Duality at Play (inner monologue of a childhood sexual abuse survivor
(Waring! Excessive use of expletives)
Hindsight illuminates the plight
Retrospect brings dark to light
Always a little too late
Try as I might
Do I stand up and fight
Or is this a time for flight
I can never seem to tell
Never get it right
Maybe genetically, I am a mix of ostrich and possum
Freeze and play dead
Or, in the ground with my head
What a coward, the inner me screams...
Must we go through this again, forever it seems...
When will it be too much
When will you fight back...
Or is it not courage, but brains that you lack...
Get up, do something
Stop letting this happen to you...
YOU ARE WORTH IT, YOU MATTER
Believe it, it's true...
And your fucking parents too...
Fuck the pain
It's only energy
Transform it and expend...
Bring all this seemingly endless misery
to a fucking end
Don't be so hard on yourself
All this was done to you...
You had no control over it
Look at it this way
What is your purpose
What have you come here to do...
You are fighting back
Actively changing the narrative
Putting pen to paper, writing a new scroll...
Be proud of yourself
and what you've achieved...
You did the hard part,
it's time to be healed.