"Fattening up time" the wall calendar read

which meant only one  thing to old farmer Ted.

Christmas was coming and there's money to be made

you see the bigger the bird the more he'd be paid.

 

He'd saved up all year and bought high quality feed

to ensure that his flock was the best he could breed.

So this year Ted's turkeys would be the tastiest in town

and the best biggest birds would bring more bucks per pound.

 

Last Christmas one turkey was the luckiest bird

you see, she was too small to be sold so her death was deferred.

And being the braniest of  birds ever born on the farm

meant she could outsmart farmer Ted instead of coming to harm.

 

Whilst Farmer Ted fed her friends to fatten the flock

she counted her calories to avoid the chopping block.

And as Ted's children had played, their fondness had grown

for "Tiny Tina the turkey" as she was affectionately known.

 

This year she told other turkeys of why they were bred

"they'll feed you and fatten you and then cut off your head

and then stuff and roast you and on you they'll be fed"

 

The head turkey was horrified and asked "what could we do"

"should we run and hide or hold a farmyard coup?"

"Don't worry" replied Tina "I've hatched a plan so daring"

"I'm convinced it won't fail cos I've spent the last year preparing"

 

So she told the turkeys her plan of what she had devised;

"We'll fool the farmer this year by going disguised"

"I've collected wool from the sheep for the perfect scam

and made us costumes to wear as part of my plan

to avoid the oven this year if disguised as a lamb"

 

Next day the farmer was up with the cracking of dawn

and couldn't believe what he saw as he stepped out on his lawn

No turkeys in sight, he could see none around

and after searching his farm, none could be found

 

He stood in his farmyard scratching his beard

wondering how all his turkeys could have just disappeared.

And why were  his lambs walking with a waddle?

and instead of a bleat they spoke with a gobble!