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Under Heard Announcements (Nonets)
This is a secure announcement. If
you do not hold a valuable
ticket, you may be issued
with a Penalty Fare
or face possible
persecution.
See it, slay
it, sort
it.
Due to today's wet weather, please note
that services may be slippery.
We are experiencing
some cankerous delays
and luggage may be
terminated.
See it, slay
...Friday 15th March 2024 2:21 pm
Bikes on Trains are phucked too
By Bill 53 1/2.
You see them standing near you.
On the platform packed with life.
Their fucking vacant smiles
shows no care for the strife.
That their crappy worn out bike,
Will cause all when jammed onto the train.
As it blocks the doors and takes precious space,
And adds tenfold to commuter pain.
Travellers shuffle by,
With many a stumble and fall.
...Saturday 14th October 2023 9:16 pm
Trains are phucked
By Bill 53 1/2.
Spoo on the seats
Snot n dribble too.
Is what I always think about
when on the way to you.
The loud music is playing
From the selfish prick nearby.
How I want to ream his arse,
with a hot, king size 4n20 pie.
The temperature is hot or cold
Nothing ever in between.
White collar and high viz alike.
Enduring the temps - extreme.
...
Friday 13th October 2023 4:51 am
Ghost Train
Ghost Train
This is the ghost train that won’t make the Border,
Bringing chaos and transport disorder
More cash for the rich, no help to the poor
Closed shops on the corner, all empty next door
Pulling up in Brum, the end of the line
Well over budget, stopped in time
No cotton grass or moorland boulder
No fast trains til we’re all a lot older
No student railcards o...
Monday 9th October 2023 2:10 pm
Rolling down to London
Rolling down to london on a train,
the taught and shining buds
of Spring are bursting on the trees.
Wharfedale’s misted in a bluish haze,
but heaps of plastic refuse in the woods
on the drab periphery of Leeds
descend my mood from buoyancy to pain.
Rolling forwards now, the rape fields blaze
and blackthorns bloom with pearls,
resplendent in the boundary hedges
we...
Sunday 4th June 2023 8:59 pm
My life on track
My early life relied so much on trains,
to catch just one to write about’s a problem!
Too many have been subject to delays
or cancelled altogether, to applaud them:
the “bogs” I took to school were crammed and smelly;
my backpacker travels, the aura no more fresh;
a record seven hour wait once, in New Delhi;
I almost got killed on the Tangier-Marrakesh…
But overa...
Wednesday 31st May 2023 8:53 am
A Train of Thought
My step dad, Robin, passed away a short time ago at the ripe old age of 94. An incredible man, he lived an incredible life, including working at Bletchley Park codebreaking during the war, putting out fires at ST Paul's Cathedral, living in Australia, India, Ireland and Scotland and writing numerous books in his role as a well respected minister and scholar. He met my mum again after 50 years, p...
Sunday 1st July 2018 6:45 am
The Return of 7:22 (at 7:27 )
In their wool blend suits
And Primani boots
Crusaders on a mission
Like jockeys before the National
They jostle for position
As the 7:22 snakes into view
They anticipate her breaks
She grinds unto a squeaking halt
Before the incumbents make their escape
Hands in pockets lined in pockets
Aligned to the doors
They brace and embrace the putrid heat
Swim toward a ...
Thursday 4th January 2018 1:43 pm
Thoughts on the Train
It's hot in here.
Humid,
Crowded,
Is it just me who's sweating?
I look around and everyone seems to be in their own word,
Their little bubbles...
Yet here I stand feeling all eyes on me.
Please, don't stare.
The door opens as people rush to leave.
Push and shove,
Push and shove,
As the newcomers join us.
Please stand clear of the closing doors...
It...
Saturday 3rd June 2017 1:29 am
Lights
Now the lights are coming on
pink and orange, white and blue
from this distance they seem to melt into an aura
a haze hung above this haunted city
A clock tower looms over the rails
passing through this place I've never stopped here
I know nothing about how it moves or swells or stalls
but the lights all blanket it so heavenly
I think to myself, I'd like to return someday
Always, I fi...
Sunday 26th March 2017 2:34 am
Speeding on through Somewhereshire
Unfamiliar livery
Adorns familiar trains
Myriad trees, multi-shaped
Silent window frames
Station signs unreadable
A metal phonetic blur
Speeding on through Somewhereshire
On a train to who knows where
TK Maxx and Staples
Retail worship shrines
Ears burst in tunnels
As beneath the soil we dive
Conservatories and patios
Buzzing power lines
Tearing on th...
Monday 23rd September 2013 5:14 pm
The Wrong Sort of Train
Four days after I wrote this, the following article appeared in the Daily Telegraph:-‘A train company blamed “the wrong sort of passenger” for the problems some had in reaching London for the celebrations.’
The Wrong Sort of Train
We’re sorry the trains are not running you know
Tomorrow we hope they’ll be fine
But nature has dealt us a sad autumn blow
There...
Monday 18th June 2012 3:25 pm
Cheaper to Bang, a split ticket saga.
For those who don't know Bang Said The Gun is a hugely successful performance poetry event which has run in London for over 10 years. Just over a month ago an intrepid bunch of Mancunian poets attempted to transfer its uniquely rowdy weekly format to the North West. As one of the first poets to be invited to headline, what follows are the travails of an artist attempting to keep down travel...
Saturday 9th June 2012 8:42 am
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