My cat Daisy is the baddest cat around,

She'll attack you so quick without making a sound,

She'll turn you face into a scratching post,

Take a shit then lay on the remote,

You will just think it went missing,

Ask her and she'll pretend she's not listening,

 

And that's my cat Daisy,

She's fuckin' crazy,

Sick and twisted maybe,

Low key though she's a crybaby,

 

And my cat Daisy always smells like shit,

Take one whiff and you'll surely get lit,

Merry Christmas Daisy dingleberries,

The crunchy goodness oh-so hairy,

 

Well that's my cat Daisy,

She's hella crazy,

Sick and twisted maybe,

Funny thing is she's a straight up crybaby,

 

And so my cat Daisy,

She's really fuckin' lazy,

She wont go anywhere that she has to make a jump,

Every spot is green-lit for her to take a dump,

 

And my kitty cat Daisy,

She's fuckin' crazy,

Sick and twisted maybe,

She knows that she's a crybaby,

 

My mentally ill Daisy is just like any wife,

Plotting and scheming on how to take your life,

That pussy is getting pretty old,

Hopefully I'll live so that her story can be told,

 

And that's the story of my cat Daisy,

She's fuckin' crazy,

Sick and twisted maybe,

A low key kitty cat crybaby.

 

BY: JARED HARRIS

NOVEMBER 3, 2021