Some years ago, I realised

I am the driver of my life

And so I chose light

It was a difficult decision

More difficult than it sounds

It’s hard to know what it is to see

When there’s no darkness around

It’s easy to equate pain with feeling

To attach pain to being 

And so I never ran from the dark

I marched towards it

Let it smoke my heart

Instead, it was alw...

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 14 June 1946 — the day malice was given human form again. It reflects on the vile nature of that birth and demands that this parasite be torn from the earth before more harm is done.
 

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Another spotlight, make the headlines.

A final shout-out to the ranks of the-do-fine.

Did I make you stop and think?

Now looking down… from the look down,

me and every other ghost in this town

who couldn’t live life on the brink.

And I say - hey. There’s got to be a way

for everyone who couldn’t be.

Yeah, I say - hey. There’s got to be a way.

Gotta be a way… for m...

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In the twilight of eternal dusk, so cold and vast

Where the night stretches mercilessly, shadows cast

Wanders Conan the barbarian on a path so dire

Lost in the storm of a cruel fate, ensnared by fire

Shadows lengthen, dark serpents glide

Echoes of the past are screams that cannot hide

In the vortex of a destiny wrapped in anguish tight

The steel of his blade mirrors terror’s f...

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I collect up the pieces of my former life

Photos, articles, trinkets and pictures,

that reverberate with a life once lived,

far away from where  I am now.

I was once a borderline, edging death.

A cathartic catchpole where I caught nothing but pain. 

Grazing on the  remnants of the past, I realise 

that I was set up to fail.

No one there to see the beating heart of kindness.

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It’s colder now and seems somehow

more empty than before.

I wish I’d known the future then,

and what it held in store.

No longer is there will of heart

to venture form these walls,

and so I sit alone inside…

when the darkness falls.

Each stone hand crafted for the cause

to block away the pain.

The mortar mixed to guarantee

no feeling will remain.

A mist ens...

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I refuse to exist in the darkness shrouded by my own self loathing...

i choose the light made possible by an all encompassing self love.

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My love changes with the dark

The breezy bright morning girl begins to doubt

Shadows casting through her crowded mind

Memories opened like ancient crypts

Fear flies into anger and dismay 

But let me show you my lady of the light 

Bouncing, shinning, beaming and laughing her infectious laugh

Fast thoughts, feelings, crackling into outer and inner space

Passion 

I will be ...

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beyond sunsets of tangerine

past seas of aquamarine

crimson pouring out of me

I face my final color scheme 

darkness comes

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Can you taste the dew of the day?
If you can, I bet you could taste your soul.
That dark black hole, or is there a light shining in there?
That moment when you feel like your body is betraying your soul.
What a sacred precious stone
So fragile, so lost
Yet so bitter
I know you are fighting; I can feel it
Those late hours, the scratching of your head,
Bitting of nails, wild thoughts
If on...

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In the darkest times, there is always a light,

Someone who will hold you, or just sit with you,

when you are feeling doubt.

Maybe it's a person? Or maybe it's a dog? who looks at you with non-judging unconditional love,

and makes you know everything will be alright!

That makes you put  on your armour and continue to fight,

Because warriors might lose battles and even have scars,

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These suicidal thoughts are like music to my ears,

The requiem of death which only my soul can hear.

Grief synchronises with a melody to heighten my fears, 

A harmonious tune crafted from the anguish I have suffered for years. 

I impatiently wait for my final outro to play,  so I can permanently disappear.

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Attack the darkness, attack the fear

Allow goodness to grow

The mind to clear

Attack the emptiness, let the embers glow

Bring faith to the fore, it’s time for us to show

Show that we’re willing to stand up tall

Show that we’ll try even if we fall

Fall for a cause not by the wayside

Time to run, to charge at the fear

To know we’ve lived life to its cinder

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I like the dark

For what it brings

I like the dark

To stretch my wings

Slipping out of dusk into inks thick black

A cloak flung over life’s dullness

To swipe away all sadness

A clean slate to chalk up more living

Earths slow wink to set us spinning

To say it’s time for those who know

Know the magic of a push not a flow

Time to race, not delay

Night is ours, so l...

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Where is that car going ?

And why is it getting so cold 

Im not sold on this thing called life just yet

Its a hate crime to be stuck here in this hell hole

Pain is digging deep in my soul 

Lately ive been on cloud 9 waiting to rain back down

Get wiped off the windshield splattered on the ground

Oh put it in reverse run back around 

Those tires aint nothing but the continous...

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Broken sensations flood the brain,

attempting analysis would be in vain,

a relentless emotional maelstrom,

wreaking havoc in the mind’s kingdom.

The weather has settled,

a calm both before and after a storm,

stuck in a time loop,

ashen nimbi gather around with scorn.

A shattered refraction pierces the veil,

unveiling islands in various shades of gray,

paths ...

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When you left, you took a piece of my heart

When you left, my whole world came tumbling down

I became so lost

I was left in the dark

You took with you my light 

When you left, I learned to fight

I learned to navigate this world without you by my side

I learned to be strong to no longer rely on your love

You thought I was weak,

For feeling too much

Now, you're the one ...

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Kneel before the rich black mud

the minty plants smell when bruised

she sees the double backed burden

spouting eggs into the brown tea water

shame gathers with the loaches at the bottom

as the dragonfly larvae pounce

and eat those who have just been born

the shadows hold no magic to her yet

Hands fly, she captures a creature

pulling its leg to keep it safe

pulling its...

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My darkness reaches new heights, 

I let my demons loose and they begin to take flight.

Ascending -- the gravity of my sins engulfs me,

and I lose the part of myself which was once light. 

The corruption then starts blackening my soul, forcing it to give up its unavailing fight. 

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My pain screams at the top of its lungs, 

Remembering all the: “if you need me(s)” now with silent tongues. 

Demons storm in and begin to cloud my heart, 

The spell of darkness showers and leaves its unsolicited mark.

My mouth stays still as I’m left without words,

Yet my mind fills with suicidal thoughts flooding in herds.

I wonder how it was to live my past life?

I hope...

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Broken feeling all alone

The dark surrounds you and all is still 

Time stops ticking 

Your heart no longer wants to beat, it no longer wants to live 

You hear a voice whisper 

You hear a voice call your name 

You fall on your knees close your eyes and pray 

You feel his strength 

You hear his voice say , "No more!"

God says , "Rise and grow!"

Have COURAGE to let go......

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Don't ever let anyone convince you 
to not share your soul songs. 

The weaponized words 
they hurl towards you, 
are formed from 
their own insecurities. 

You get one shot, 
in this time and space, 
accompanied by 
crabs in a bucket, 
and a host of other cliches,
determined to control 
your creative mind. 

Give in to dark energy,
and you become it. 

Rise above it. 

By sha...

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it's taking over me

i am my own worst enemy

i am hopelessly lost in my own head

my words are so hollow and dead

hands over mouths

hands aroundyour neck as the gasps become howls

you are so cold and alone

you can search but you will never seek your home

crawl right into my face

its such a dead empty place

crawl right out from the inside

forced out by a sou...

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Kiss me
  in the strawberry fields 
  of your mind.

Kiss me
  in rhythm 
  and rhyme.

Kiss me 
  until darkness 
  becomes sunshine.

Kiss me
  from pain
  to pleasure divine.

Kiss me
  through sands 
  of time.

Kiss me
  beyond death
  to life sublime. 

https://youtu.be/JtsP8PEjdps

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Putting Out the Lamp

In the dusk of early evening one day

I awakened from a belated nap,

And came to find nobody back home yet,

Only the wall lamp flickering away.

I, the child, quickly getting quailed,

Started running away from the dark haunted place,

But soon stopped for looking backward

For some reasons I couldn't quite grasp.

Probably it was the left-a...

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Deny, deny, deny,

modus operandi, 

when caught in a lie.

Can pass a polygraph 

while looking you in the eye. 

Knowing what’s done in dark

eventually comes to light, 

until such time,

deny, deny, deny!  

https://youtu.be/hv_zJrO_ptk

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Illuminating
Fields of gold stretch far and wide
Hues of orange speckled with pinks and yellows
Underneath an open sky

You live here in the light
While I place shades upon the bridge of my nose
To block the blinding light
And live amongst the shadows

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I'm trapped in darkness

Searching for the light to leave

Will I ever find it?

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One by one, every echo bounces off the wall, cant let go. You told me not to worry but went out of sight in quite a hurry. Felt all alone, couldnt unfold all of my darkest thoughts into a language we both spoke. 

I'd raised the pillars from the ground and made them cast over me, as long as I kept them tall, I'd never be afraid to fall 

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Spiraling down a dark hole
no way out
no way to return 
from where I've come

Sucked in by the force
matter dissolving all around
and I, too, 
disappear

I've seen all,
experienced all 
that I need to
I'm going through without regrets, 
not looking back
This is who I am now
I fade to black 

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My shadow dances with yours 

in the abyss of silence, 

head down, darkness all around,

waltzing towards sparks of light

from our melded soul.

https://youtu.be/iqpJR654pCw

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You think me blind

That I don’t see the devil in your smile,

And the demons in your head.

The scars on your body,

And the stains on your heart

So, when I remind you of the empathy in your eyes

And the gentleness of your strong hands,

You feign silent exasperation at my “lack of sight”,

And what you call “misguided hopeful belief”

As such you put it upon yoursel...

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This Winter, 
It Feels Like My First.
Though Time Was Never My Friend.
These Things, They’ll Get By When We’re All Dead.
She Dreams 
Of Gothic Miserys
Of Times Never Began.
She’s A Dream A Day Ago While We’re Near.
While We’re Left With The White Noise Of Burning.
I Heard You Calling My Name.
And I 
For Days Oblige 
The Grave Inside Those Eyes.

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Life is too full of people 
willing to share their soul 
to focus on those who
aren’t open to your light. 

You were meant to soar with eagles,
not wallow with nocturnal wildlife. 

While they may be beautiful, 
mysterious, alluring, 
they thrive in darkness, 
a place you escaped long ago. 

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Time after time 
I give you another chance
to prove you still care.

You respond with 
the venomous bite
of a rattlesnake.

How much more 
poison can I take

before I am consumed 
by the same dark spirit
that possesses you?

I know I should run
far away

but I have convinced myself
of the old cliche...

better the devil you know 
than the devil you don't.

I know what to ex...

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Hey there lonely girl,

what are you doing wandering around

these dark places?

Don’t you know that 

evil lurks about? 

The void is littered

with those who will use you,

abuse you,

scar your soul for eternity. 

Listen to my pleas,

I’m begging on bended knees,

move forward

towards the light,

no matter how tempting

the mysterious

shadows may be. 

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I heard once that monsters used to live among us.

Can you imagine that?

Eating, sleeping and living just like we do.

But that all changed one day,

I don't know why, but it did.

Now, during the day they can't see us,

and we are tormented by the sight of them,

day and night.

strange, right?

Don't get me wrong, they are interesting creatures,

I just want to know why we m...

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In the frost sharp moonless night

the stars light the air

with a quiet and mystic brilliance

much closer than of yore

as a still quiet

blankets

the world below

Through the cold crystal dark night

a ghost drifts the grass

silent echo of a whispered flight

tree high above my eye

its soft locus

stalking

the land below

Through an ice star argent glea...

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Night.

I am transported by

a narrow orange moon

                and a million stars

                the still cool air

                the silence of the yard

I am welcomed by

a single ghostly owl swoop

                over the sheep fields

                the creak of my gate

                the scratch of my key on the lock

then

the silent click...

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Lie to Me

When the halyard raps the empty staff

and the hurricane screams its rage,

and the water-mountains heave and crash

in their spume-flecked valleys chained,

and I look upon this wild expanse

shouting fury for my pleas,

and ask in dread “Do we stand a chance?”

Please, oh please take pity ….

…. lie to me.

When darkness infiltrates my being,

seeps silent t...

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Kneeling at the window as if in prayer

He looks out at the night

The surrounding trees are black shadows

Barely seen against the indigo of the sky

No stars shine tonight

But an unrisen moon lightens the air a little

With an almost imagined spectral light

Somewhere over the distant lake an owl calls

And calls again

A late moth blunders against the open window

Otherwise...

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I’m losing my mind.

Don’t you understand?

I’m desperately reaching out for your hand.

Don’t leave me hanging, slipping, falling…

down into the endless abyss of darkness,

Never destined to land.

You’ve saved me once before,

But this time there are no safety ropes.

I’m free-falling, plummeting, going down…

My only hope Is for you to save me now.

I’m losing my ...

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I never lied I never cheated 
Never put my hands on it 
Her cat the only thing I’m beating 
I told you I loved you 
I showed you the meaning 

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He spoke

And then it seemed

The mist and perhaps my mind swirled round

A sickening looping helix

From that still small sphere of heat.

In the chill of a dusk we descended

Beneath a frosted sickle moon

Descended into the Stygian blackness

Of land above a still lake

From which no lunar gleam escaped

The frigid darkness was intense, solid

Consuming all my senses -

...

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{Diary Of The Southern Queen Entry #11} {Noiseless Silence}

The sound's

of the noiseless

silence that

ringings out

in their head's

like the

amplifiers

sound's off

that she's

dead `n` she

lays there in

the echoes of

hysteria `n` 

the noiseless

noise covered

her lifeless

emotionless

body with the

darkness as

the amplifiers

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Australia Centurion

Heidelberg light, hard edged;

not sharp-cutting wire

knifed thru fractured mica.

as old canvas turns

gold to sepia, brown to aged

ebony, in descending years

gone back, down, away,

to where we survive

and lie cocooned – like pupae

of paper wasps

in interstices of time, locked

in desiccated people-nests.

alive and dy...

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This one comes from some older stuff of mine, written whilst dealing with what i didnt realise was a depression / anxiety disorder at the time.  Thankfully now its under control, but reading this back makes me remeber just how black things were back then.

Darkness; continuous, deep, perpetual darkness.

Constant.  Soulless.  Empty dark space.

It laps at the edges, frayed edges of my c...

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[untitled]

I fear the darkness for it harbors all the evil I cannot see.
The unseen assailant following the breadcrumb trail in the shadows.
When I walk alone at night my shadow keeps me company. The shadow sometimes runs as I still walk slowly. In the shadows he runs; slowly, our shadow begins to bleed more darkness.

The house of a friend is nearby, I imagine as I crawl bleeding. The...

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Was it all real, 

what was said in the night?

Words sound different in the morning. 

But isnt the Romantic the one who knows right? 

He is the one who sees clearly 

that other world moving through us. 

Believe the heights, believe the depths;

it is the banality of the middle ground that lies, 

not the joy of the morning or the pain of the night. 

I must cling to what is ...

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You stand before an empty horizon,

The silhouette of the trees running sharply across the bottom of the sky,

Eyes fixed on those soulless, black shapes in the distance.

Your gaze wonders up – slowly. The sky transforms before you

From the light into the dark.

The moon hangs – trapped in the dawn of engulfment,

The ground beneath you is dim – stretching to meet the light.

...

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