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Selling Christmas Trees and Roman Candles, 1950

 

 

 

 

Selling Christmas Trees and Roman Candles, 1950

 

My older married brother, Willy, asked Kenny and me if we would like to help him sell Christmas trees. We said, “Sure we would love to help.”

Willy had gone into the woods and cut a number of cedar trees. We were going to sell them out of the back of his old Plymouth station wagon and an old trailer. The NAPA auto store...

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christmaschurchpastorroman candlessales

Cheap Whore

Cheap Whore

I don’t cost very much,
virtually giving it away
you like to watch and listen
but you don’t like to pay
I keep you entertained
turning inventive tricks
arousing you all night
giving you your kicks
you like it when I’m oral
you like to feel my pain
you like the kick and twist of it
again again again
I try to sell you add-ons
but you won’t buy my wares
I’ve given you a p...

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brokefreebieperformance poetrysalesunpaid work

Speeding on through Somewhereshire

Unfamiliar livery

Adorns familiar trains

Myriad trees, multi-shaped

Silent window frames

Station signs unreadable

A metal phonetic blur

Speeding on through Somewhereshire

On a train to who knows where

 

TK Maxx and Staples

Retail worship shrines

Ears burst in tunnels

As beneath the soil we dive

Conservatories and patios

Buzzing power lines

Tearing on th...

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rappersretailsalesshopstagstrain journeystrainstravellingtrees

Depth Of A Salesman

I did it babe – I’m the new recruit!

The posh bird in the pin-striped suit

Shook my hand and told me straight

That I was the perfect candidate.

She swallowed all the usual lies

And failed to see through my disguise.

I love the confidence I can win

With a false CV and a cheeky grin.

 

I did it babe – I got the sale!

I went and spun this guy a tale

Of w...

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humourlyingsales

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