O come all ye faithless,

All your sodding family,

O come ye to my house

And view the debris.

Come see the broken glass

And the trampled down front door.

Your horse ate my pyjamas,

Your horse ate my pyjamas,

Your horse ate my pyjamas,

Thanks a lot!

O come bring your siblings,

Your sister is a menace,

She stole my identity

And ...

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Cosy bed comforts…

body lies weary…

eyelids heavy…

brain in overdrive…

And so I ask –

Is your flirting going anywhere?

does it mean anything?

or shall I just drift off

and dream of what could have been…

I open one eye,

two-fifteen!

through the gloom

digital shines red.

I turn over,

pull sheet over head,

cl...

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Twice this morning I ran up the stairs,

You may wonder why I would.

Well, after a year of aches and pains,

I did it because I could!

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I have waited so long

for you,

why must I always be waiting?

Sitting on wooden benches,

strolling along the seafront,

waiting,

waiting,

waiting,

normally in vain.

Those long months we are apart,

destined only to dream,

still I am

waiting,

waiting,

waiting.

Why do I persevere?

What hold is it you have?

when it would ...

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We met in the March with lingering glances,

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I got myself a nice little job

Back in the office again,

No more bakers for me,

I find my way to London.

I am getting off the bus,

I walk ahead and turn right,

It’s somewhere around here,

However, I can’t find it.

It’s only my second day here,

I found it alright yesterday.

People mill all about me,

If only I could ask someone.

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Solid old wood door

before me

creaks on its hinges,

leads me in to a scene

of decay.

Essentially,

a ‘D’ shaped room,

rounded bare brick walls,

years of neglect,

cobwebs hang eerily

from edges of

cracked, greyed ceiling

and hover above

the bare light bulb

hanging on an

ancient cord.

Chipped once-white

enamel si...

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The twenty-eighth day of October,

The year twenty-eleven,

A date we shall always remember,

Retirement – pure heaven!

We can get up when we feel like it

And choose what we want to do,

No doubt sleep on for a little bit,

Our lives have commenced anew.

Time to catch up on jobs we delayed,

To go and see all our friends.

Time to revisit place...

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I wake up much too early

and find I can’t sleep on,

then I realise

there’s something

under my neck,

something smelly.

I pull it out,

it’s a meaty dog treat

Benji buried

under my pillow

yesterday,

now broken in two.

I pull out the other piece

and drop them on the floor,

but what with the awful

meaty smell

and Colin’s snoring,

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Sorry to disappoint any Halloween hosts,

But I can’t seem to find the heart,

When confronted with vampires and ghosts,

I am just a boring old fart.

It’s an American thing, not British at all.

My childhood passed well enough without.

Therefore, this palaver is not my call,

I hardly know what it is about!

Halloween had never come to my street,

...

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To be read after Daughter, as this follows on.

2003

Every mother’s

worse nightmare,

what more could I do?

That last letter

you sent me

from prison

had me in floods of tears.

How you hated it in there,

how sorry you were

for all that you had

put us through,

and how everything

would be so different

on your release.

I hope...

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1988

Older sister in stroppy teens,

younger brother in mischief,

my shining star,

loving daughter,

my heroine.

2001

How will it be

when I knock on your door?

Will you be able

to face me today?

Or will you peep through

a gap in the curtains

from an upstairs window?

Will we sit and talk

as we sometimes still...

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I wrote this one about six years ago for my other half.  Believe it or not, a true story...

As Colin grew older his memory went,

Even if it was for money he’d lent.

He went to the doctor for some help,

More was needed than vitamins and kelp.

“Come back and see me,” the doctor said,

But after the very first night of going to bed,

Every last memory had flow...

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Oh, how I’d love to wander

always at your side

along the path of life together

so take me by the hand,

we shall decide which way to tread

and hope to reach our goals.

So let us walk the path of true love!

What care have I

for those who say

it never runs smoothly?

Within my heart, within my soul

you are all I need to live.

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No more working at that bakers!

I have no hesitation

In saying just how glad I am,

No more exploitation.

No more working for peanuts

For a boss expecting the earth,

No more working for an outfit

That should have been drowned at birth.

Only two more weeks to go

And I can leave this firm,

No more cooking bacon

That always makes me squirm.

...

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The sun is low in the east,

moon up high, north-west.

They kiss my cheeks

as I wander out

to greet the day.

There’s a chill in the air,

a promise in the sky.

Fasten my jacket,

I’m on my way.

Soon it will be dark

at this early hour,

just another month.

I shall stay longer

snuggled up in bed.

Sun peeps over the rooftops,

the ...

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The way the muscles tremble

At the corners of your mouth

When you’re trying not to grin.

The way your shoulders shake

With silent laughter

When you don’t want to give in.

The way your eyes flash with humour

When you decide to retaliate,

The way you laugh when caught off guard

And realise much too late.

The tenderness that alights in your...

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Every Christmas Eve without fail,

Santa would visit me in the night.

Excitedly, I would imagine

Him and his reindeer in flight.

As I grew older, suspicions arose,

Eventually, I began to learn

Santa was in fact my mum,

Mother Christmas, the term!

This continued into early teens,

Even when she knew I knew.

Then she brought me in a guitar

Wha...

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What do you mean, she irons your socks?

Is she some kind of a nut?

If that’s what you expect of a woman

I’m glad we made that cut!

Well, of course I didn’t used to,

It’s a pointless waste of time!

She’s colour-coded your wardrobe?!

And you don’t find that a crime?

She cooks you bread and butter pudding

Every single week?

All this and at the sa...

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A cockerel crowed three times at dawn

In the grounds of the Retirement Home

When Cyril’s illness finally took him

Simultaneously to another world.

Son and daughter at his bedside

Shed genuine, heartbroken tears.

Both reflecting on all of the fifty-five

And sixty years they had lived

He had always been there for them.

Neither looked forward to the task

...

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Sing me a song and I’ll wave you goodbye,

Pretend you’re not breaking my heart.

Wish me well and I’ll cry when alone,

I loved you too much from the start.

Your weeping guitar is deep in my soul,

Pluck me those strings once again,

Fill the air with your touching lyrics

In your bittersweet voice of pain.

Sing of your commitment to music,

Or yo...

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fascinatingly intricate

gossamer web

of an absent spider

wet with dew

sparkling like

a million diamonds

in the morning sunshine

of autumn

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Coalition tried

To save the country money

With massive job cuts.

Loss of income tax,

Paid more dole, had to borrow

More than Labour had.

Fewer consumers

To help the economy.

Did they really save?

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Forty-three years ago today

Since I walked up that aisle,

Since we put rings on fingers.

I should have run a mile!

Forty-three years ago today,

I guess I hadn’t heard her,

When Mum advised against,

I would’a got less for murder!

Forty-three years ago today,

You know I’m only kidding!

Still in love with each other.

Happy Anniversary d...

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She arrives at the salon

For her concessionary

Weekly wash and set,

Carrying the walking stick

She tries to avoid using,

As if just for emergencies.

My neighbour of long standing,

I know she is eighty-one,

Her son told me so on her birthday,

A fortnight ago.

Yesterday she proudly told me

She is in her eighty-second year.

An amiable, kindly s...

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Sitting in a side-street café,

Staring out at the rain.

My eyes as wet as the windows,

Mirroring my pain.

Plain bone china teacups,

Cutlery in steel,

Rose bud in a little vase,

Like me it isn’t real.

Blue and white check tablecloths,

Slate grey skies outside.

Teardrops in my coffee,

You left me with no pride.

Not the man I ...

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A society built on consumerism,

With a majority on the breadline.

It’s the have-nots that need money.

For our economy ever to be fine.

The rich already have all they need.

So will not be buying much more.

Yet lots of us would go on a spree

If decent money came to our door.

Our prime minister fools himself

If he thinks we all can pay

For luxuri...

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I ordered a new bed for the spare room,

We assembled it Saturday night.

I said, "Wasn't I good to buy you a bed?"

As well I thought I might.

"So I should think with your snoring,"

Ungraciously replied he.

He was bored with taking himself off

In the early hours to a settee.

I woke at five on Sunday morning,

Snoring his head off wa...

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The first time you said,

“I love you,”

We were lying on the beach,

Fully clothed.

Only known each other

A couple of weeks.

Both just eighteen.

You came to visit

On my family holiday.

Your mate fumed in his car

While we stole

A couple of hours

In the evening.

My mother fumed

Back in the caravan

With my friend

Who took it all i...

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A string of successive governments

Have completely failed to foresee

The pension crisis looming,

So our coalition was all at sea.

“People are living much longer!

So we will raise the retirement age.

There’s not enough money to pay out!

Everyone must save from their wage.”

Check any cost of living survey,

They all come out at much more

Th...

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Out shopping in town with hubby,

We went in a furniture store.

Decided to try out the sofas,

Wasn’t that what they were for?

We came upon a large rounded chair,

As if from a corner suite.

Two cushions, but would it seat two?

To try and find out seemed neat.

Well, neither of us expected it to swivel,

Nor that we’d sink so far down.

We wer...

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Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden,

Could you choose the most humane?

Adolf Hitler, Colonel Gaddafi,

Could you even come up with a name?

Of course you can’t, they were all bad!

Yet every polling day,

We are expected to vote for a British party.

What more can I say?

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May have to aplogise in advance for this one!  Or just blame Stefan and John Coopey for encouraging me!  ;)

I denied it was happening,

Couldn’t be happening,

I couldn’t be feeling this way.

It wasn’t on the cards for us.

I would be detached,

Impartial, come what may.

I would just be your landlady,

Crabby and out of bounds.

I’m sure this is w...

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Brown in some lights

Green in others,

Your eyes

Deliciously hazel

Gaze at me,

Make me feel whole.

Your smile

Melts my heart.

Muscley arms,

Shown to perfection

In sleeveless

Football tops.

I imagine those arms

Around me,

Holding me tight.

Your funny

Sense of humour

Makes me laugh.

So good to be

Your fri...

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Your smile is in my heart,

My heart is in your smile.

Waiting for sleep

I picture your face,

When I awake,

You are my first thought.

Love at long distance

Is so hard to do.

But I couldn’t help myself

When the magic began…

My heart catapulted

When your eyes met mine,

Gazing across the seaside bar,

And it wasn’t just the wine.

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These young rioters have no shame!

Didn’t do that in our day!

Let’s cut all their benefits,

Let’s make them all pay!

But once they have no money,

How then will they pay?

They’d only loot and pillage,

There’d be no other way.

We all feel sorry for the shopkeepers,

None of it’s their fault.

But to deal with these nasty thugs,

Common se...

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Among all others

You showed me hope.

I searched my soul

And it led to you.

My happiness hung by a thread.

You took me in,

I felt anew.

Those hours shared,

Feelings that grew,

Tumbling us into bed.

Just a few sweet months

In your embraces,

And yet all that I am

Is decidedly sure.

Between the sighs…

The love I crave is ...

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In July we had April weather,

I guess that was no surprise.

Should we have seen it coming?

When in April we had July’s!

We had the hottest Easter,

With wall to wall sunshine.

But now we’re into August,

We’re paying down the line.

Warm days but in the evenings,

The temperature’s nose dived.

Are the seasons still reversed?

Or is it tha...

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There’s a limit of thirty miles per hour,

And so the word goes round.

A speed camera has arrived in the road,

Don’t be the one to get found.

Man has one eye on the yellow box,

His Ford passes at twenty-nine,

Other eye is on his speedometer,

This careless driver escapes a fine.

Paying careful attention to the road,

Saab owner goes by at thirty-two.

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High unemployment, no jobs to be found,

There simply aren’t enough to go round.

So raise the retirement age,

Keep the young from a wage,

And run poor old folk into the ground.

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I’m floating on the turquoise sea,

I’m holidaying in Greece.

I’m clambering onto a speedboat

And heading off to Nice.

I’m shown round an ocean liner,

And settling by the pool.

Someone at the bar plays guitar.

I can sing in tune!  How cool!

Okay, so this must be a dream,

But I shall not wake up.

I’ll drink Tia Maria and Baileys

In a Pooh Bear cup...

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Through a mist of whirlpools, she surfaced.

No understanding would come.

In such unfamiliar surroundings,

From equipment nearby, a slight hum.

No recollection of occurrences,

Why she was in a hospital bed,

Who the man was that called her “hun”,

Just a jumble of nothing in her head.

Told that she had been in a coma,

An accident, some kind of a scrape,

...

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A boss so tight you just wouldn’t believe,

She takes bank holidays from our annual leave.

Now this year there’s an extra public holiday

For the Royal Wedding, hip-hip-hooray!

Except we have to work so it’s not for us.

Any wonder we feel like making a fuss?

Surrounding businesses will all be closed,

So we’re just opening to count our toes!

The reason she gav...

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I hear your voice in the soft, gentle breeze,

I close my eyes and I hear you.

In the rustling sway of the cypress trees,

Your precious voice transcends anew.

I hear your laugh from the bubbling brook

As I approach with halting steps.

My heart in my mouth, one wondering look,

I see your face within the depths.

I feel your touch as a maiden fly land...

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Hello, you look familiar,

I’m sure I’ve seen you before.

Were you one of my customers?

Did we have any rapport?

As I wander through the town,

A touch of window shopping,

I see someone I should know,

And now it seems they’re stopping!

Oh where is it I know you from?

You are greeting me by name,

How nice that you remember it,

If only I could say...

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This radio conversation out of the blue

From a naval ship has came to light,

Off Canadian shores, reported to be true

From ’95 on an October night.

The naval man started the conversation,

Confident it was he to make the decision.

“Approaching vessel – please change direction

15 degrees North to avoid collision.”

The response was a tremendous sauce

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Once there was a hapless thief

Who didn’t have a clue.

He heard that Gants Hill station safe

Would be the one to do.

For a start he got the station wrong,

He turned up at Grange Hill,

A quiet little station,

Their takings virtually nil.

He arrived with enough explosives

To blow up half the street,

Never mind about just the safe,

His ma...

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A backdrop of indigo mountains,

Pearl water cascades into brook,

Bubbles over rocks of titanium slate,

Tumbles foaming into beautiful lake,

Reflecting forget-me-not sky.

Trees of viridian and jade at distance,

Fields of emerald and gold.

Ivory cottage with tangerine roof,

Brass knocker on chestnut door,

Wine curtains at lattice windows.

Ruby geran...

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Along the pretty Pembrokeshire coast,

Under a sun that shone for ever,

We galloped over emerald cliffs.

Both holding imaginary reins,

Paula and I made spurring noises

To mounts that were supposed to be there.

Our families met while caravanning,

We decided to all tour together.

Big brothers enjoyed their own adventures.

A younger sister still napped af...

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Had I been born Welsh,

I would be openly proud.

Good origin to have,

I could say it out loud.

And how proud I’d be

Had I been born a Scott.

The loveliest accent,

I’d like that a lot.

If from Northern Ireland,

I could say I’m Irish.

Nothing wrong with that,

I’d still get my wish.

The wish to be able

To name my country,

Where I was b...

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