A turkey in sheep's clothing

"Fattening up time" the wall calendar read

which meant only one  thing to old farmer Ted.

Christmas was coming and there's money to be made

you see the bigger the bird the more he'd be paid.


He'd saved up all year and bought high quality feed

to ensure that his flock was the best he could breed.

So this year Ted's turkeys would be the tastiest in town

and the best biggest birds would bring more bucks per pound.


Last Christmas one turkey was the luckiest bird

you see, she was too small to be sold so her death was deferred.

And being the braniest of  birds ever born on the farm

meant she could outsmart farmer Ted instead of coming to harm.


Whilst Farmer Ted fed her friends to fatten the flock

she counted her calories to avoid the chopping block.

And as Ted's children had played, their fondness had grown

for "Tiny Tina the turkey" as she was affectionately known.


This year she told other turkeys of why they were bred

"they'll feed you and fatten you and then cut off your head

and then stuff and roast you and on you they'll be fed"


The head turkey was horrified and asked "what could we do"

"should we run and hide or hold a farmyard coup?"

"Don't worry" replied Tina "I've hatched a plan so daring"

"I'm convinced it won't fail cos I've spent the last year preparing"


So she told the turkeys her plan of what she had devised;

"We'll fool the farmer this year by going disguised"

"I've collected wool from the sheep for the perfect scam

and made us costumes to wear as part of my plan

to avoid the oven this year if disguised as a lamb"


Next day the farmer was up with the cracking of dawn

and couldn't believe what he saw as he stepped out on his lawn

No turkeys in sight, he could see none around

and after searching his farm, none could be found


He stood in his farmyard scratching his beard

wondering how all his turkeys could have just disappeared.

And why were  his lambs walking with a waddle?

and instead of a bleat they spoke with a gobble!


Christmasfarmerfunnyhumournarrative poemstoryTurkey

Where the sea meets the sky......... ►


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Jeff Dawson

Fri 26th Apr 2019 06:55

Hi Wayne, welcome to WOL, this made me smile, Thanks for your comments on my work, much appreciated, I've got an observation about Sri Lanka coming soon, best wishes Jeff

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Wayne McLellan

Wed 24th Apr 2019 23:15

Thanks for reading and the great comments on my first poem chaps ?

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jennifer Malden

Wed 24th Apr 2019 14:41

Nice one! One does feel a little guilty every December. I wrote Tom Turkey's Lament last Xmas,, a similar plot to avoid extermination, but i think Tiny Tina was even more cunning! Enjoyed this one.


<Deleted User> (21487)

Wed 24th Apr 2019 12:42

I do enjoy a good giggle - thank you for it.

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Wayne McLellan

Wed 24th Apr 2019 10:26

Ripping barn yarn!

Thanks brian?

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Brian Maryon

Wed 24th Apr 2019 10:08

Ripping yarn!

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