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nonsenseexperimentalword play

A Dog And A Frog On A Spoon

a dog and a frog

who stood on a spoon

and went round the town

in their dressing gown

 

said the dog to the frog

oh lets spoon to the moon

so they jumped up and down

and the spoon left the ground

 

look look oh look at the moon

how truly exciting said the dog

spoon spoon we went on a spoon

would you believe it said the frog

 

to the moon to the moon

t...

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

A Fairly Scary Ghostly Host

a creak, an eek and eery melt

in darkness subtle shimmer felt

berroling, droom in shadow dealt

tip-tipping softly shooming out

 

a ghost that leaked and trickled through

the walls with leeg and gentle woo

a seep and freep from room to room

maroding gooey down stairways too

 

the air was still but full of groan

in silence, goosebump’s ready tone

weel in seel in f...

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nonsensefunspooky

Old Woodbeard

argh

the wooden pirate

with a real leg

‘pon his left shoulder

not a parrot but a peg

 

argh

his ship inverted

sailed ‘neath the wave

and in his treasure chest

was a craggy cave

 

argh

he roared with rum

empty barrels were full

his flag was white

black bones and skull

 

argh

the flag though ripped

caught on his hook

but not for a hand

...

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

Perfection

when I look at a bird

in a tree

the first thing

I notice is

its colours

are

within the lines

 

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nonsensefun

The Haunting Scary Broogle

bescare the Broogle stalking the stair

floiting hoiting loitering there

the Broogle the Broogle its howl of a scare

heeden oh heedon unsqueem beware

the Broogle the Broogle stalking the stair

 

befear the Broogle creepingly near

gooling hooling gathering here

the Broogle the Broogle emitting a fear

hissen oh hissen frooting the ear

the Broogle the Broogle creepingly n...

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nonsensefunscary

Something Oddly Familiar About This Nonsense

“Abe, easy Dee, effigy, eight chives, Jake, ale, Em,

any hope, peak you, arrest a ewe, feed other ewe”

                                                             ex-wife said

 

she certainly SPELT it out!

he then went on to reCOUNT

 

“When, too, furry forks, fave socks sieving, eat known tin”

 

and there was something oddly familiar about it all

when ex-husband and ...

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

Lists

there's something intrinsically poetic about lists…

1.
bread (wholemeal)
twelve eggs
solar panels
occasional frogs
corporate lawyers
steam


2.
onions (red)
tomatoes (finely chopped)
garlic (four cloves)
fireman's ladder (aluminium)
disparity (secretly hidden)
mildness (abundant)
gluttony (almost definite)
mozzarella (abridged)


3.
clean sink
dirty sink
point un-necessar...

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

The Bug Chronicles - A Field Guide To Creepy Crawlies

the spider
he, with cotton in his bottom
for the silken manufacture
dressing flies he likes to capture
in the evening wear for dinner
oh the spider, what a spinner

the wasp
he, with a pin for a sting
and the flailing arms he causes
people run like wild horses
from their summer barbecues
oh the wasp, such afternoons

the ant
he, having friends in the thousands
how the picnic blanke...

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

I Walked Through A Tunnel

I walked through a tunnel

like a finger rubbing around

the inside of a wine glass

round and round

fround bround vround tround

round and round

through the tunnel as a funnel

speeding up

kround zround jround pround

I walked through a tunnel

down to the darkness

down and down

bown hown rown zown

down and down

round and round

dark and stark

I walked thro...

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surrealismsurrealnonsense

A Dinner’s Reprise

trifle made with custard

garden gloves and mustard

 

dinner listen answer me

do you want a pie and cup of tea

 

bake the shed ‘til ten past three

then eat it with a stormy sea

 

dinner can you hear me

don’t cry go home early

 

trifle made with custard

garden gloves and mustard

 

 

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nonsense

Cat

stop throwing baseballs
for my neighbour's cat
his swing just isn't in it
and besides, I'm a little
worried for his fragility
he, being just porcelain

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catmental illnesssanxietydepression

Why Things Happen

The splash changed the course of the universe

as the fish startled in his round of the pond.

Why are you here? asked the fish.

I fell in, cried the rat, wearing water he donned.

 

Why did you fall in? again from the fish.

I just fell in, just fell in, that is all.

But why, you could have fallen several ways

but you fell in here so why into this pool?

 

I lost my balan...

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nonsensefunfunnyhumourous

The Brothers Death

A brotherly jaunt through sinister mirth

behold the brothers Death:

 

gowned and guided, an ill century

the fourteenth, an alliance of crop, of plague

in ground-down death of torrential pains

in sores and blood under the rains

that drowned the land, starved the bellies

there echoed howls of ill exclaim

a wanting of a light to shine

is where the brothers thought that t...

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Heavenly

I had thought that in our retirement

when parts of us had been replaced with other parts

we would sit in some dingy heavenly backwater

in whatever light remained

and pull the wings off each other

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Not Long Enough Be Death

under the lych-gate shall I pass

before the wait in holding hands

for the robed man of God to steer

me to my resting days

 

and shall I then be added to

the sanded brick of grotesque face

that stares across the standing stones

to look beyond the yew

 

and those who sidle in the rain

with shoulders loaded down with strife

will keep their head and eye to ground

...

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Asteroid

you remind me of someone

we died in each other’s arms once

when the asteroid hit

strange how it’s taken us this long

to run into each other again

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Dear Jews Harp

he had an inkling
as to what the world was
as to what the universe was

which is why
his sitting on the porch step
playing a beloved jews harp
was so poignant
among the other spheres

and as if, through it,
they contributed dearly
to his rhythm

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Songs Of Prometheus

there will be a baby crying

in the next room, but not yet

people are still standing around

my bed and I’m still on my last breaths

they won’t leave until I have gone

a brown leaf about to fall

 

I remember the white foam of waves

not rampaging bulls in Spanish streets

but subtle colourings of children’s books

gently paging in rippling tides by bare feet

sand on toe...

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Realms

he wasn't moving, he hadn't moved for some time
his comrade froze beside the lifeless body, this was
a time he had put beyond his reach, like glass that
separated worlds, different airs swirled their dinners
of nutrients inside and out, realms, stroking both
sides of a window cutting in half what once lay bare,
upon springs upon autumns, a grease of steps to a
smuggler's lair, to a baron's ...

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Wicca

I was given the earth

not to keep but to sow and to share

such a beautiful mine like a beautiful yours

no wrath from some mouth

no pursed scorn from some upturned lip

just elements

truest in soil under our fingernails

just elements

of the most perfect rose

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Shockwaves

a baby cries in the dark as

somehow the gunshots are not

rocking it to sleep

despite repetition, constancy

an allure no monster accounts for

the devastation of tears

the building cries

amongst its rubble

twisted steel, shattered hills

edging away from war cities

a baby cries at the sirens

blending to cacophony

the baby yearns to hold a bomb

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Let’s Escape Tonight

let’s escape tonight

leave this drum behind

without packing

without our phones

 

just take our scars

and sculptured bones

we notched upon each other

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If The Flames

If the flames

do not turn your bones into ash

your bones will rot

deep in the ground

but only for Them

for You’ll come around

and as They’re carving into stone

You may walk again

through countless fields

and endless roads

They will remember you

for only a blink

of the Universe’s Eye

but the fields and roads

shall know You

for all Eternity

 

 

I...

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lifedeathrebirth

Seductress

I was fine in my bubble

just some Moses in my own parting

and yes, you ruined my thoughts

and spun me in antonyms

 

I always wondered

why I prayed for apocalypse before sleep

and waking up, still whatever,

whatever, was always

outside

 

whispering planets secretly in my ear

you left me jungles and deserts,

you handed me worlds I never knew

what to do with

...

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anxiety

She Took My Hand

look at my hands, they’re not

the hands of a fisherman

they’re not the hands of a carpenter

look at my hands and tell me

how many miles do you feel

across deserts and plains, they’re not

the plains of a hunter

they’re not the deserts of a fleer

for days and nights of wandering, no,

look at my hands, they’re the

hands of a poet, they’re the

hands of an observer

a...

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Artemis

ABORT ABORT

but Donaldson was already drifting

further and further away from us

the thickness of his suit decreasing

as his courageous kindness

floated on within his demise

and all I could do was stare panic stricken

through the small window’s cruelness

as the white speck of my friend

became more and more surrounded

by the blackness of space

far removed from everyt...

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Annihilator

I am

all nine deaths

of

the anti cat

do not

curse me

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death

Showgirl

this death will be the life of me

patches in the sky

we used to call them clouds

before the bombs went off

and canopied us in a toxic shell;

the artist swapped his brush

for a brick

and threw it in tantrum

from a distance

at some cheesy idyllic canvas

and despite our decaying teeth falling out

with clumps of hair and skin

you slipped out of your negligee

a li...

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dystopianlife

Man On A Train

there’s a man

on a train

with his head

in his hands

 

I’m three seats behind

 

a man

on the train

with my head

in my hands

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lifemental health

Anecdote

a lady of swollen years

sat knitting with glorious colours

she said her name was

saint something or other

I didn’t quite catch it

must have been the gum she was chewing

her lipstick was smeared

anyway I asked what she was making

she said stain glass windows

for the cathedral being built behind her

I wasn’t going to believe her

but I couldn’t help it

she rolled ...

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peoplelife

Long Have I Stood

long have I stood

long stood have I gazed

long gazed have I thought

long thought have I suffered

long suffered have I

long have I stood

 

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lifemental healthdepressionanxiety

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