sexual abuse (Remove filter)
Kindling
over the road the place is in flames
siren and screams music to my ears
time to go before the coppers arrive
for if I'm not careful I'll get ten years
baby-sitter she played with my willie
she sprawled yawning on their bed
bare naked after using hard drugs
flames from her matches bright red
how often I got my fingers burned
disastrous smell of singeing hair
...
Tuesday 6th July 2021 1:02 pm
Message to a racist
A ferocious sea of red, white and blue
Sieg heils and swastikas, Doc Marten boots
Shaven heads, braces and distorted faces
Driven by fear and irrational hatred
You think you're superior, sophisticated
The master race, ha! But your views are outdated
With your big fat round belly and your face like a pig
Your snarled lips as you yelled and you screamed and you hissed
At me, commie bitch, n*...
Friday 23rd October 2020 8:37 pm
where is my mind
You stuck your fingers up me and didn’t even know my name
You grabbed my ass and blamed it on the drink in your hand
You kissed my neck and pulled me into you
I was yours for the night---that one night.
I was too drunk and you knew. Yet you kept going
You kept going down on me further and further.
My bra somehow came off and you began to suck
I didn’t know what was going ...
Monday 12th October 2020 5:12 pm
Duality at Play (inner monologue of a childhood sexual abuse survivor
(Waring! Excessive use of expletives)
Hindsight illuminates the plight
Retrospect brings dark to light
Always a little too late
Try as I might
Do I stand up and fight
Or is this a time for flight
I can never seem to tell
Never get it right
Maybe genetically, I am a mix of ostrich and possum
Freeze and play dead
Or, in the ground with my head
...
Monday 14th September 2020 10:50 pm
the bus
the time he grabbed my ass
he never asked.
just because I'm nice doesn't make it okay
i didn't know what to say I just let it drift away
because who really gives a shit if I was inappropriately touched
no one. no one cares about anything. this life we live is pointless and people treat other people so poorly for no reason with no shits to give. I don't understand how people can liv...
Tuesday 7th July 2020 9:22 am
Poem for the Babysitter, Pete.
I think of you often
I think of you each time I see a Mini Cooper (especially if it's green, which is often)
I think of you when I see blue paper
Like touch paper it ignites the flames
Again.
I think of you at night as I lie in my bed
I think of you (sometimes) during my most intimate moments
I think of you when I see a gypsy skirt
Or a leather flower.
I think of you.
I think of you when...
Monday 6th January 2020 4:06 pm
Lump in my throat
This is about the guy who groomed me so language feedback would be 'really appreciated:)
In the sauna
I was an open wound.
My skin was anger:
sore and raw and
so self-conscious-
always naked.
I'd be feverish,
dehydrated,
and shaking.
The constant craving for salt,
was provoked by me,
so it was 'all my fault'
he was so thirsty.
He'd tear me apart...
Sunday 30th June 2019 6:44 pm
The Fight
Pink, Red, and orange
fade to black
and I take cover
hiding under the bed.
Laying with the demons roaring
screaming attack
I thought he was a lover
but he just needed to be fed.
Bigger than this body,
stronger than these bones
Crack
echos as the bones snap.
My ears ring with bawdy
words of meancing tones.
Wack
as he finishes his tap
...
Sunday 5th May 2019 3:31 am
The Aftermath
Building brick walls
to climb
and pretend to fall
cutting short a lifetime
Bricks I haul
covered in grime
pushing back the urge to bawl
at the memories of war crimes.
I smile at passerbys
and give an enuthastic wave
pretending to not be shattered by
the man who dug my grave.
I'd rather see
the expected conclave
between myself and the galaxy
...Friday 3rd May 2019 3:57 am
We Recieve The Love We Think We Deserve
all i really ever wanted was to be loved and appreciated
lord knows i get so low, so i get high and make myself elevated
every day and night i'm always high, yeah i just stay faded
i want a love and type of feel thats so fuckin real there ain't no way to fake it
i want a man who so badly wants to see my soul, and not just see me naked
all these dudes know how to do is use me, there's nothing ...
Sunday 11th March 2018 1:38 am
The Cuckoo & the Fledgeling Meet
The cuckoo and the fledgling meet
No song to sing, no dawn to greet
Sullen days, to the refuge retreat
Down the rabbit hole, exit lights my back
What disorientating & the degrading lack
Falls not free no terraferma, just terror, black
Knowledge & energy collide to confuse
Fever then to plague, no soul to transfuse
Attacked from inside, fuck it, light the fuse
Dealing with adversit...
Sunday 18th December 2016 11:25 am
The stranger on her neck
Can you see the track marks up her arms?
I spy
With my wide eye
The stranger upon her neck.
Like the birthmark of a bloodhound,
Like a grisly flesh pinch,
An angrily sealed wound,
A Chinese burn,
A beating burning bruise,
A bloody blush:
The bite of the hungry.
Teeth she counted like cash,
The molars which paid her fine
And got her Alice's very own wonder
-ful escape...
...Monday 22nd February 2016 9:13 pm
To the Girl in the Oak Tree
As you sit a top the branches
Of this ancient temple old and wise
Without a worry or a care
Shielding sunlight from your eyes
Can you see the woman down below?
Her face is full of fear
She has a tale she needs to tell
But, not one you'll want to hear
No fairytale of love and hope
This memoir from within
But a nightmare from which she waits
For her life to begin
You see, not long from...
Thursday 7th January 2016 6:25 pm
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