The Wrong Sort of Train

entry picture


Four days after I wrote this, the following article appeared in the Daily Telegraph:-‘A train company blamed “the wrong sort of passenger” for the problems some had in reaching London for the celebrations.’


The Wrong Sort of Train


We’re sorry the trains are not running you know

Tomorrow we hope they’ll be fine

But nature has dealt us a sad autumn blow

There’s the wrong sort of leaves on the line.


We’re sorry your train is not leaving here yet,

Just when it will start we don’t know.

The weather is cold and there’s ice on the track

Brought on by the wrong sort of snow.


We’re sorry departure is rather delayed

Your train won’t be leaving on time.

The warning light’s flashing with message displayed

The wrong sort of wheels on the line.


We’re sorry your train can’t move – it has to stay,

As we’re missing a safety device.

We’re hoping they’ll send us one later today

Then you’ll be on your way in a trice.


We’re sorry you’re hungry and dying of thirst

Believe us we know how you feel

But we mustn’t take risks, we must put safety first –

’cos our trolley has just lost a wheel.


Just one more announcement that we have to make

Then we really won’t call you again.

Will you all please alight as there’s been a mistake,

You’re the wrong sort of people to be on our train.








◄ Nuclear Cradle Song

Us Nolimpics ►


tony sheridan

Mon 8th Oct 2012 12:02

What excuse will they think up next? Nice one. Take care, Tony.

<Deleted User> (6895)

Tue 18th Sep 2012 21:28

We would just like to
'express'our delight
in having read all the 'lines'
-must go-our glasses are 'steaming' up-why?
cos they have hot toddies in em.....
we'll get our coats.xx

Profile image

Lynn Dye

Mon 17th Sep 2012 11:40

Hi again, Yvonne. No problems, he also laughed at it. He agreed about the wrong sort of passengers, haha, he was joking too.x

Profile image

Lynn Dye

Mon 17th Sep 2012 10:46

This is brilliantly written, Yvonne, and so funny. My other half can tell stories on just what a problem leaves on the line are, and also how come they really had the wrong type of snow! Doesn't necessarily make for good listening though, this is much more amusing.
Just love it. x

Profile image

John Coopey

Mon 27th Aug 2012 10:08

Just seen this, Y. Musta mistit while I was on holiwags.
Wrong sort of passenger - excellent. As a nation we seem happy to be told we are the wrong sort of customer. Too late, too early, wrong shape, too poor. What I detest is the assumption in many shops that I have to defend why I'm not parting with my money.
Anyways, I haven't seen you post for a bit; been away? I posted one a week or so ago which might appeal to you ( I think we share the same demographic as they say - old gits!) called Crossroads Motel which is a literary fusion of Leonard Cohen and Amy Turtle.

Profile image


Sat 14th Jul 2012 12:12

A "first class" travel poem---Well done.

<Deleted User> (6895)

Tue 19th Jun 2012 10:12

Chucklingly charming chuck!! xx

Profile image

Harry O'Neill

Mon 18th Jun 2012 19:35


Witty - woman - witty!

<Deleted User> (10423)

Mon 18th Jun 2012 15:40

Absolutely love it! Nice one, Yvonne.

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message