I collect up the pieces of my former life

Photos, articles, trinkets and pictures,

that reverberate with a life once lived,

far away from where  I am now.

I was once a borderline, edging death.

A cathartic catchpole where I caught nothing but pain. 

Grazing on the  remnants of the past, I realise 

that I was set up to fail.

No one there to see the beating heart of kindness.

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Pain in my stomach, heart, mind,
stabs of a knife 
I yearn for this piercing pain 
I've lacked it far too long.

Ungrateful love:
Punch me, hurt me, kill me almost.

Almost.

so later
when the rain has ceased
a flower can bloom again
a new blossom
the same plant

Revive me, ungrateful love
Make me another

Kill me.

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Moving On

staring through the window
at that dark and dismal place
where shadows danced and jittered
and a stranger had my face
I was shocked, but not surprised, to find
my future hopes would never last
if I stayed gazing in the mirror
and obsessing with the past

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