A turkey in sheep's clothing
"Fattening up time" the wall calendar read
which meant only one thing to old farmer Ted.
Christmas was coming and there's money to be made
you see the bigger the bird the more he'd be paid.
He'd saved up all year and bought high quality feed
to ensure that his flock was the best he could breed.
So this year Ted's turkeys would be the tastiest in town
and the best biggest birds would bring more bucks per pound.
Last Christmas one turkey was the luckiest bird
you see, she was too small to be sold so her death was deferred.
And being the braniest of birds ever born on the farm
meant she could outsmart farmer Ted instead of coming to harm.
Whilst Farmer Ted fed her friends to fatten the flock
she counted her calories to avoid the chopping block.
And as Ted's children had played, their fondness had grown
for "Tiny Tina the turkey" as she was affectionately known.
This year she told other turkeys of why they were bred
"they'll feed you and fatten you and then cut off your head
and then stuff and roast you and on you they'll be fed"
The head turkey was horrified and asked "what could we do"
"should we run and hide or hold a farmyard coup?"
"Don't worry" replied Tina "I've hatched a plan so daring"
"I'm convinced it won't fail cos I've spent the last year preparing"
So she told the turkeys her plan of what she had devised;
"We'll fool the farmer this year by going disguised"
"I've collected wool from the sheep for the perfect scam
and made us costumes to wear as part of my plan
to avoid the oven this year if disguised as a lamb"
Next day the farmer was up with the cracking of dawn
and couldn't believe what he saw as he stepped out on his lawn
No turkeys in sight, he could see none around
and after searching his farm, none could be found
He stood in his farmyard scratching his beard
wondering how all his turkeys could have just disappeared.
And why were his lambs walking with a waddle?
and instead of a bleat they spoke with a gobble!