Poetry Blogs (2017, depression)

Find Meaning in Self

Hello,
To the wind,
Again,
How it moves me (the leaves and branches of a dead tree).

For,
Do you sing along with petals of the daisies,
Or
Do you whistle and chime the metal that dangles from my tree?

Little a chance you gave me,
To feel whole once again,
She told me,
Didn't she?

What's that?
You say,
Again?
No you see the moon is bright tonight and the rain not brittle in my ...

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appreciationdepressionself-love

My Muse Is Dead

Beige walls stand empty where original artworks once hung
A woman, beyond her years in mind and body, sits at her desk
Staring at a screen that, despite vast knowledge at her fingertips
Is empty
The cloud of cognizance that enveloped her has cleared
Ridiculed by those she trusted
"Over medicated"
No more pills
No more gange
Nothing to help control the demons within her mind
There is no feeling o...

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adhdartistsbipolarBipolar depression sadnessbulliesdepressiongiving up on passionsgiving up on peoplemedicationmental illnessocdprocessing emotionsptsdshame

What does it feel like?

What dose it feel like?

Does if feel like you’re floating?

On ice cold ocean waves,

Or lukewarm puffy clouds.

Does it feel like you have been hanging?

You’re finally cut loose,

Relived as you hit the ground.

Is it painful?

When you leave

Do you feel it?

Does your heart break?

Knowing your time has come,

While you fade into oblivion.

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darknessdeathdepressionemotionsfeelingslifeoblivionpasssadnessunknown

Pick Up (A Selfish Poem)

Your Skype signed in again
It’s so tempting to call you
There’s a voice screaming at me to just
Pick up the phone
Just pick up the phone
Against every urge
I’m silent, all except these prose
I must stay silent
Must wait
Wait for what?
For the message, the text, the phone call
Another voice tells me
That will never happen
Selfishly, I want you to miss me
I want to make you miss me
Ma...

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adhdanxietybut i refuse to act selfish anymoreddepressionheartbreaki am allowed to have selfish feelingsi miss youi miss you alreadylong distancelovemissselfishSometimes I wake up still thinking of youthinking of youthis is my outletz

Take Them

Take Them

Take these lies off my chest

Let me bleed from the gaping holes

No need to stitch me back up

These fallacy filled temptations

My main attraction

Hiding my true neuroticism

Telling the world stories

Of oh how amazing I am

How gorgeous

Such a demanding presence

Such an alluring sham

How dare I not live up to the expectations

Of a gorgeous woman 

Li...

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body imageBreastsdepressionsexualization

Secrets

Today I am feeling unloved,

Does anyone actually care?

I know some people do

Though it feels like they are never here.

I am loved,

However I feel absolutely unloved.

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caredepressionemotionsfeelingsharmlovesadsadnesssecretsunloved

Reminiscent

Wind rocks my boat tonight,
Sitting on this bed I feel little more than whole,
The nausea creating holes in my fickle heart.

Father walks cold in the streets of Paris,
Back turned to me,
I wander further upon this ragged terrain.

Distant memories fading yet again,
For in the presence of men and wind,
My skin becomes fatal.

The very blood,
Putrid,
And foul.

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abandonanxietyDepressionfearmemoryself-hate

Purpose

Death,

I'm waiting, are you hear yet?

Death,

Take me away from this horrid mess

Death,

You are more peaceful then this painful life

Death,

Can you take me? Take me tonight.

Life,

Why do you do this, it's not nice

Life,

Your so complicated, why?

Life,

What's the point in this (?), when we are all gonna die 

Life,

I've had enough, i hope death takes me to...

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DeathDepressionLifeLonelyoverthinkingPurposequestioningSadSadness

Destined to succeed

I have no reasons to stop, no reasons to halt,
I have no reasons to cry over my fault.

I have no reason to fear, ah! no depression;
I have no reasons to regret
Or betray my passion.

Life often puts me in a hell,
Yet I find a grace,
When it pushes me unto heaven
I don't lose my face.


I might have got no respect
Not a penny fame.
Yet I am not without a critic
Nor without a dirty name...

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criticsdepressiondestinyfail

I Can Be Good (Z)

With each and every prose I think of new things to outpour onto this page. Ideas and feelings flow through me, conflicting, and most of the time I am ok.

I've been sober since then; nothing helps this anymore. Every day starts out slow, in a haze, then I feel ok and content and myself for a few hours. Once noon rolls around, my heart hurts, my stomach turns, my head spins, and I leave class to ...

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adhdbipolardepressionlong distancelong distance lovelovepolyamorouspolyamorypsychpsychologyzach

Cast Aside

Cast Aside

A woman cries for now she knows

Her love is unconditional

Weeping at the empty kitchen table

One, two, three in the morning

None are awake but her

Right hand reaches out to air

She wails

“There was no choice to make!”

Yet she always knew, in some way

Either too much to handle

Or not enough

But always cast aside

 

Anger will not manifest

Her l...

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adhdarbitrarybipolarcast asidechancechoicescrydepressionheartheartbreakheartbrokenlate nightlovepolyamorouspolyamory

monster

I always told my mom that there was a monster under my bed. She of course never believed me,she always said that i had an over imagination. She gave me a night light so the monster would go away,but that never helped,it just angered her. There was nothing I could do to get rid of this monster,so I ignored it,I listened to music every night so I couldn’t hear the screams. I’m 16 now,the monster is ...

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depressionscarystory

no one sees

can no one see the pain of the shadow of a broken girl

living in a broken home?

can no one see the scars that her “cat” has made?

or the fact that there are new ones almost everyday?

does anyone notice the pain behind her eyes?

the “i’m fine” and a fake smile?

does anyone even care about anyone else anymore?

the name calling “whore” “slut” “fat” “ugly” “stupid” and many more

...

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depressionsad

Identity

Swiftly in the breeze,
Greatest tides crash,
Children playing softly in the sand.

Geese flock in arrows and the sky so warm,
I witness the power of sanity,
Yet I recoil from it in unforgettable agony.

The truth is that in this world,
You become what you are,
And you die that way.

Yet

I must disagree,
For even if the great moon shining in the sky collapses into the ocean below, t...

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anxietydepressionidentity

The Somewhere: Bricks and Cement

Fuck.
Shit.
God Damnit.
Why can't you just look and see me?
Well.


I know you can. 
Kinda Sorta. 
You just don't stop.
You don't consider looking at cracks.


The old school walls are a burgundy color that no one finds interesting.


Maybe once in awhile.
For a brief second.
Someone.

She was new in school, I think. 
Never saw her before until sophmore year.
Pretty outgoing....

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Connor LannesDepressionHighschoolSadnessSuicideThe Somewhere

Life at the Plateau

The Plateau

The view from here is calm and true

The grassy steppes stretch out of sight

From plainness slowly dullness grew

From winning I have lost my fight

Life once sharper, numbs to bland

And feet sink deeper into sand.

 

The uphill struggle left me weak

Fingers bloodied, grip was lost

Each ridge ahead still seemed the peak

Life was stripped, I paid the cos...

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depressionhopelife

The Swan Effect

The Swan Effect                                                                                                                                          Your slender neck and wings so clean

Graceful movement, so serene,

The purest feathers which you preen

Are what attracts the eye.

 

Curves and power, gliding slow,

Majestic as a river flow

Sleek and gently strong you go

Sli...

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depressionnature

A Life in Colour

entry picture

A Life in Colour

The challenge as I rise from bed

Is turning greys to green and red.

The drabness of the everyday

Takes a rainbow, turns it grey.

The colours sharp are lit by sun.

Red, orange, yellow, new begun.

Green, blue, violet quickly fade

Primary, pastel, into shade.

A squirrel, seal, a worm, a whale

Don’t worry that they live so pale.

The tortoise carries we...

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depressionhope

I see

I see a crescent shape besides the road,
Where the luminescence of your body makes for a show,
From the cinema.

Great expanses of falling leaves offers guidance,
But little tranquility,
Your silhouette proving but lengthy in my memory.

I was once told to find arches in the waves,
To witness flames creeping from the sands of tomorrow,
Greatness does not reach out and grab small men.

...

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Depressionlovepenguins

Addiction

The once forgotten wind swaying without rhythm,
Is found to replace such a decrepit world in which you have been forged,
The sun creating gleams on shadows just barely sharp enough to see.

Arcs streak vibrant colours against the stars,
I witness the changing of the seasons by day,
Little does the boat rock aboard the shore.

Shattering dreams,
My very will owing to the expansive shadows,
...

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addictionbeautydepressionhopelessnesssadnessstrengthwhole

Carry On

Carry on

Sometimes I can't even talk
I just want to be left alone
With my own thoughts
Other times I don't want to be on my own
I just want someone to hold me
And make me feel safe and at home

Sometimes I can barely walk
I just want to stay in bed all day
Hoping the pain will go away
Other times I want to fight it and carry on
Even though I know it might bring a flare up on

The p...

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depressionPainsuffering

Feel Like I'm Crazy

Feel Like I'm Crazy

The doctor tells me "it's Fibromyalgia"
I've never heard of it before
But I think finally I have an answer
For all of my pain
But it doesn't take me long to decipher
It's something that they can't explain
Do they think that I'm insane?

They don't understand it
There is no cure
It's a curse not an answer
And I don't know how much more of this I can endure

They ...

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anxietydepressionmental healthPainstresssuffering

colorblind.

color used to be a distant memory.

I had seen the world in black and white for so long 
I couldn't even tell you the shades in a rainbow.

I had gotten used to playing along
when people would say 
"look at how bright! look at how wonderful! look at how vivid! look at how beautiful the world is!"
I would smile 
and say 
yeah, it's amazing
when all I saw were dismal shades of grey and bl...

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colorcolorblinddepressionfamilylove

Bashful Sun

Take it to the moon,
The way the ocean gleams and the way I cry,
Oh how the tears are truthful,
They speak my mind.

Deep down by the ocean shore there lays what was once a shell,
Now simply the water that it once emerged from,
Little else but shattered rock and the remnants of a cold past.

I don't believe in the rights of men among soldiers,
Yet I feel the ocean's tide may wipe away my...

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Depressionhopelesslonelymisguidance

The hidden pain

If life is as easy

as some make it seem

maybe life will be easy for me.

Days will be sunny and

even nights will seem bright and

people will smile because hey,

rain is alright!

Even the birds will be

singing their tunes after, of course 

sleeping in until noon.

Evil will have gone by and

don't try to tell me otherwise!

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depressionhidden meaningsuicide awareness month

A Triadic Structure of Depression

entry picture

My poetry's hollow and null
And like my life it is quite dull
So I ramble and cry
And I wish to just die
While I ponder why I've not been culled.

 

And yes even so
I continue to write words
With no direct form

 

Rhyme scheme, structure, they mean very little
To a person who has no control of their life
And apathetically watches as he carries on strife.
And in a rotted hole, th...

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AnxietyConnor LannesDepressionPoetryStructure

Shallow Bends on a Wide Road

I take one step forward into a shallow grave,
Fallacy of unbecoming men shaving my arm’s skin,
To gander to the flames of hell beneath the shades of daybreak.

Witnessing the colourful green and yellow of a son’s dying wish,
To water the plants once more, 
did you belong in such a infallible place?

Oh great carnivore amongst the grass and angry hollowed out ships,
DOES THE FIRE BURN DEEP...

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angerdepressionsadness

The Begging Tree

Dark shadows willow under trees of the forgotten essence,
I feel lonely again,
The honey strikes through reflections of the moon.

Does anyone care for me?
Do I deserve to fear the lonely future?
Or does the universe have a plan.

Yet still the clouds roll in unhalting,
To cover my eyes blind,
I put my hands forward into petrifying darkness.

Witnessing the great meaning of rain throug...

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depressionhopelesslonelylovelessmiserablesad

Transient Beauty

Daisies in a meadow's bend,
Water dripping from the pale rocks,
And the moonlight shining deeply beneath the hallowed earth.

Do you witness the sky’s transient beauty?
Do you see the world’s unholy inconsistency?
Or do you perhaps wander ever blinder into the abyss of rock and dirt.

Forgo the witnessed lands behind the gravel topped mountains,
The light ricocheting off the wind,
Bleedi...

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Depressionforgottenhopelesslonelinesslovesadness

The Final Witness

Shallowly sagging in vicious winds of a cold autumn night,

The grass vibrates me a tune as I wander forwards through green and yellow forest,

Blissful mist of rain creating small fluorescent puddles on my skin.

 

The acidic thorns of men once stood behind the walls of fantasy seeping into the water,

Scorching my skin,

Red splotches ooze remnants of a world once to have been seen ...

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angeranxietyDepressionfirehopelessManiasadnessstress

Divided

I wish to be heard.  To bridge the divide

auto-ostracising me from common

experience.  Common understanding,

inclusion and collusion in present’s

moment.  I think ahead what response my

actions engender.  My words carefully

controlled, observation

based: precision vocabulary I

once envied – recycled at will,

effect calculated.  For reflection

on me, upping my status, ...

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depressionisolationself worthsocially awkward

PaperMate (explicit)

I am my own best friend, 
me and my burning pen. 
Together alone 
through everything 
we have been,
my papermate and I 
find myself, I lose my way,  
I lose myself, I find my way, 
I come back around again 
then square I go, 
alone.

Cut the nose, spite the face, 
I got pride, I got space, 
not a number, not a mistake. 
Slave never 
a sheep black as me 
so black I am the light, 
pu...

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ChangedepressionFreewritingSpokenword

Dad

It swings under branches of devious fallacy,
To see shade streaming in through the darkened sun,
Red tips faltering beneath an ever-greener sky.

I wander and pick the flower,
The thorns bleed my blood,
Specs of iron ricocheting a color I had yet before seen.

Green and yellow hardened through great tragedy,
The moon does not shine this faltered night,
Instead wandering the blissless ski...

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depressionlonelinesslossloveself-love

Forgotten Children

entry picture

As the sun transcends on a forgotten city
in tent's they dwell, nowhere to rest their heads 
as the colours fade with the passing of time
in moments of thought, they face their dread.

They are old, they are young, they are starving
forgotten children with no place to call home
names upon headstones they are carving
feeling hopeless, defenseless, lost and alone

Night time despair, crawl...

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depressiondesperationHomelessnesspoverty

Yet again, truly alone

Swinging in the breeze amongst the Everglades I wish to be seen,
To hear the sand on beaches once again,
To wallow so graciously for the hope of the morning.

--

I gather for the ceremony on the hill’s crescent top,
Sitting for hours,
Watching the grass sway side to side in the breeze.

I wait for sunrise over the ocean ahead,
Small puddles form beneath my feet,
The rivers do not reac...

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Depressionhopelessloss

Fight or Flight

Black Dog.  Stalking me.  Matching

every step.  Haunting

my shadow.  Nanometre

before manifestation.

 

My psyche cringes.  Ruin’s

proximity creeping fear

into me.  One false move.  One

trip.  One fall.  One turn against

the flow, the stalking dog bites.

 

And I press on.   Walk with fear

behind me.  I’ve been knocked down.

I’ve got up.  I’ve re-built lives.

...

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depressionfighting backmental healthovercome adversity

The Tug of Depression

entry picture

The tug of depression
It was always there
It's my greates lesson
That life wasn't mean to be fair
It's the shackles on my legs
The clouds over my head
It's the dead of the night
Never far from sight
It's the weight holding me down
Turning the smile into a frown
It's the whiskey I didn't need
Making me think I'm free
It's my monotone life
Making me scared of the highs
It's the prison ...

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darkdepressionfearfightinglight

The Meaning of the Stars

It became the moon above the ashes,

I winded sight of the streams that gushed through the glaciers,

And I wander about their blanket of flowers.

 

Did the sky become bleak for a reason?

 

To wander about the broken path within the rotting forest of the mind,

To feel sadness down and witness the flames rise from the oceans,

To sit beneath the stars for the comfort of the dis...

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brillianceDepressiondreamsfuturehopelovemystery

With Eyes Toward the Sky

In the Sundays of meadows,
Stricken by the dashes of a rainbow gleaming through the corpse of rain,
I see you.

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depression

Few Could Wake Before a Raging Current

Walking to the high mountains on a side,
I am perplexed before the raging current,
I don't know where to turn or run.

The truth is that I wander the sides of a street uninhabited by man,
The pavement overflowing with failure and sadness.

Take a look over the edge,
Take a look into the abyss of this world,
So stale the crumbs of rotten food.

The way the leaves whistle the call of a mo...

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breakupdepressionderealizationfearfeelingshappinesshopelesslostromance

What Color Do You Feel Like Today?

Today, 

I feel like the color Blue. 

 

It seems like every day, 

I feel like the color Blue. 

 

You may ask, 

how do you know 

what Blue feels like? 

 

It's when you're sitting alone 

in the Blue room 

of your one bedroom apartment 

contemplating your whole existence. 

 

Blue is when 

you don’t feel good about yourself, 

when you don’t  

feel l...

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bluedepressionsadnessselfhelp

Anxiety, My Companion (a daily struggle)

entry picture

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes I can

rail against it,

sometimes it

conquers me.

 

Sometimes I hide

it well, other

days the fatigue

of fighting it shows.

 

Some people

Sympathize,

Empathize

Others say,

"Get over Yourself."

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AnxietyDepressionSaddness

Ready To Die

entry picture

She let anger consume her heart,

Rage and love was not far apart. 

All emotions bottled up inside,

Hence why she couldn't confide. 

 

Fury itself could not compete with her,

Madness just continued to stir.

Wrath didn't say a word, 

But temper suddenly spurred. 

 

A darkness clouded her whole being,

Realising her whole life had no meaning.

Praying one last time t...

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depressionsadnessSolidarity

Sincerely Yours

Spring was formed in the evening by the residual dew of storms,

When I gandered out the window in the morning,

Looking for you wearing your dress,

With the dreams of a family, I had once had,

I found nothing

 

In my mind.

 

Where are you?

I wonder towards old times written in tablets to the tune of women and children,

And I ask,

Where are you about to go and see,

...

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DepressionHeartbreakloveMelodramaticSadSincerely Yours

Mind

My mind is racing up
I can't control my thought
Am loosing the track
And now there's no turning back
No time to fall
No time to break 

I feel like drowning 
The river keep calling 
Knife on my skin
The blood's running   
And isn't getting better 

My fingers across the gun
This is my fun
Oh! They found the trigger 
This time I won't be a loser
Just shut you eyes (Ain't needing yo...

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depression

Medication that's what I need

I slip one in my mouth,

It melts. 

Delicious. 

I lick strawberry lips.

Kissed by magic.

It takes away my pain,

Senses numbed. 

Nothing seems to matter. 

Apathy takes a hold. 

25mg maximum dose.

Is it working?

I have no clue.

I have lost my inner self. 

I don't want to feel the pain,

But without it there's no escape. 

I want to taste the rainbow,

To r...

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bipolardepressionMedicationpschosis

Converged Atop a Lonely Island

I sit alone at a corner shop,

Eating my meal,

Content.

 

It's strange to be alone;

 

why

 

Not that I'm unaware of its presence,

Not that I fear it's belonging,

Not even that it's strange because of the surrounding people,

All accompanied by at least another.

 

My soul intrinsically separated,

Perhaps.

 

More likely,

I simply feel at ease.

 

...

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Converged atop a lonely islandDepressionImageryLonelyRevering

Swaying of a Bird

Trepidatiously the wings of a bird may sway,

Breezing through the air with shallow willows,

Gushing in and out of the crevice created by my mind.

 

Oh but the wind does not sway this elegant being,

It may be pushed but seldom unbalanced,

I seek the feathers.

 

Though the sky’s mouth may gape above and scatter its light,

The bird will remain in a secular path,

As thoug...

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angerdepressiondespairdoubtfearhappinesshopesadnessSwaying of a Bird

Red Velvet Sand

I feel the pricks of sand beneath my tender hands,

As though I were sat atop a shattered glass beach,

With my head cocked towards the blissful Sky.

 

I don't understand how this could be;

As I do not feel,

the pain of others within the crevices of my fingers.

 

For I was born to rain upon this world,

In magnificent showers.

 

But where I am now

-- between the se...

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adolescencedepressiondoubtfailurefamilyfearhopelessRed Velvet Sandstuck

Ashes of a Phoenix

Looking towards my hands,

I feel them mutter a tone,

Of disdain and sadness,

Dirty and pale, bleeding out from within.

 

The colors of the honeycomb which is my life,

Building in a way to demonstrate the failures and flaws of my being,

To make it simply this: I feel trapped.

 

Trapped between the Rock and the grass of an ever developing future,

One, of course, that I ...

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Ashes of a Phoenixbleedingdepressiondoubtfailurefamilyfearhopelessmisery

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